The Two Kebabs Trilogy


Book Description

Embark on a thrilling journey through the memoirs of Johnny Two Kebabs, the legendary 'conscious vigilante,' in this gripping trilogy of novellas. In the first instalment, "From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce," Johnny uncovers a sinister plot involving a Russian assassination. As he delves deep into the conspiracy, he must navigate a treacherous web of lies and deceit. In the second novella, "How I Found The G Spot," Johnny takes on a different kind of challenge as he investigates the enigmatic conspiracy group known as G-Nome. Along the way, Johnny's own vulnerabilities come to light, revealing the complex layers beneath his valiant facade. Finally, in the third story, "The Mixed Doner Murders," Johnny tackles his most perplexing case yet. As a series of gruesome murders shocks the city, he must unravel the twisted motives behind the notorious 'Mixed Doner Murderer.' With lives hanging in the balance, Johnny's unwavering determination and sharp instincts are put to the ultimate test. These memoirs delve into the depths of Johnny Two Kebabs' psyche. Discover his unique 'philosophy' and the unwavering 'ethical' code that guides his every move.




The Second Trilogy Of Johnny Two Kebabs


Book Description

Journey through these memoirs with Johnny as he describes a world fraught with danger, mystery and questionable hygiene. With each page, he draws us deeper into his enigmatic realm as the truth behind each tale is unveiled. Setting the stage for the three novellas in this collection, "The Prequel" chronicles his astonishing rise to fame. How, during an unforgettable contest at Achmed's kebab shop in south London, he achieved notoriety by devouring two doner kebabs in a jaw-dropping one minute and fifty-nine seconds, after already having downed thirteen pints of lager. Next, his courage and resourcefulness are put to the test when he becomes entangled in an investigation into the murder of a Conservative MP, during which, he uncovers a sinister terrorist plot by a Cornish separatist group which propels him into a race against time to thwart a devastating attack. Finally, his strangest investigation yet leads him into the eccentric realm of alternative therapies. He comes face to face with the ghost of a former British prime minister, and together they must unravel the mystery of a series of brutal murders. In these pages, the 'conscious vigilante' opens up in a way he has never done before about realising the true power of the human spirit. He reveals what drives him and how his philosophy underpins his determination to vanquish evil. Brace yourself as you join Johnny Two Kebabs while he metes out justice on the mean streets of south London.




The Two Kebabs Trilogy and Prequel


Book Description

This collection is the complete works of Johnny Two Kebabs so far. It contains "The Prequel" as well as the three novellas "From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce," "How I Found The G Spot" and "The Mixed Doner Murders"




Johnny Two Kebabs - The Prequel


Book Description

On 15th June 2011, an extraordinary event took place in Brixton, south London. On that day, an Irishman devoured two doner kebabs in a mere 1 minute and 59 seconds. What made this feat even more remarkable was the fact that he had already indulged in 13 pints of lager. Now, in a riveting account, the true story of the events leading up to this accomplishment is recounted by the protagonist, 'Johnny Two Kebabs.' In this 'prequel' Johnny invites us into his world. Prepare to be captivated as he unveils how he came to be known, among other things, as the 'conscious vigilante.' Not simply the tale of a gastronomic triumph, it is also the story of a man, fuelled by a fervent sense of justice, as he fearlessly tracks down and brings to justice a dangerous armed robber. This is the story of Johnny Two Kebabs.




The Badge And The Gun


Book Description

When Johnny's underpants are stolen, such is his outrage that he takes a solemn vow: Until the day he tracks down the underpants thief and brings him to justice, he will 'go commando.' Deprived of his jocks and driven by a relentless desire for justice, he investigates not only the theft of his undergarment but also the circumstances surrounding a trail of bodies left in south London by the 'underpants killer.' Could the underpants thief and the underpants killer be the same person? Is the serial killer a 'trophy hunter'? With no jocks on, will Johnny get a chill in his kidneys? These are the questions Johnny must answer as he 'rides bareback' in his quest to find the culprit.




Mind Games


Book Description

JUSTINE KNOWS SHE’S GOING TO DIE. ANY SECOND NOW. Justine Jones has a secret. A hardcore hypochondriac, she’s convinced a blood vessel is about to burst in her brain. Then, out of the blue, a startlingly handsome man named Packard peers into Justine’s soul and invites her to join his private crime-fighting team. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime deal. With a little of Packard’s hands-on training, Justine can weaponize her neurosis, turning it outward on Midcity’s worst criminals, and finally get the freedom from fear she’s always craved. End of problem. Or is it? In Midcity, a dashing police chief is fighting a unique breed of outlaw with more than human powers. And while Justine’s first missions, including one against a nymphomaniac husband-killer, are thrilling successes, there is more to Packard than meets the eye. Soon, while battling her attraction to two very different men, Justine is plunging deeper into a world of wizardry, eroticism, and cosmic secrets. With Packard’s help, Justine has freed herself from her madness—only to discover a reality more frightening than anyone’s worst fears. From the Paperback edition.




Persepolis Rising


Book Description

The seventh book in the NYT bestselling Expanse series, Persepolis Rising finds an old enemy returning home with more power and technology than anyone thought possible, and the crew of the aging gunship Rocinante tries to rally forces against the new invasion. Now a Prime Original series. HUGO AWARD WINNER FOR BEST SERIES An old enemy returns. In the thousand-sun network of humanity's expansion, new colony worlds are struggling to find their way. Every new planet lives on a knife edge between collapse and wonder, and the crew of the aging gunship Rocinante have their hands more than full keeping the fragile peace. In the vast space between Earth and Jupiter, the inner planets and belt have formed a tentative and uncertain alliance still haunted by a history of wars and prejudices. On the lost colony world of Laconia, a hidden enemy has a new vision for all of humanity and the power to enforce it. New technologies clash with old as the history of human conflict returns to its ancient patterns of war and subjugation. But human nature is not the only enemy, and the forces being unleashed have their own price. A price that will change the shape of humanity -- and of the Rocinante -- unexpectedly and forever. . . The Expanse Leviathan Wakes Caliban's War Abaddon's Gate Cibola Burn Nemesis Games Babylon's Ashes Persepolis Rising Tiamat's Wrath ​Leviathan Falls Memory's Legion The Expanse Short Fiction Drive The Butcher of Anderson Station Gods of Risk The Churn The Vital Abyss Strange Dogs Auberon The Sins of Our Fathers




Mad


Book Description

In this compulsively readable debut, set between London and Sicily over one blood-drenched week in the dead of summer, an identical twin reveals the crazy lies and twists she'll go through to not only steal her sister's perfect life, but to keep on living it. Alvie Knightly is a trainwreck: aimless, haphazard, and pretty much constantly drunk. Alvie's existence is made even more futile in contrast to that of her identical and perfect twin sister, Beth. Alvie lives on social media, eats kebabs for breakfast, and gets stopped at security when the sex toy in her carry-on starts buzzing. Beth is married to a hot, rich Italian, dotes on her beautiful baby boy, and has always been their mother's favorite. The twins' days of having anything in common besides their looks are long gone. When Beth sends Alvie a first-class plane ticket to visit her in Italy, Alvie is reluctant to go. But when she gets fired from the job she hates and her flatmates kick her out on the streets, a luxury villa in glitzy Taormina suddenly sounds more appealing. Beth asks Alvie to swap places with her for just a few hours so she can go out unnoticed by her husband. Alvie jumps at the chance to take over her sister's life--if only temporarily. But when the night ends with Beth dead at the bottom of the pool, Alvie realizes that this is her chance to change her life. Alvie quickly discovers that living Beth's life is harder than she thought. What was her sister hiding from her husband? And why did Beth invite her to Italy at all? As Alvie digs deeper, she uncovers Mafia connections, secret lovers, attractive hitmen, and one extremely corrupt priest, all of whom are starting to catch on to her charade. Now Alvie has to rely on all the skills that made her unemployable--a turned-to-11 sex drive, a love of guns, lying to her mother--if she wants to keep her million-dollar prize. She is uncensored, unhinged, and unforgettable.




The Shadow Hour


Book Description

The much-anticipated sequel to the book Danielle Page, author of Dorothy Must Die, says is "inventive, gorgeous, and epic--Grey dazzles." Everything in Echo's life changed in a blinding flash when she learned the startling truth: she is the firebird, the creature of light that is said to bring peace. The firebird has come into the world, but it has not come alone. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, and Echo can feel a great and terrible darkness rising in the distance. Cosmic forces threaten to tear the world apart. Echo has already lost her home, her family, and her boyfriend. Now, as the firebird, her path is filled with even greater dangers than the ones she's already overcome. She knows the Dragon Prince will not fall without a fight. Echo must decide: can she wield the power of her true nature--or will it prove too strong for her, and burn what's left of her world to the ground? Welcome to the shadow hour. Praise for the Girl at Midnight Series: “A stunning debut. . . . Equal parts atmosphere and adventure, Melissa Grey’s The Girl at Midnight is positively divine.” —Victoria Schwab, author of A Darker Shade of Magic “An action- and angst-packed installment reminiscent of Buffy and Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere.” —Kirkus Reviews “Catnip for fans of Cassandra Clare.” —BookPage.com “A must-read.” —Paste magazine “You are going to love Echo.” —Bustle.com “Sparks fly. . . . Will please fans of Cassandra Clare and Game of Thrones watchers with its remarkable world building; richly developed characters; and themes of family, power, loyalty, and romance.” —Booklist, Starred “A feisty heroine, fun supporting characters, a mission to save the world, and some seriously spicy romance.” —SLJ “Fast-paced, action-packed, and full of laughs.” —Nerdist.com “Enthralling and pure magic, Grey’s debut is delightful!” —Romantic Times “A page-turner—I was hooked from start to finish.” —Latina Magazine




The Kingdom of Copper


Book Description

S. A. Chakraborty continues the sweeping adventure begun in The City of Brass—"the best adult fantasy I’ve read since The Name of the Wind" (#1 New York Times bestselling author Sabaa Tahir)—conjuring a world where djinn summon flames with the snap of a finger and waters run deep with old magic; where blood can be dangerous as any spell, and a clever con artist from Cairo will alter the fate of a kingdom. Nahri’s life changed forever the moment she accidentally summoned Dara, a formidable, mysterious djinn, during one of her schemes. Whisked from her home in Cairo, she was thrust into the dazzling royal court of Daevabad—and quickly discovered she would need all her grifter instincts to survive there. Now, with Daevabad entrenched in the dark aftermath of a devastating battle, Nahri must forge a new path for herself. But even as she embraces her heritage and the power it holds, she knows she’s been trapped in a gilded cage, watched by a king who rules from the throne that once belonged to her family—and one misstep will doom her tribe.. Meanwhile, Ali has been exiled for daring to defy his father. Hunted by assassins, adrift on the unforgiving copper sands of his ancestral land, he is forced to rely on the frightening abilities the marid—the unpredictable water spirits—have gifted him. But in doing so, he threatens to unearth a terrible secret his family has long kept buried. And as a new century approaches and the djinn gather within Daevabad's towering brass walls for celebrations, a threat brews unseen in the desolate north. It’s a force that would bring a storm of fire straight to the city’s gates . . . and one that seeks the aid of a warrior trapped between worlds, torn between a violent duty he can never escape and a peace he fears he will never deserve.