The Peaceful Daughter's Guide to Separating from a Difficult Mother


Book Description

Every woman has a mother story. A story she uses to define herself, to limit herself, to react from, to blame from, and to shame herself from. Using her own story, the author provides a series of thought-provoking concepts and tools to help adult daughters rewrite and transform their mother stories from tales of blame, shame, and reaction, to narratives of resilience, empowerment, and autonomy.This is NOT another "here's what's wrong with your mother" book!In The Peaceful Daughter's Guide to Separating from a Difficult Mother, Karen C.L. Anderson shares her down-to-earth and light-hearted wisdom and personal examples to illustrate the process she used to feel better about herself, using her relationship with her mother as the lens through which to focus.Readers will learn: ?* The difference between stories that hold you back and a story that sets you free.* What emotions really are, how to literally feel and process them, and how to safely express them.* The connection between thoughts and feelings.* The art of setting empowered boundaries.* How to stop "shoulding" when it comes to yourself and your mother.* How to start truly taking care of yourself and meet your own needs.Advance Praise for The Peaceful Daughter's Guide to Separating from a Difficult Mother"The work that Karen Anderson is doing with daughters in regards to their mothers is some of the most important work on the planet today. When we understand how influenced our minds are by what happened when we were growing up, we can then decide to let it go. In this book, Karen gives us the steps to do just that. I know from experience that this work is not easy, but it is by far the most important work I have ever done. Let Karen show you the way."~ Brooke Castillo, Master Coach Instructor & Founder of The Life Coach School




Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters


Book Description

“An empowering book . . . strategies for freeing yourself from the control of an unhealthy mother relationship.” —Susan Forward PhD, #1 New York Times–bestselling author of Toxic Parents For any adult daughter who struggles with a narcissistic, controlling, or otherwise difficult mother, here’s the good news: Your mother doesn't have to change in order for you to be happy. Inspired by her own journey, Karen C.L. Anderson shows women how to emotionally separate from their difficult mothers without guilt and anxiety, so they can finally create a life based on their own values, desires, needs, and preferences. With personal stories, practical tools, and journal prompts that can be used now to feel better. Anderson compassionately leads women struggling in their relationships with their difficult mothers through a process of self-awareness and understanding. Her experience with hundreds of women has resulted in cases of profound growth and transformation. This book is about Anderson discovering and accepting the whole of who she is (separate from her mother), and—in relatable, real, funny, and compassionate prose—making her discoveries accessible to women struggling to redefine their own challenging relationships with their mothers. Learn: · Why mothers and daughters can have difficult relationships · How to heal and transform your mother “wounds” · How to tell your stories in a way that empowers · How to handle the uncomfortable emotions that seem inevitable · The art of creating, articulating, and maintaining impeccable boundaries · How to stop “shouldering” How to “re-mother” yourself and acknowledge, honor, and meet your needs




The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal


Book Description

#1 New Release in Parent & Adult Child Relationships ─ Healing for Mothers and Daughters A compassionate guide: Karen C.L. Anderson is a storyteller, feminist, and speaker who views the world through the lens of curiosity and fascination. As a mother-daughter relationship expert, she gently guides readers through revealing painful patterns in their relationships to finding ultimate healing. Her book isn’t a quick fix. Rather, she writes to help mothers and daughters heal and either reconcile or peacefully separate. Tips and tools for healing: Anderson comes prepared in this book to offer readers practical advice for creating a healthier relationship. Her previous book, The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide to Separating from a Difficult Mother, was an international bestseller, and she offers new practical wisdom in this journal. From setting healthy boundaries to creating a new outlook, Anderson helps readers create peace in their troubled relationships. You’re not alone in the struggle: Studies suggest that nearly 30% of women have been estranged from their mothers at some point. It can be difficult to talk about the strain of mother and daughter relationships because they are so often glorified in our society as one of the most precious bonds. If anything, however, that makes them more important to talk about. Anderson’s book is ideal for mothers and daughters alike, whether they read it separately or together. Open it up and find: • Various prompts and practices for building a relationship around healthy interdependence rather than dysfunctional codependence • A way to transform things that create pain into a source of wisdom and creativity • An informative and intriguing self-care gift for women in the form of a healing journal Readers of self-help books such as Mothers Who Can’t Love, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters will find a wonderful source of help and healing in Anderson’s The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal.




Mothers Who Can't Love


Book Description

With Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters, Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of the smash #1 bestseller Toxic Parents, offers a powerful look at the devastating impact unloving mothers have on their daughters—and provides clear, effective techniques for overcoming that painful legacy. In more than 35 years as a therapist, Forward has worked with large numbers of women struggling to escape the emotional damage inflicted by the women who raised them. Subjected to years of criticism, competition, role-reversal, smothering control, emotional neglect and abuse, these women are plagued by anxiety and depression, relationship problems, lack of confidence, and difficulties with trust. They doubt their worth, and even their ability to love. Forward examines the Narcissistic Mother, the Competitive Mother, the Overly Enmeshed mother, the Control Freak, Mothers who need Mothering, and mothers who abuse or fail to protect their daughters from abuse. Filled with compelling case histories, Mothers Who Can’t Love outlines the self-help techniques Forward has developed to transform the lives of her clients, showing women how to overcome the pain of childhood and how to act in their own best interests. Warm and compassionate, Mothers Who Can’t Love offers daughters the emotional support and tools they need to heal themselves and rebuild their confidence and self-respect.




When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends


Book Description

“A book of great value for every daughter and every mother; useful for sons, too.”—Benjamin Spock, M.D. From the Introduction: The goal of this book is to help readers achieve that separation so that they can either find a way to be friends with their mothers, or at least recognize and accept that their mothers did the best they could—even if it wasn't “good enough”—and to stop blaming them. Among the issues to be covered: • To understand how a daughter's attachment to her mother—more so than her relationship with her father—colors all her other relationships, and to analyze why it is more difficult for daughters than sons to separate from their mothers, as well as why daughters are more subject than sons to a mother's manipulation • To recognize the difference between a healthy and a destructive mother-daughter connection, and to define clearly the “bad mommy,” in order to help readers who have trouble acknowledging their childhood losses to begin to comprehend them • To conjugate what I call the “Bad Mommy Taboo”—why our culture is more eager to protect the sanctity of maternity than it is to protect emotionally abused daughters • To describe the evolution of the "unpleasable" mother—in all likelihood, she was bereft of maternal love as a child—and to recognize the huge, and often poignant, stake she has in keeping her grown daughter dependent and off-balance • To illustrate the consequent controlling behavior—in some cases, cloaked in fragility or good intentions—of such mothers, which falls into general patterns, including: the Doormat, the Critic, the Smotherer, the Avenger, the Deserter • To understand that the daughter has a similar stake in either being a slave to or hating her mother—the two sides of her depen dency and immaturity • To illustrate the responsive behavior—and survival mechanisms —of daughters, which is determined in part by such variables as birth rank, family history, and temperament, and which also falls into patterns, including: the Angel, the Superachiever, the Cipher, the Troublemaker, the Defector • To show how to redefine the mother-daughter relationship, so that each can learn to see and accept the other as she is today, appreciating each other's good qualities and not being snared by the bad • Finally, to demonstrate that a redefined relationship with one's mother—adult to adult—frees you from the past, whether that re definition ultimately results in real friendship, affectionate truce, or divorce.




Will I Ever be Good Enough?


Book Description

The first book specifically for daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers,Will I Ever Be Good Enough?provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life for yourself. Drawing on over two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women's psychology and health, psychotherapist Dr. Karyl McBride helpsyou recognize the widespread effects of this maternal emotional abuse and guides you as you create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery.An estimated 1.5 million American women have narcissistic personality disorder, which makes them so insecure and overbearing, insensitive and domineering that they can psychologically damage their daughters for life. Daughters of narcissistic mothers learn that maternal love is not unconditional, and that it is given only when they behave in accordance with their mothers' often unreasonable expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters consequently have difficulty overcoming their insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, sadness, and emotional emptiness. They may also have a terrible fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy love relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism, or to self-sabotage and frustration.Herself the recovering daughter of a narcissistic mother, Dr. McBride includes her personal struggle, which adds a profound level of authority to her work, along with the perspectives of the hundreds of suffering daughters she's interviewed over the years. Their stories of how maternal abuse has manifested in their lives -- as well as how they have successfully overcome its effects -- show you that you're not alone and that you can take back your life and have the controlyouwant.Dr. McBride's step-by-step program will enable you to:(1) Recognize your own experience with maternal narcissism and its effects on all aspects of your life (2) Discover how you have internalized verbal and nonverbal messages from your mother and how these have translated into a strong desire to overachieve or a tendency to self-sabotage (3) Construct a step-by-step program to reclaim your life and enhance your sense of self, a process that includes creating a psychological separation from your mother and breaking the legacy of abuse. You will also learn how not to repeat your mother's mistakes with your own daughter.Warm and sympathetic, filled with the examples of women who have established healthy boundaries with their hurtful mothers,Will I Ever Be Good Enough?encourages and inspires you as it aids your recovery.




Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power


Book Description

An essential work for readers seeking compassionate, wise guidance about the powerful relationship between mothers and their sons and daughters. Mother love is often seen as sacred, but for many children the relationship is a painful struggle. Using the newest research on human attachment and brain development, Terri Apter, an internationally acclaimed psychologist and writer, unlocks the mysteries of this complicated bond. She showcases the five different types of difficult mother—the angry mother, the controlling mother, the narcissistic mother, the envious mother, and the emotionally neglectful mother—and explains the patterns of behavior seen in each type. Apter also explores the dilemma at the heart of a difficult relationship: why a mother has such a powerful impact on us and why we continue to care about her responses long after we have outgrown our dependence. She then shows how we can conduct an “emotional audit” on ourselves to overcome the power of the complex feelings a difficult mother inflicts. In the end this book celebrates the great resilience of sons and daughters of difficult mothers as well as acknowledging their special challenges.




Parenting for Peace


Book Description

This book emphasizes a mother's role in the development of the child's brain and emotional infrastructures.




Mom's House, Dad's House


Book Description

Internationally renowned therapist, family expert and mediator Isolina Ricci, Ph.D. presents this definitive and newly updated guide to divorce and making shared custody work for parents and children. The ground-breaking classic, Mom’s House, Dad’s House, has become the standard for two generations of divorcing parents, and includes examples, self-tests, checklists, tools, and guidelines to help separated moms and dads with the legal, emotional, and financial issues they will encounter as they work to create happy and stable homes. This comprehensive guide looks anew at the needs of all family members with creative options and common-sense advice, including: * The map to a “decent divorce” and two happy homes * Helping children of divorce with age-specific advice * Negotiating Parental Agreements and custody arrangements * Breaking away from “negative intimacy” with a difficult ex-husband or ex-wife * Sidestepping destructive myths about divorce (and marriage) * Handling long-distance parenting and parenting alone With Mom’s House, Dad’s House, parents will learn how to help their children heal and find a sense of continuity, security, and stability throughout the divorce process and in any custody situation.




The Primal Wound


Book Description

Originally published in 1993, this classic piece of literature on adoption has revolutionised the way people think about adopted children. Nancy Verrier examines the life-long consequences of the 'primal wound' - the wound that is caused when a child is separated from its mother - for adopted people. Her argument is supported by thorough research in pre- and perinatal psychology, attachment, bonding and the effects of loss.