A Photo Curmudgeon's Tale


Book Description

Long-time columnist and lifelong photographer Shawn M. Tomlinson writers about the art and technique of photography with wit and humor. He focuses in his Photo Curmudgeon columns on getting started in as well as moving into advanced photography. Instead of concentrating upon the newest, shiniest photographic equipment, Tomlinson works with all levels of older equipment, makes recommendations and recounts his own "Voyages of Photography." He helps the novice get started with higher end, older cameras and lenses, and helps with photo editing suggestions and techniques.




The Unbudgeable Curmudgeon


Book Description

A BANK STREET BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR "For any kid or parent that's having a bit of a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, this book is an instant pick me up. Great for siblings, too!" --Red Tricycle "After reading aloud, listeners might discover their own ways to unbudge curmudgeons."--Publishers Weekly "Playful language and a subtly rhyming text create an enjoyable read-aloud about frustrations and bad moods." --Booklist What do you do with a curmudgeon that just won't budge? Why, shake off the grumpy 'tude and embrace the fun! Have you ever seen a curmudgeon that looks like your brother, but is in such a bad mood you hardly recognize him? You can try all the peanut butter sandwiches and brownies you have, but he is not moving. Nothing works, especially nudging, and he just makes you so grumpy that eventually you have no choice but to fight back--and then... Have you ever become a curmudgeon that just won't budge? Matthew Burgess's playful depiction of bad moods and sibling rivalry is matched perfectly by Fiona Woodcock's unique childlike art style.




The Curmudgeon Woman


Book Description

Curmudgeons have for ages spiked life and literature with barbs and arrows, which are never so sharp as when shot from a woman's sling. From Shakespeare's Shrew to television's Maude, they've added pepper to the often bland stew of human conversation. Organized into 50 broad categories, The Curmudgeon Woman is a collection of 500 quotations from more than 300 razor-witted females. Covering a period from the 1600s to the present, they share their needle-sharp points of view on such engaging topics as aging, happiness, sex, marriage, inequality, fashion, life, and death. Not just funny, not just nasty, The Curmudgeon Woman combines sharp wit with deep truths. With contributions ranging from Minna Antrim (Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.) to Natalie Wood (The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby.), The Curmudgeon Woman displays a wry sense of humor and more wisdom than ought to be allowed.




The Curmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead


Book Description

For those starting out in their careers—and those who wish to advance more quickly—this is a delightfully fussy guide to the hidden rules of the road in the workplace and in life. As bestselling author and social historian Charles Murray explains, at senior levels of an organization there are curmudgeons everywhere, judging your every move. Yet it is their good opinion you need to win if you hope to get ahead. Among the curmudgeon’s day-to-day tips for the workplace: • Excise the word “like” from your spoken English • Don’t suck up • Stop “reaching out” and “sharing” • Rid yourself of piercings, tattoos, and weird hair colors • Make strong language count His larger career advice includes: • What to do if you have a bad boss • Coming to grips with the difference between being nice and being good • How to write when you don’t know what to say • Being judgmental (it’s good, and you don’t have a choice anyway) And on the great topics of life, the curmudgeon urges us to leave home no matter what, get real jobs (not internships), put ourselves in scary situations, and watch Groundhog Day repeatedly (he’ll explain). Witty, wise, and pulling no punches, The Curmudgeon’s Guide to Getting Ahead is an indispensable sourcebook for living an adult life.




Return of the Portable Curmudgeon


Book Description

When turning the other cheek just won't do, try fighting back with the cantankerous remarks of some of the crustiest, grouchiest, and cleverest curmudgeons of all time. Profiles of three world-class wordsmiths--Alexander Woollcott, Oscar Wilde, and Robert Benchley--plus interviews with a variety of caustic commentators make this a collection of barbed remarks second to none.




The Portable Curmudgeon


Book Description

More than 1,000 outrageously irreverent quotations, anecdotes, and interviews on a vast array of subjects, from an illustrious list of world class grouches. “If you can’t say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.”—Alice Roosevelt Longworth




A CURMUDGEON?S COMMENTARY ON THE BOOK OF REVELATION


Book Description

A Curmudgeon's Commentary on the Book of Revelation is both a scholarly and satirical look at one of the Bible's most enigmatic, mystifying, and sometimes even terrifying books. People of all generations have speculated as to the identity of the Beast of Revelation. It was thought that he might be Nero, the papacy, Hitler, Gorbachev, or Saddam Hussein. And writers on the book span the spectrum from Isaac Newton to Edgar Cayce, to D. H. Lawrence, and even to David Koresh. So here's another stab at it this time, however, from a curmudgeon. And if you don't know what that is, look it up!




The (Almost) Complete Hitchhiker in Time


Book Description

The Hitchhiker in Time columns were the single most popular things ever written by Shawn M. Tomlinson, which honestly doesn't say all that much. All together, they appeared in fewer than 10 newspapers between 1988 and 2001. Well, multiple copies of those newspapers, of course. The highest circulation was approximately 40,000, so not exactly Bob Greene levels. Still, Tomlinson had a following with these columns and to a great extent, they hold up well today. Either that or Tomlinson would like to think so. Many of these columns appeared in chapbooks over the years, but this is the first full collection of them to be in print.




Design Your Own Book: Get Started on Your Journey to Self-Publishing


Book Description

You've done it!You've finished your novel (or memoir, or how-to, or poetry collection, etc.).Sit back. Breathe a sigh, take a drink, light a cigar.You've done it!Now what?Usually, an author is so exhilarated by finishing a book that he or she doesn't really think about what's next.Sure, there are those dreams of every publisher knocking at your door, starting a bidding war for your manuscript and your book becoming a best-seller over night.And that can happen. It does occasionally, but more often the hard work still is to come.This book is not for those authors who get an agent who gets them editors who convince their publishers to publish their books.This book is for those intrepid souls who decide the only way to maintain control over their books -- and/or to make more money per book than with a traditional publisher -- is to self-publish.




Curmudgeon in Corduroy


Book Description

Jerry Flemmons' Texas is sometimes a place of sadness, even tragedy, sometimes a place of high jinx and great jokes, but most often, it's a place of vanishing traditions and long-ago days.