For This We Left Egypt?


Book Description

The book you hold before you is no ordinary Haggadah. If you’ve ever suffered through a Seder, you’re well aware of the fact that the entire evening can last as long as the exodus from Egypt itself. There are countless stories, dozens of blessings, and far too many handwashings while the meal turns cold. Now prepare to be entertained by another version of the book that’s responsible for this interminable tradition. With this hilarious parody Haggadah from the comedic minds of Dave Barry, Alan Zweibel, and Adam Mansbach, good Jews everywhere will no longer have to sit (and sleep) through a lengthy and boring Seder. In For This We Left Egypt?, the authors will be take you through every step of the Seder, from getting rid of all the chametz in your home by setting it on fire with a kosher blowtorch to a retelling of the Passover story starring Pharaoh Schmuck and a burning bush that sounds kind of like Morgan Freeman, set against the backdrop of the Promised Land—which turned out not to be a land of milk and honey but rather one of rocks and venomous scorpions the size of Yorkshire terriers. You then eat a celebratory brisket and wrap up the whole evening by taking at least forty-five minutes to say good-bye to everyone. So gather all the Jews in your life (even the few who don’t appear to be long-suffering) and settle in for a fun way to pass the time while waiting for Elijah to show up.




The Unorthodox Haggadah


Book Description

The Unorthodox Haggadah is a way to enjoy the strange and wonderful world of religion, while skipping the boring parts. Ritual is at the core of every culture, but people are no longer into dogma. This book offers the ritual with a hilarious, irreverent twist. It is genuinely funny, fun to flip through, and a riot to use at the seder. Make sure everyone around your table has a copy for the next Passover. Sample text: Let's begin by drinking the blood of a virgin lamb off the tip of a flaming golden scimitar. In the event that you've de-virginized your lamb or misplaced your scimitar, use wine. Now, we toast the Israelites for rolling out of Egypt in time and generally being clever. Here are a few things they've invented since 1901: Jeans, lipstick, Hollywood, the fax machine, psychoanalysis, and the weekend. Thanks for getting us out of Egypt before shit got too real. Drink the second cup of wine while leaning to the left. “…light up your seder.” -Huffington Post "A cool, creative affront to Jewish grandmothers." -MediaBistro “Redefine Bitter Herbs…slightly insane.” -Tablet Magazine "It’s the Passover you never knew you always wanted...While there are many (many!) different Haggadah versions out there, this one is hands down our favorite (sorry Maxwell house). Genuinely funny, which puts it head and shoulders above 99.9% of the treacly crap people foist on unsuspecting seder guests to try to fool them into thinking they’re actually enjoying themselves.” -Heeb Magazine­




The Yada Yada Haggadah


Book Description




30 Minute Seder


Book Description

This refreshingly brief, Rabbinically approved Passover Haggadah maintains the reverence of Passover while keeping the high points intact. The contemporary gender-neutral text, beautiful full-colour illustrations, and Seder songs make for a memorable Passover Seder that engages and entertains the entire family. 30minute-Seder' contains simple directions and Passover Seder plate instructions. Hebrew prayers are also provided with transliteration. The treatment given to the four-children (traditionally the four sons) is simply brilliant. The four-questions and their answers are presented in a truly thought provoking way. This fun-to-read Passover Haggadah is perfect for the family on the go and appeals to new and experienced Seder participants alike.




Passover Parodies


Book Description

What was the least interesting seder you ever attended? And what was the most interesting? If your experience is like most of ours, your worst seders were dry readings of the haggadah, unoriginal and done by rote. The better seders, on the other hand, were imaginative and thought-provoking. The best may even have included a clever surprise. An incredible 95% of American Jews participate in a Passover seder every year; it's the best-attended Jewish ritual. Yet most participants find the seder dull, repetitive, and incomprehensible. They attend out of a sense of duty, but they don't enjoy it. Passover Parodies is a series of ten-minute plays for the Passover seder table. Families select one each year (or more, if they're ambitious) to read aloud. Like the traditional humorous Purim-shpiel, the plays entertain, educate, and provoke the discussion that is supposed to dominate a seder. A family might choose to examine Jewish tradition through the eyes of Sherlock Holmes ("This cracker was produced by someone in a most urgent rush. Furthermore, it has been broken along one side. A segment has been removed. Why? That is what we must endeavor to find out."), ... or experience the exodus from Casablanca ("I remember every detail: the Egyptians wore skirts, you wore a tallis. But mostly I remember the wow finish. A guy in a basket, floating in the bulrushes, with a comical look on his face because he has a diaper that needs changing."), ... or starring four young Marx Brothers ("Pharoah, you have to let my people go. If you don't, my ancestors would rise from their graves and I'd only have to bury them again."). They might let Hermione Granger explain the magic of the ten plagues, or challenge traditional God-belief on Sigmund Freud's couch. Some of these plays can replace parts of the seder; for example, the Shakespeare play ("Much Ado About Bupkes") tells the Exodus story. Others can complement the rituals, or provide new viewpoints, or simply add humor to what can be a dry ceremony. Readers can choose the themes they like, perhaps reading a different skit each year. The plays also vary in cast size, to accommodate both large and small seders.




Haggādā šel pēsaḥ


Book Description




For This We Left Egypt?


Book Description

A hilarious parody of the Passover Haggadah from three award-winning comedy writers.




The Trump Passover Haggadah


Book Description

"[The author presents] these radically irreverent political parody Haggadahs"--Page 4 of cover.




New American Haggadah


Book Description

Jonathan Safran Foer's and Nathan Englander's spectacular Haggadah-now in paperback. Upon hardcover publication, NEW AMERICAN HAGGADAH was praised as a momentous re-envisioning through prayer, song, and ritual of one of our oldest, most timeless, and sacred stories-Moses leading the ancient Israelites out of slavery in Egypt to wander the desert for 40 years before reaching the Promised Land. Featuring a new translation of the traditional text by Nathan Englander and provocative essays by a collection of major Jewish writers and thinkers, it was received not only as a religious document but a magnificent literary and artistic achievement. Now, after two years of patience, those readers who asked for a paperback edition have gotten their wish.