Funny Things Happened on My Way to the Cemetery


Book Description

Ever been chased by a jealous husband swinging an axe? Or had your shoelaces and socks chewed by a cheetah while you couldn't move? What about having a doctor pass out beside you while he was delivering your child? If your answers are no, then you are lucky. If you want to find out how someone survived these wild and crazy adventures, read this book! The light-hearted autobiography of Hugh MacDonald recounts the laughable and unusual adventures and misadventures of a budding concert pianist, a minister of one of Canada’s largest churches, a college professor, a radio talk-show host, a Paris tour guide, and a civil marriage commissioner. MacDonald tells of being carried down a main street in Montreal completely naked; walking a marathon with raw eggs squishing in his boots; being forced to eat beef stew, well-flavoured with cat hair; inadvertently buying 3,125 condoms in preparation for his wedding; being marooned and coming close to death in a Northern Ontario blizzard; and so much more! MacDonald winds these yarns into an interesting account of his long and varied life. This book can be read in one sitting, or you can savour it as bedtime reading, enjoying one or two funny stories each night. Either way, you can’t go wrong with this humorous telling of MacDonald’s life.




A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Cemetery


Book Description

Nineteen side-splitting stories from sri lanka to begin this chronicle of the funny things that have happened to him, muller goes back to his days as a recruit in the royal ceylon navy when the queen of england came a-visiting: the saucy sailors decide to tip her a wink! the second story takes us back to mullers childhood in anuradhapura where two visiting rat snakes turn out to be a railway linesmans grandparents there are further hilarious adventures in the navy, encounters with more snakes of different sizes and lineage, graphic descriptions of jam-making factories, and hazardous days in the gulf effortlessly, muller creates caricatures that leave you helpless with laughter as they highlight the follies and foibles of the human race.




A Funny Thing Happened on My Journey to Heaven


Book Description

Me?!? Go to church? Lightning will strike me dead! Me?!? Homeless? Jobless? How did this happen? Me?!? Give money to the church? They are just after my money! Me?!? Go back to school? Become a CPA? I'm over 40! Me?!? Tithe? I give enough! Me?!? Date? How could I ever trust a man again? Me?!? Write a book? I'm a CPA for Heaven's sake! Me?!? Witness? People will think I'm strange! Author Patricia Coury Hartman is, of all things, a CPA. She always sees the lighter side of life, even though she has been through some very deep painful times, including divorce and parenting alone. Her smile and her laughter brighten any room. Her humility shows through in her writing, as she shares transparently how she got to where she is today. She has a gift of taking the complex and making it simple. Her journey has taken her from: [Runaway to Home Again [Liberal to Conservative [Atheist to Christian [Single Mom to Married [Empty Nester [Rebellion to Contentment [Broke to Financially Stable [Bus Driver to CPA [Homeless to Homeowner [Proud to Humble [Lost to Found [Sinner to... well... Grab a cup of coffee and a box of tissues and head for the easy chair. Get ready for times of laughter, reflection and joy...




Lost in the Never Woods


Book Description

When children start to go missing in the local woods, a teen girl must face her fears and a past she can't remember to rescue them in this atmospheric YA novel, Lost in the Never Woods from the author of Cemetery Boys. It’s been five years since Wendy and her two brothers went missing in the woods, but when the town’s children start to disappear, the questions surrounding her brothers’ mysterious circumstances are brought back into the light. Attempting to flee her past, Wendy almost runs over an unconscious boy lying in the middle of the road... Peter, a boy she thought lived only in her stories, asks for Wendy’s help to rescue the missing kids. But, in order to find them, Wendy must confront what’s waiting for her in the woods. Praise for Aiden Thomas and Cemetery Boys: “This stunning debut novel from Thomas is detailed, heart-rending, and immensely romantic.” —Mark Oshiro, author of Anger is a Gift “Aiden Thomas masterfully weaves a tale of family, friendships, and love in a heartwarming adventure full of affirmation and being your best self." — C.B. Lee, author of Not Your Sidekick




Confederate Veteran


Book Description




A Funny Thing Happened


Book Description

The humorous stories that Dr. White tells about in this book are all about people in and out of the church and the ups and downs of life in the parsonage. Funny things can happen at church, and the behavior of some religious people can make you laugh and laugh. Behind the humor in this book is often a spiritual truth. But this is more than a religious book. It is about changing times in North Carolina for three quarters of a century. Dr. White keeps telling about things he has learned during this time, or maybe he is subtly teaching his readers to learn with him what religion is really all about. The people in the stories may seem like someone you know in your own church or family. The comical stories will entertain you while you ponder their meaning. The more serious ones may touch you deeply.




Lucky 666


Book Description

“A fast-paced, well-researched…irresistible” (USA TODAY) World War II aviation account of friendship, heroism, and sacrifice that reads like Unbroken meets The Dirty Dozen from the authors of the #1 New York Times bestselling The Heart of Everything That Is. It’s 1942, just after the blow to Pearl Harbor and the Japanese invasion of the Philippines, and the United States is reeling. A group of raw US Army Airmen travels to the embattled American Air Base of Port Moresby at Papua, New Guinea. Their mission: to protect Australia, to disrupt the Japanese supply lines, and to fly perilous reconnaissance runs over the enemy-held strongholds. Among the men are pilot Captain Jay Zeamer and bombardier Sergeant Raymond Joseph “Joe” Sarnoski, a pair of swashbuckling screw-ups whose antics prevent them from being assigned to a regular bombing crew. Instead, they rebuild a broken-down B-17 bomber from spare parts and christen the plane Old 666. One day in June 1943, a request is circulated: volunteers are needed for a reconnaissance flight into the heart of the Japanese empire. Zeamer and Sarnoski see it as a shot at redemption and cobble together a crew and depart in Old 666 under cover of darkness. Five hours later, dozens of Japanese Zeros riddle the plane with bullets. Bloody and half-conscious, Zeamer and Sarnoski keep the plane in the air, winning what will go down as the longest dogfight in history and maneuvering an emergency landing in the jungle. Only one of them will make it home alive. With unprecedented access to the Old 666 crew’s family and letters, as well as newly released transcripts from the Imperial Air Force’s official accounts of the battle, Lucky 666 is perhaps the last untold “great war story” (Kirkus Reviews) from the war in the Pacific. It’s an unforgettable tale of friendship, bravery, and sacrifice—and “highly recommended for WWII and aviation history buffs alike” (BookPage).




Warm Hearts


Book Description

From America's beloved storyteller come two classic novels of unexpected romance that are sure to warm readers' hearts. Includes "Heat Wave" and "A Special Something." Original.




The Refugees


Book Description

“Beautiful and heartrending” fiction set in Vietnam and America from the Pulitzer Prize–winning author of The Sympathizer (Joyce Carol Oates, The New Yorker) In these powerful stories, written over a period of twenty years and set in both Vietnam and America, Viet Thanh Nguyen paints a vivid portrait of the experiences of people leading lives between two worlds, the adopted homeland and the country of birth. This incisive collection by the National Book Award finalist and celebrated author of The Committed gives voice to the hopes and expectations of people making life-changing decisions to leave one country for another, and the rifts in identity, loyalties, romantic relationships, and family that accompany relocation. From a young Vietnamese refugee who suffers profound culture shock when he comes to live with two gay men in San Francisco, to a woman whose husband is suffering from dementia and starts to confuse her with a former lover, to a girl living in Ho Chi Minh City whose older half-sister comes back from America having seemingly accomplished everything she never will, the stories are a captivating testament to the dreams and hardships of migration. “Terrific.” —Chicago Tribune “An important and incisive book.” —The Washington Post “An urgent, wonderful collection.” —NPR




Dixie's Daughters


Book Description

Wall Street Journal’s Five Best Books on the Confederates’ Lost Cause Southern Association for Women Historians Julia Cherry Spruill Prize Even without the right to vote, members of the United Daughters of the Confederacy proved to have enormous social and political influence throughout the South—all in the name of preserving Confederate culture. Karen Cox traces the history of the UDC, an organization founded in 1894 to vindicate the Confederate generation and honor the Lost Cause. In this edition, with a new preface, Cox acknowledges the deadly riots in Charlottesville, Virginia, showing why myths surrounding the Confederacy continue to endure. The Daughters, as UDC members were popularly known, were daughters of the Confederate generation. While southern women had long been leaders in efforts to memorialize the Confederacy, UDC members made the Lost Cause a movement about vindication as well as memorialization. They erected monuments, monitored history for "truthfulness," and sought to educate coming generations of white southerners about an idyllic past and a just cause—states' rights. Soldiers' and widows' homes, perpetuation of the mythology of the antebellum South, and pro-southern textbooks in the region's white public schools were all integral to their mission of creating the New South in the image of the Old. UDC members aspired to transform military defeat into a political and cultural victory, in which states' rights and white supremacy remained intact. To the extent they were successful, the Daughters helped to preserve and perpetuate an agenda for the New South that included maintaining the social status quo. Placing the organization's activities in the context of the postwar and Progressive-Era South, Cox describes in detail the UDC's origins and early development, its efforts to collect and preserve manuscripts and artifacts and to build monuments, and its later role in the peace movement and World War I. This remarkable history of the organization presents a portrait of two generations of southern women whose efforts helped shape the social and political culture of the New South. It also offers a new historical perspective on the subject of Confederate memory and the role southern women played in its development.