Book Description

Making Love, Playing Power; Men, Women, and the Rewards of Intimate Justice brings the cutting edge of relationship therapy to the mass market. Family therapist and organizational consultant Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio debunks superficial theories about communication styles and gender roles as he gets to the real reason so many relationships are in trouble - misuse of power. The reason that men dont listen to women is not because men cant understand what women say. Men dont listen because they can get away with it. Dolan-Del Vecchio reveals how gender, race, sexual orientation, and money set the foundation for personal power, and how power as domination drives most conflicts whether between nations, interest groups, or individuals. What this kind of power never gets anybody, though, is the one thing we all want most - love. Within the field of family therapy, Ken Dolan-Del Vecchios work fuels a growing recognition of fairness as a necessary condition for healing troubled relationships. Men, Women, Love, and Power; Building Couple Partnerships in the 21st Century brings this cutting edge of family therapy to the self-help market. It shows the reader how to solve relationship problems by doing the following; treating one another respectfully listening responsibly selecting the best information sources choosing helping professionals wisely sharing authority and responsibilities fairlyIn a conversational style, Men, Women, Love, and Power draws the reader into a one-on-one dialogue about their relationship. The well-organized format features many chapter subheadings and bulleted lists. Each chapter concludes with ''action steps for men, women, and couples, helping the reader transform understanding into immediate results. Most relationship-help books focus on communication, the talking couples do (or dont do) with one another and the typical conflicts that result. This book digs deeper to show that the changes most couples seek require mutual respect and fairness. Dolan-Del Vecchio shows how these factors set the foundation for all else that happens, including communication. Examples make this connection crystal clear and give the reader new ways of tackling joint decision-making, housework, childcare, grocery shopping, and the activities that keep a couple connected to friends and family. When mutual respect and fairness provide the foundation for a couples partnership, communication falls into place. Making Love, Playing Power reveals how ways of the world that most of us take for granted create conflicts that confuse and exhaust many couples. The book shows how physical, economic, political, emotional, and spiritual power influence the course of couple partnerships, and describes how gender, race, sexual orientation and money shape the power each of us holds and the choices we face every day of our lives.