Aliens


Book Description

Aliens can make great pets, if you pick the right one . . .If you have made the brave decision to own your very own alien, then brace yourself for an experience that is out of this world! This extra-terrestrial guide contains all you need to know about caring for your energetic, alien life form. With helpful hints and tips on how to pick the perfect egg and cope with cocoons and hazardous toilet habits (alien pee is acidic!). But watch out! Aliens are intelligent, they develop fast and may wish to return home. And if you're not very careful, they may take you with them . . . Another superbly funny spoof user guide with an intergalactic twist. From the creators of MONSTERS: AN OWNER'S GUIDE.




The Alien Invasion Survival Handbook


Book Description

Resistance is Your Prime Directive Have you ever experienced a sensation of missing time? Have you ever found a metallic implant somewhere in your body? It's likely that you're a victim of alien abduction, and you don't even know it. Aliens are among us. While the true intentions of these mysterious intruders from outer space are unknown, there's no doubt that their actions are nefarious. It's your right - your civic responsibility - to learn the skills necessary to protect yourself, your loved ones and ultimately your planet. Aliens want to whisk you away in the night to perform terrifying experiments on you. Isn't it time you learn how use your MP3 player to defend yourself from their paralyzing powers? Shouldn't you know how to evade the pursuit of a flying saucer? Wouldn't you sleep better at night knowing some proven hand-to-hand combat techniques guaranteed to stop your extraterrestrial foe in its tracks? Make no mistake - our world is under attack and this handbook may be the only thing standing between the human race and total annihilation. Read it and join the resistance.







U.S. Tax Guide for Aliens


Book Description




I Froze My Mother


Book Description

From the kid-like brain of Ted Scheu, one of the world's funniest poets for children, here comes a house-full of dreams, screams, groans, and giggles. Family life has never been more humorously or honestly portrayed in poems than in I Froze My Mother and other Seriously Funny Family Poems. In this collection of rhyming poems, children ages 7 to 11 will find answers to nagging childhood questions and problems. Now they can instantly freeze their mothers. Learn new words from their dad. Maybe trade their brothers. Or help their sisters share their secrets. The fresh, honest voices lurking within these poems combine with eye-popping Peter Lourie photographs to endlessly tickle gigglebones. Kids will zoom through this collection before their mother even thaws. I Froze My Mother is one of the funniest, freshest collections of poems for kids to tumble down the stairs in years. Give it a test giggle today. I Froze My Mother is a hilarious companion to Ted Scheu's other funny poetry collections, I Tickled My Teachers and I Threw My Brother Out'all from Young Poet's Press. I Froze My Mother inspired celebrated children's author and poet J. Patrick Lewis to write, ?Ted Scheu's ?seriously funny family poems? gleefully demonstrate that he is seriously off his noodle-?high praise for a children's poet. I Froze My Mother takes up where Jack Prelutsky left off...somewhere in outer space.'




The Three Little Aliens and the Big Bad Robot


Book Description

Introduce kids to the planets and solar system in this fractured fairy tale retelling of the classic The Three Little Pigs. Parents and children alike will adore this out-of-this-world story, which is set in outer space! GREEP BOINK MEEP! The three little aliens are happily settling into their new homes when the Big Bad Robot flies in to crack and smack and whack their houses down! A chase across the solar system follows in this humorous and visually stunning book from Margaret McNamara (How Many Seeds in a Pumpkin?) and Mark Fearing (The Book that Eats People). The endpapers even include a labeled diagram of all the planets.







How to Defend Yourself Against Alien Abduction


Book Description

“A very powerful book . . . Druffel’s research does us all a great service.”—Dr. Edgar Mitchell, Apollo 14 astronaut and author of The Way of the Explorer In 1988 Ann Druffel, who has researched UFOs for forty years, discovered a little-known fact that had been drowned in abduction hysteria—documented evidence that people have successfully fended off attack by the “greys,” the short, big-eyed aliens now familiar through so much popular media. Using her database of 250 case studies, including seventy “resisters,” Druffel has ascertained nine techniques that witnesses use to ward off alien entities and even break off abductions in progress. And perhaps even more astonishing, this evidence points to the possible true identity of the greys and their link to the abducting entities of myth and folklore. How to Defend Yourself Against Alien Abduction covers various resistance techniques, including: • Mental Struggle: Block their mind control • Physical Struggle: Fight back • Righteous Anger: Summon your inviolate rights • Protective Rage: Guard your loved ones • Support from Family Members: Seek strength in numbers • Intuition: Sense them coming • Metaphysical Methods: Create a personal shield • Appeal to Spiritual Personages: Get help from on high • Repellents: Use time-tested fend-off substances Complete with hair-raising true tales of courage and illustrated with eyewitness sketches, How to Defend Yourself Against Alien Abduction is the only book with step-by-step instructions on what to do—and not to do—if aliens come knocking on your door.




Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World 2019


Book Description

THE trusted source of information for a successful Walt Disney World vacation Compiled and written by a team of experienced researchers whose work has been cited by such diverse sources as USA Today and Operations Research Forum, The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World digs deeper and offers more than any other guide. The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World 2019 explains how Walt Disney World works and how to use that knowledge to make every minute and every dollar of your vacation count. With advice that is direct, prescriptive, and detailed, it takes the guesswork out of travel by unambiguously rating and ranking everything from hotels, restaurants, and attractions to rental car companies. With an Unofficial Guide in hand, and authors Bob Sehlinger and Len Testa as guides, find out what’s available in every category, from best to worst, and use step-by-step detailed plans to help make the most of your time at Walt Disney World.