Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber


Book Description

Sumguyen has always had a thick mane of hair, in the summer of 2016 he decided to grow a beard. Deep into month three he started to look like an armpit with eyeballs.It was a sultry August night in Old Town Scottsdale as Bimisi and Sumguyen made their way from one bar to another. They took pause to to enjoy the rhythms of a homeless crooner who was soulfully picking his guitar. When Sumguyen threw a five into his tip jar the artist looked up, thanked him with a nod and said, "That is a beautiful beard. My friend Brenda has a beard just like that, but hers doesn't talk."A fair amount of beer sprayed from Bimisi's nose...and just like that they had their subject matter for the final book of season one. Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber is the fifth of five books that make up Reach Around Books Season One.




Dee's Big Nuts


Book Description

Sit back and enjoy this children's book parody about a squirrel named Dee and his friends love for his big nuts. Each page will have you laughing and going nuts! This may look like a typical children's book but once the book opens, you will enjoy references that only adults will understand. Dee's Big Nuts makes a great gift for birthdays, anniversaries, bridal shower, wedding gifts, housewarming gifts or just a great gift to make a friend or loved one giggle in laughter.




My Uncle Jack's Off


Book Description

Hot dogs, pimps, elephants and crime. These things have absolutely nothing to do with this epic twisted tale, but you have to admit they're pretty attention grabbing, right?!? Bored of reading the same old hum-drum books about superheroes, lawn furniture and how to grow the best cheese log? My Uncle Jack's Off is a one-of-a-kind tale with a ham-fisted, adult-focused tone that will have you laughing out loud with every turn of the page until your belly aches. The best part? You'll know your stomach hurts from laughter and not tapeworms! Here are just a few of the thought-provoking things world-renown book critics have had to say about My Uncle Jack's Off "I used my left hand to turn the pages instead of my right and it was like sharing an unforgettable experience with a stranger." - Rosie Palmer "I've heard some tall tales, but Uncle Jack has a story so big you may not be able to take it all at once." - D.T. Sanchez "My favorite part was the check I received for this endorsement" - Handsomely compensated reader who wishes to remain anonymous "Finally, a story that the common unicyclist can relate to" - Gary the Unicyclist "[Shakes book...] How do I get the sound out?" - Reginald, the guy down the block who confuses audio with print "I find this book VERY hard to put down!" - Prank victim who got his hand superglued to the book "It's the perfect length. What they say is true... size matters." - A guy obsessed with tape measurers. Why, what'd you think? This book gives you all the raucous fun you can handle without being committed for excessive laughter. Perfect for late-night bedtime stories, bar mitzvahs, propping up a coffee table leg, surprise parties for the elderly, as a replacement for a toaster manual, or even light bathroom reading, it's time you saw Uncle Jack's Off for yourself. Pick up a copy of My Uncle Jack's Off by clicking "Add to Cart" above. You'll love the side-splitting story, hidden pictures, and one man's epic climax to fun.




The Sign of the Beaver


Book Description

A 1984 Newbery Honor Book Although he faces responsibility bravely, thirteen-year-old Matt is more than a little apprehensive when his father leaves him alone to guard their new cabin in the wilderness. When a renegade white stranger steals his gun, Matt realizes he has no way to shoot game or to protect himself. When Matt meets Attean, a boy in the Beaver clan, he begins to better understand their way of life and their growing problem in adapting to the white man and the changing frontier. Elizabeth George Speare’s Newbery Honor-winning survival story is filled with wonderful detail about living in the wilderness and the relationships that formed between settlers and natives in the 1700s. Now with an introduction by Joseph Bruchac.




How the Crayons Saved the Unicorn


Book Description

Can a lost box of crayons help a lonely unicorn regain his color? A shy unicorn has a hard time making friends. In his sadness, his colors start to fade away until they are gone completely. Worrying that he may never get back his colors or make true friends, the unicorn finds himself lost and alone. It is not until he comes across a group of spunky crayons that his world changes. The crayons band together to help their new friend get back his colors, and in the process play and have fun. The crayons’ helping generosity and friendship may just be what the unicorn has been missing! How the Crayons Saved the Unicorn is the all-new, colorful friendship book from the plucky crayons who brought you How the Crayons Saved the Rainbow. How the Crayons Saved the Unicorn teaches the importance of friendship and self-confidence through seven crayons with unique personalities and their hopes to help a friend in need.




Stink-o-saurus


Book Description

Hilariously read by the internet sensation 'The Scottish Granny'! Stan was a rare dinosaur, a one of a kind. Most ROARED from their front, HIS roar came from his BEHIND! You'll split your pants laughing at Stan, the world's only STINK-O-SAURUS. But can his stinky antics save the day and keep Tommy T-Rex far away?




Arkansas in Ink


Book Description

In 1837 Representative Joseph J. Anthony stabs the speaker of the house to death during a debate about wolf pelts. In 1899 Hot Springs police shoot it out with the county sheriffs over control of illegal gambling. In 1974 President Richard Nixon resigns in part due to the outspokenness of Pine Bluff native Martha Mitchell. In this special print project of the online Encyclopedia of Arkansas History & Culture, legendary cartoonist Ron Wolfe brings these and many other stories to life. Accompanied by selected entries from the encyclopedia, Wolfe’s cartoons highlight the oddities and absurdities of our state’s history. Seriously, you couldn’t make up this stuff.




JiggleWiggleTicklePickle


Book Description

"You can keep the change"--Sumguyen to cashierSumguyen and Bimisi made the fiscally responsible decision to call in sick for a couple days and take advantage of the coveted free passes to the Las Vegas Adult Expo they were given by a scantily clad marketing rep in an Apache Junction bar the night before.They stopped in Wikiup, AZ for $14 worth of gas and a road soda. Sumguyen watched as a biker chick reached deep into the jar of pickles displayed on the counter. She was in elbow deep and was fishing for the largest of those brined beauties. As she clutched the winning pickle in her teeth she started counting out bills with her still dripping hand. Sumguyen knew those bills would be in his change, he slapped down a twenty and walked out the door.The treasures he might encounter at the Adult Expo and that monster Gherkin in a biker chick's mouth made for a strange and conflicting combination of thoughts...the fourth book of Season Two was conceived over the next 28 miles.




Who Will Help Jack Off the Horse?


Book Description

"...and of course the whimsical poetic meter known as iambic tetrameter is no more capable of exclusive ownership than the air we all breath."--Bimisi to Theodor Seuss GeislIt is entirely possible to wake up in the morning with no intention of learning anything at all, but learning something substantial, nonetheless. It was a typical Wednesday afternoon at their favorite dive bar. Bimisi and Sumguyen were sparring, via a spirited match of online trivia, with patrons of a similar dive bar in another part of the world...a part of the world where it most likely was not still Wednesday afternoon. The final question...at least the last question they heard before scrambling for a pen and paper to get to work on their first parody was this:Madonna, Michael Jackson and _____ are the only 3 artists who have had a top 40 hit in 4 different decades.ANSWER: Weird Al Yankovic