The Self-Mothering Effect


Book Description

The stress caused by abusive or traumatic experiences can affect every aspect of life, making it difficult to feel happy, fulfilled, and maintain healthy relationships. What's worse is that it can be passed on to your children. Through personal experience and thousands of hours of research, author LadyWake has found the missing link. She calls it The Self-Mothering Effect. We all know how powerful and loving a concerned Mom can be when her child is suffering and it is with this sweet intensity that we must mother ourselves if we are to finally heal our childhood trauma patterns. In this book, you will discover that you can trace your current lack of fulfillment, stress, depression, and overwhelm to past traumas; childhood trauma increases the risk of an individual experiencing serious mental and physical health conditions in adulthood; parents can pass their traumas to their children, creating generational trauma patterns and unfair baggage for them to sort through; and you can heal from narcissistic abuse, codependency, and any other emotional trauma. The unique WAAKE methodology offered in this book provides a solid foundation for healing your childhood trauma patterns and preventing them from repeating in your children's lives.




Will I Ever be Good Enough?


Book Description

The first book specifically for daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers,Will I Ever Be Good Enough?provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life for yourself. Drawing on over two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women's psychology and health, psychotherapist Dr. Karyl McBride helpsyou recognize the widespread effects of this maternal emotional abuse and guides you as you create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery.An estimated 1.5 million American women have narcissistic personality disorder, which makes them so insecure and overbearing, insensitive and domineering that they can psychologically damage their daughters for life. Daughters of narcissistic mothers learn that maternal love is not unconditional, and that it is given only when they behave in accordance with their mothers' often unreasonable expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters consequently have difficulty overcoming their insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, sadness, and emotional emptiness. They may also have a terrible fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy love relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism, or to self-sabotage and frustration.Herself the recovering daughter of a narcissistic mother, Dr. McBride includes her personal struggle, which adds a profound level of authority to her work, along with the perspectives of the hundreds of suffering daughters she's interviewed over the years. Their stories of how maternal abuse has manifested in their lives -- as well as how they have successfully overcome its effects -- show you that you're not alone and that you can take back your life and have the controlyouwant.Dr. McBride's step-by-step program will enable you to:(1) Recognize your own experience with maternal narcissism and its effects on all aspects of your life (2) Discover how you have internalized verbal and nonverbal messages from your mother and how these have translated into a strong desire to overachieve or a tendency to self-sabotage (3) Construct a step-by-step program to reclaim your life and enhance your sense of self, a process that includes creating a psychological separation from your mother and breaking the legacy of abuse. You will also learn how not to repeat your mother's mistakes with your own daughter.Warm and sympathetic, filled with the examples of women who have established healthy boundaries with their hurtful mothers,Will I Ever Be Good Enough?encourages and inspires you as it aids your recovery.




Mothering the Self


Book Description

The mother-daughter relationship has preoccupied feminist writers for decades, but typically it has been the daughter's story at centre-stage. Mothering the Self brings together these maternal and daughterly stories by drawing on in-depth interviews with women who speak both as mothers and as daughters. This study examines the ways in which these mothers and daughters participate in their understanding of class, gender, and race locations, both using and resisting them. The result is a fresh start from which to consider the far-reaching implications of this relationship - not simply for mothers and daughters, but in terms of how we understand the shaping of the self and its place within the social world.




The Emotionally Absent Mother, Second Edition: How to Recognize and Cope with the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect (Second)


Book Description

The groundbreaking guide to self-healing and getting the love you missed “Years ago, I was on vacation and read The Emotionally Absent Mother. That book was one of many that woke me up. . . . I began the process of reparenting and it’s changed my life.”—Dr. Nicole LePera, New York Times–bestselling author of How to Do the Work Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships—or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can’t quite put a finger on what’s missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse—but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering. In this second edition of her pioneering book, with compassion for mother and child alike, she explains: Possible reasons your mother was distracted or hurtful—and what she was unable to give The lasting impact of childhood emotional neglect and abuse How to find the child inside you and fill the “mother gap” through reflections and exercises How to secure a happier future for yourself (and perhaps for your children).




The Primal Wound


Book Description

Originally published in 1993, this classic piece of literature on adoption has revolutionised the way people think about adopted children. Nancy Verrier examines the life-long consequences of the 'primal wound' - the wound that is caused when a child is separated from its mother - for adopted people. Her argument is supported by thorough research in pre- and perinatal psychology, attachment, bonding and the effects of loss.




Of Woman Born: Motherhood as Experience and Institution


Book Description

The pathbreaking investigation into motherhood and womanhood from an influential and enduring feminist voice, now for a new generation. In Of Woman Born, originally published in 1976, influential poet and feminist Adrienne Rich examines the patriarchic systems and political institutions that define motherhood. Exploring her own experience—as a woman, a poet, a feminist, and a mother—she finds the act of mothering to be both determined by and distinct from the institution of motherhood as it is imposed on all women everywhere. A “powerful blend of research, theory, and self-reflection” (Sandra M. Gilbert, Paris Review), Of Woman Born revolutionized how women thought about motherhood and their own liberation. With a stirring new foreword from National Book Critics Circle Award–winning writer Eula Biss, the book resounds with as much wisdom and insight today as when it was first written.




Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power


Book Description

An essential work for readers seeking compassionate, wise guidance about the powerful relationship between mothers and their sons and daughters. Mother love is often seen as sacred, but for many children the relationship is a painful struggle. Using the newest research on human attachment and brain development, Terri Apter, an internationally acclaimed psychologist and writer, unlocks the mysteries of this complicated bond. She showcases the five different types of difficult mother—the angry mother, the controlling mother, the narcissistic mother, the envious mother, and the emotionally neglectful mother—and explains the patterns of behavior seen in each type. Apter also explores the dilemma at the heart of a difficult relationship: why a mother has such a powerful impact on us and why we continue to care about her responses long after we have outgrown our dependence. She then shows how we can conduct an “emotional audit” on ourselves to overcome the power of the complex feelings a difficult mother inflicts. In the end this book celebrates the great resilience of sons and daughters of difficult mothers as well as acknowledging their special challenges.




Safe House


Book Description

Parenting isn't rocket science, it's just brain surgery. And Dr. Joshua Straub has good news for you: You can do it! You don’t need to do all the “right” things as a parent. Both science and the Bible show us that the most important thing we can provide for our kids is a place of emotional safety. In other words, the posture from which we parent matters infinitely more than the techniques of parenting. Emotional safety—more than any other factor—is scientifically linked to raising kids who live, love, and lead well. Learn how to use emotional safety as a foundation from which you parent—and make a cultural impact that could change the world! In Safe House, Dr. Straub draws from his extensive research and personal experience to help you: - Foster healthy identity and social development in children of any age - Win the war without getting overwhelmed in the daily battles - Discipline in a way that builds relationship - Understand how the culture is affecting your child and what you can do about it - Cultivate responsible, self-regulating behavior in your kids - Establish an unshakeable sense of faith, morality, and values in your home - Feel more confident and peaceful as a parent - Find a greater perspective on parenting than what you might see on a daily basis Also includes a Safe House Parenting Assessment.




The Emotional Incest Syndrome


Book Description

From Dr. Patricia Love, a ground-breaking work that identifies, explores and treats the harmful effects that emotionally and psychologically invasive parents have on their children, and provides a program for overcoming the chronic problems that can result.




Self-Mothering


Book Description

Raising ourselves from cradle to grave is a big job! Breaking old habits and challenging our cultivated mindsets is difficult. As children we are guided by our parents and teachers, but as adults, who assists us in our development? Who can help us to heal the wounds of our childhoods, repair the brokenness of our adulthoods, and inspire the next chapters of our new lives? While it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a council to raise an adult. In Self-Mothering: My Mothers Council, author and physiatrist Deborah Lee Bernal introduces an active process to help us find heroes, contemporary role models, and personal mentorspeople that we can rely on to help us develop and heal as adults. Through this process of self-mothering, you can choose who motivates you and whom you want to emulate for your own council of mothers; this council can guide you to your destiny, and Dr. Bernal suggests a number of renowned women to follow on this path: Maya Angelou, the lawyer mother; Fa Mulan, mother wit; the biblical prophetess Deborah, the queen mother; Mother Teresa, doctor mom; Harriet Tubman, the godmother; and many, many more. The lives of these women speak volumes and can today reveal a path to your own enlightenment. You do not have to choose these mothers; you can choose the women for your own council of mothers. Because through all stages of our lives, we need our mothers counsel.