You Can't Iron a Wrinkled Birthday Suit


Book Description

Zany women and their pets have fun getting older. "When I get old, I hope to have friends as awesome as these. This is an absolutely feel good novel. Naturally, our intrepid characters, wattles and all, undergo all sorts of trials, but it's the compassion and generosity they exhibit that endears the reader." -- Sam Sanders, via NetGalley Zany families, eccentric friends, and ne-er-do-well neighbors inhabit the labyrinthine lives of three women friends as they grapple with real world events in one "Golden Year." An unwelcome visit from local law enforcement, a younger friend's romantic chaos, and the death of a parent combine with daily mundanities---laundry, scones, and senior sex---to create a walloping, raucous read. Opinionated pets---critics and alter egos---offer a rich counterpoint to the human dramas affecting their lives. Unfiltered and compelling, this entertaining sago provides readers of all ages with a new and positive view of growing older.




Birds Speak-out ...


Book Description

A Word To The Reader...... This Book is “for the Birds.” It is their answer to the Lion King and the watery search for the fish named Nemo. Birds collect a lot of history since they fly all over the world. They are not restricted to the land as the Lion King nor the Fish limited to the water. They collect information written on the walls of dark caves by the mouse disguised as a Bird, the Bat, they collect nautical information from Sea Gulls, and they have been known to extract information from the toughest person by squeezing it from him/her when hung around his/her neck as an Albatross. If there are any grammatical errors in this Book, they are due to the strict one-to-one translation of the information the Author collected from the traditional chirping Birds and those who talk, squawk and quack such as Parrots, Crows and Ducks. Also, errors may have occurred when the Birds gathered information written in “Ebonics” and that information was translated by the Secretary Bird into “Ebirdnics," the universal language of the Birds. Draft versions of this Book have existed at various times, and the Covers of those draft versions have been included in this Book.




Murders at the Harmony Hollows Resort


Book Description

A sleuthing librarian and her friends embark on a fun-filled trip to a holiday camp—but death isn’t taking a holiday . . . June 1998: Elodie Marshall has committed a terrible crime. But when she’s deemed unfit to plead, she is sentenced to living within the confines of a mental health facility . . . Present day: Amateur detective Pru Pearce and her friends from the Winterbottom Women’s Institute are about to embark on their annual getaway. The 1960s Butlins-style Harmony Hollows Resort has caught their attention for a few reasons, including the northern ballroom championships and the unsolved double murder from 1983. But what the women thought was just a cold case soon steps into the present when a murderer, dubbed The Grim Sleeper, strikes. Soon, Pru and the other WI women are dragged deeper into the mysteries of both the past and present-day murders. But this is no evening entertainment—this is real life, and everyone is in danger . . . Can Pru uncover the truth before another innocent camper is offed? Or are her friends in Chalet 13 destined to meet a grisly end? This killer comedy is the latest in the series of “warm, cozy crime capers” by the author of the Constable Mavis Upton novels (Jill’s Book Café).




The Big Sleep


Book Description

DigiCat Publishing presents to you this special edition of "The Big Sleep" by Raymond Chandler. DigiCat Publishing considers every written word to be a legacy of humankind. Every DigiCat book has been carefully reproduced for republishing in a new modern format. The books are available in print, as well as ebooks. DigiCat hopes you will treat this work with the acknowledgment and passion it deserves as a classic of world literature.




The King's Birthday Suit


Book Description

King Albert-Horatio-Otto the Third had SO many clothes it was simply absurd ... So when two seemingly well-meaning fabric merchants promise to make an outfit of only the very BEST and most special cloth, King Albert-Horatio-Otto the Third simply cannot resist. He MUST have these new clothes! Surely, the unquestionably charitable and not-at-all-suspicious-looking tailors are genuine, and the King won't end up looking red-cheeked ... ? This funny and timely retelling of Hans Christian Andersen's classic fable 'The Emperor's New Clothes' will not only make children laugh, but also encourage them to think and speak up for what they believe. This audio-enabled edition comes with a gorgeous reading by Sam Newton, along with special music and sound effects.




Short Stories of a Southern, Middle-Class, Contented, White Woman


Book Description

People and simple events have always fascinated me. Trying to capture them on paper has made me an incurable writer. Though none of these stories are absolutely true, they may contain an essence of some of the unforgettable personalities and times that I've encountered over the course of my "Southern and white" life (which, incidentally, I had nothing to do with.) By accepting Jesus Christ as my Savior, I have learned to appreciate my past and have hope for the future. Thereby, I have become contented.




My Way of Life


Book Description

From “Grand Hotel” to “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?,” Joan Crawford played some of the finest parts Hollywood had to offer, establishing a reputation as the most spectacular diva on the silver screen. Even when the cameras quit rolling, her life never stopped being over-the-top. In My Way of Life, a cult classic since it was first published in the early 1970’s, Crawford shares her secrets. Part memoir, part self-help book, part guide to being fabulous, My Way of Life advises the reader on everything from throwing a small dinner party for eighteen to getting the most out of a marriage. Featuring tips on fashion, makeup, etiquette and everything in between, it is an irresistible look at a bygone era, when movie stars were pure class, and Crawford was at the top of the heap.







Everyday Health Tips


Book Description

A collection of facts and information designed to improve daily health and living.




A Blind Corner


Book Description

From the award-winning author of Mrs. and The Fundamentals of Play comes a brilliant and biting short story collection about pride, privilege, and our nagging need to belong. In an era of “hot takes” and easy generalizations, this collection reclaims the absurdities and paradoxes of life as it is actually lived from the American fantasy of “niceness”. In Macy’s world, human desires and fatal blind spots slam headlong into convenient, social-media-driven narratives that would sort us into neat boxes of insider or outsider; good or bad; with us or against us. Time and again, whether at home or in the age-old role of Americans abroad, Macy’s women see their good intentions turn awry. A woman who tries to do a good deed for an underprivileged child sees it go horribly wrong. A wife, attempting to be a good host to a friend’s strange ex-boyfriend, finds herself in a compromised situation. And, in the title story, a newlywed fancies herself a Euro-sophisticate until an accident reminds her just how truly foreign she really is. In tales where shocking and sometimes brutal events disabuse characters of their most cherished beliefs, Macy forgoes easy moralization in favor of uncomfortable truths that reveal the complexity of what it means to be human.