The Good Divorce


Book Description

It's never too late to have a good divorce Based on two decades of groundbreaking research, The Good Divorce presents the surprising finding that in more than fifty percent of divorces couples end their marriages, yet preserve their families. Dr. Ahrons shows couples how they can move beyond the confusing, even terrifying early stages of breakup and learn to deal with the transition from a nuclear to a "binuclear" family--one that spans two households and continues to meet the needs of children. The Good Divorce makes an important contribution to the ongoing "family values" debate by dispelling the myth that divorce inevitability leaves emotionally troubles children in its wake. It is a powerful tonic for the millions of divorcing and long-divorces parents who are tired of hearing only the damage reports. It will make us change the way we think about divorce and the way we divorce, reconfirming our commitment to children and families.




Splitopia


Book Description

Packed with research, insights, and illuminating (and often funny) examples from Paris’s own divorce experience, this book is a “practical and reassuring guide to parting well.” —Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project Engaging and revolutionary, filled with wit, searing honesty, and intimate interviews, Splitopia is a call for a saner, more civil kind of divorce. As Paris reveals, divorce has improved dramatically in recent decades due to changes in laws and family structures, advances in psychology and child development, and a new understanding of the importance of the father. Positive psychology expert and author of Happier, Tal Ben-Shahar, writes that Paris’s “personal insights, stories, and research” create “a smart and interesting guide that can be extremely helpful for those going through divorce.” Reading this book can be the difference between an expensive, ugly battle and a decent divorce, between children sucked under by conflict or happy, healthy kids. This is “a compelling case that it’s high time for a new definition of Happily Ever After—for everyone” (Brigid Schulte, author of Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time).




Primal Loss


Book Description

Seventy now-adult children of divorce give their candid and often heart-wrenching answers to eight questions (arranged in eight chapters, by question), including: What were the main effects of your parents' divorce on your life? What do you say to those who claim that "children are resilient" and "children are happy when their parents are happy"? What would you like to tell your parents then and now? What do you want adults in our culture to know about divorce? What role has your faith played in your healing? Their simple and poignant responses are difficult to read and yet not without hope. Most of the contributors--women and men, young and old, single and married--have never spoken of the pain and consequences of their parents' divorce until now. They have often never been asked, and they believe that no one really wants to know. Despite vastly different circumstances and details, the similarities in their testimonies are striking; as the reader will discover, the death of a child's family impacts the human heart in universal ways.




But You Seemed So Happy


Book Description

In this tender, funny, and sharp companion to her acclaimed memoir-in-essays Amateur Hour, Kimberly Harrington explores and confronts marriage, divorce, and the ways love, loss, and longing shape a life. Six weeks after Kimberly and her husband announced their divorce, she began work on a book that she thought would only be about divorce — heavy on the dark humor with a light coating of anger and annoyance. After all, on the heels of planning to dissolve a twenty-year marriage they had chosen to still live together in the same house with their kids. Throw in a global pandemic and her idea of what the end of a marriage should look and feel like was flipped even further on its head. This originally dark and caustic exploration turned into a more empathetic exercise, as she worked to understand what this relationship meant and why marriage matters so much. Over the course of two years of what was supposed to be a temporary period of transition, she sifted through her past—how she formed her ideas about relationships, sex, marriage, and divorce. And she dug back into the history of her marriage — how she and her future ex-husband had met, what it felt like to be madly in love, how they had changed over time, the impact having children had on their relationship, and what they still owed one another. But You Seemed So Happy is a time capsule of sorts. It’s about getting older and repeatedly dying on the hill of being wiser, only to discover you were never all that dumb to begin with. It’s an honest, intimate biography of a marriage, from its heady, idealistic, and easy beginnings to it slowly coming apart and finally to its evolution into something completely unexpected. As she probes what it means when everyone assumes you’re happy as long as you’re still married, Harrington skewers engagement photos, Gen X singularity, small-town busybodies, and the casual way we make life-altering decisions when we’re young. Ultimately, this moving and funny memoir in essays is a vulnerable and irreverent act of forgiveness—of ourselves, our partners, and the relationships that have run their course but will always hold profound and permanent meaning in our lives.




Divorce Busting


Book Description

A step-by-step approach to making your marriage loving again.




Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay


Book Description

There are many books that promise to help you fix a bad relationship. This groundbreaking bestseller is the first one to help you choose whether you should even try—or if you need to go. Psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum draws on years of research and her work with real-life couples to help you make the right decision. She shows you how to diagnose your unique situation with self-analysis and questions like these, which get to the very heart of your problems: • What sins are forgivable and which ones are unpardonable? • Is your partner questioning your opinions to the point where you doubt yourself? • What is your sex life really like, and how important is it? • Is there real love left between you, and how does it stack up against all that you find unlovable? Mira Kirshenbaum provides expert guidelines that are the key to making all your choices, concrete steps that you can implement right now, and the ultimate way to determine your personal bottom line—what you need to be happy. This remarkably insightful and probing guide offers advice that lets you see the truth about your relationship—and with wisdom and compassion, it helps you act with the confidence of knowing that whether you decide to go or stay, you are doing the very best thing.




Getting Apart Together


Book Description

Guess which couple got more of what they wanted: Charles and Charlotte, who worked out a negotiated settlement together? Or John and Joyce, who let the court settle their differences? Couples who want to negotiate their own divorce settlements now have a comprehensive self-help guide, complete with ground rules, agendas for discussion, sample forms, and options for divorce mediation without "bloodshed." Not quite a "do-it-yourself" manual - you'll still need an attorney - but packed with real-couple examples of successful agreements on Co-Parenting, Custody, Financial Support, College Planning, Property, Insurance, Taxes.... An organized, thorough guide to the important issues for every separating couple, and an effective aid for those who seek professional mediation. "Your chances of getting the outcome you want are best when you take control of the decision-making process," says Martin Kranitz, Director of the National Center for Mediation Education in Annapolis, Maryland. "Couples can work out their own decisions, if they know what to talk about."




Torn Asunder


Book Description

A timely unsettling of old "settled" questions surrounding divorce Amid the current nationwide debate over what "marriage" is, this book examines anew the nature and meaning of marriage from the standpoint of what adult children of divorce have actually experienced. Upholding the inextricable link between our personal identity and our origin in a union of two — and, more deeply, in the Fatherhood of God — the contributors to this volume reflect on the damage that divorce does to children, opening up important questions for all of us: What does it mean to be human? What does it mean to love and to marry? After decades of talk about the rights of adults to get a divorce and the benefits for children of an amicable split between parents (a so-called "good divorce"), these authors — theologians, philosophers, political scientists, lawyers, psychologists, sociologists, and cultural critics — effectively unsettle conventional opinion.




Vicki Lansky's Divorce Book for Parents


Book Description

A parents' guide to helping youngsters cope with divorce offers advice on such issues as breaking the news, custody, and other matters.




The Life-Saving Divorce


Book Description

You Can Love God and Still Get a Divorce. And get this, God will still love you. Really. Are you in a destructive marriage? One of emotional, physical, or verbal abuse? Infidelity? Neglect? If yes, you know you need to escape, but you're probably worried about going against God's will. I have good news for you. You might need to divorce to save your life and sanity. And God is right beside you. In "The Life-Saving Divorce" You'll Learn: - How to know if you should stay or if you should go.- The four key Bible verses that support divorce for infidelity, neglect, and physical and/or emotional abuse. - Twenty-seven myths about divorce that aren't true for many Christians. - Why a divorce is likely the absolute best thing for your children. - How to deal with friends and family who disapprove of divorce. - How to find safe friends and churches after a divorce. Can you find happiness after leaving your destructive marriage? Absolutely yes! You can get your life back and flourish more than you thought possible. Are you ready? Then let's go. It's time to be free. This book includes multiple first-person interviews. Explains psychological abuse, gaslighting, the abuse cycle, Christian divorce and remarriage, children and divorce, domestic violence, parental alienation, mental abuse, and biblical reasons for divorce. Includes diagrams such as the Duluth Wheel of Power and Control (the Duluth Model) and the Abuse Cycle, as well as graphs based on Paul Amato's 2003 study analyzing Judith Wallerstein's book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. Includes quotes by Leslie Vernick, Lundy Bancroft, Shannon Thomas, David Instone-Brewer, Natalie Hoffman, LifeWay Research, Kathleen Reay, Gottman Institute, Glenda Riley, Martin Luther, John Calvin, Steven Stosny, Michal Gilad, Leonie Westenberg, Nancy Nason-Clark, Julie Owens, Marg Mowczko, Justin Holcomb, Barna Group, Justin Lehmiller, Alan Hawkins, Brian Willoughby, William Doherty, Brad Wright, Bradford Wilcox, Sheila Gregoire, E Mavis Hetherington, John Kelly, Betsey Stevenson, Justin Wolfers, Norm Wright, Virginia Rutter, Judith Herman, and Bessel van der Kolk. Recommended reading list includes: Henry Cloud, John Townsend Boundaries books, Richard Warshack books.