How to Hold a Grudge


Book Description

NAMED ONE OF THE 100 MUST-READ BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY TIME MAGAZINE “A cheerful, mischievous rebuke to all that spiritual sincerity and floaty nonattachment and sugary loving kindness” (The Wall Street Journal), this first and only comprehensive examination of the universal, but widely misunderstood, practice of grudge-holding will show you how to use grudges to be your happiest, most optimistic, and most forgiving self. Secretly, we all hold grudges, but most of us probably think we shouldn’t, and many of us deny that we do. To bear a grudge is too negative, right? Shouldn’t we just forgive and move on? Wrong, says prolific crime novelist and self-appointed grudge guru Sophie Hannah, in her groundbreaking and irreverent self-help guide. Yes, it’s essential to think positively if we want to live happy lives, but even more crucial is how we get to the positive. Denying our negative emotions and experiences is likely to lead only to more pain, conflict, and stress. What if our grudges are good for us? What if we could embrace them, and use them to help ourselves and others, instead of feeling ashamed of our inability to banish negative emotions and memories from our lives? With contributions from expert psychotherapists as well as extracts from her own extensive catalog of grudges, Sophie Hannah investigates the psychological origins of grudges and also offers not-so-obvious insights into how we should acknowledge—and embrace—them in order to improve the quality of our interpersonal relationships and senses of self. Grudges do not have to fill us with hate or make us toxic, bitter, and miserable. If we approach the practice of grudge-holding in an enlightened way, it will do the opposite—we will become more forgiving. For fans of Sophie Hannah’s bestselling crime novels who have ever wondered what is going on in her unusual, brilliant mind, How to Hold a Grudge is “a perfect document” (The New York Times) that also reveals everything we need to know about the many different forms of grudge, the difference between a grudge and not-a-grudge (not as obvious as it seems), when we should let a grudge go, and how to honor a grudge and distill lessons from it. Hannah’s practical, compassionate, and downright funny guide can turn us into better, happier people.




Stop Playing Safe


Book Description

Tap the power of courage and achieve greater clarity, confidence, and satisfaction in your work and life Tap in to the inspirational motivation of best-selling author, life coach and media personality, Margie Warrell. Stop Playing Safe is a call to action for anyone who has ever felt that their work was not revealing their true potential for personal progression and career development. It will give you the conviction and courage to become bolder in your career, to perform better and enjoy your work more. Margie points out that ‘fear’ seems to be our new state of ‘normal’ as we deal with economic uncertainty, job insecurity and constant change management in the workplace. In times like these, all our instincts tell us to play safe and avoid risk. Yet courage and bold action are the keys to reaping the rewards of exceptional success in your career. Supported by case studies, insights and advice from a range of high-profile Australian and international entrepreneurs, Stop Playing Safe shares tactics you can put into practice to achieve personal fulfilment and professional success. It will help you clarify your career purpose and maximise your work value. It offers solutions for dealing with change management and will encourage you to pursue your career goals with renewed vigour and empowerment. Margie Warrell grew up on a dairy farm in rural Australia and has lived in the US She is the best-selling author of Find Your Courage and CEO of Global Courage Her clients include the United Nations Foundation, NASA, Ernst & Young, Bechtel, Best Buy, Accenture, AOL, Covidien, ADT, United Healthcare, and ExxonMobil You will keep coming back to this book as you move forward in your career, using it as a ready reference to progress through each stage and tackle each new challenge. "Adapting to change an taking chances are critical to your success. This book will help you with both. Get it, read it, enjoy the results." – Jon Gordon, author of The Energy Bus and The Seed. “Stop Playing Safe will help you harness the courage to take the risks that make sense-and give you the success you want." - Randy Gage, Author of Risky Is the New Safe “Practical, powerful, and inspiring. In uncertain times, it's a guidebook you can't afford not to read as it spells out exactly how to handle your challenges and find the confidence to speak up, adapt and get ahead in the new economy. Everyone in your company should read it!" - Suzi Pomerantz, author, Master coach, and CEO of Innovative Leadership International. “Stop Playing Safe is one of those rare books that is at once original, inspirational, and above all, useful.” - Bill Treasurer, President of Giant Leap Consulting and author, Courage Goes to Work. "Stop Playing Safe provides a roadmap to navigate uncertainty and find the courage to create meaningful changes in your workplace, career and life." - Rebecca Heino, Professor of Management, McDonough School of Business, Georgetown University “Margie Warrell provides powerful and practical advice for overcoming our innate fear of risk and vulnerability. It bears reading and re-reading for all who strive to become their best selves." - Dr Gordon Livingston, Author of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart "Margie is a true expert on the science of success. Her new book is both inspiring and practical. It's a powerful manual for creating the life of your dreams.” - Siimon Reynolds, author of Why People Fail




The Healthy Compulsive


Book Description

Gary Trosclair explores the power of the driven personality and the positive outcomes those with obsessive compulsive personality disorder can achieve through a mindful program of harnessing the skills that can work, and altering those that serve no one. If you were born with a compulsive personality you may become rigid, controlling, and self-righteous. But you also may become productive, energetic, and conscientious. Same disposition, but very different ways of expressing it. What determines the difference? Some of the most successful and happy people in the world are compelled by powerful inner urges that are almost impossible to resist. They’re compulsive. They’re driven. But some people with a driven personality feel compelled by shame or insecurity to use their compulsive energy to prove their worth, and they lose control of the wheel of their own life. They become inflexible and critical perfectionists who need to wield control, and they lose the point of everything they do in the process. A healthy compulsive is one whose energy and talents for achievement are used consciously in the service of passion, love and purpose. An unhealthy compulsive is one whose energy and talents for achievement have been hijacked by fear and its henchman, anger. Both are driven: one by meaning, the other by dread. The Healthy Compulsive: Healing Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder and Taking the Wheel of the Driven Personality, will serve as the ultimate user’s guide for those with a driven personality, including those who have slid into obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD). Unlike OCD, which results in specific symptoms such as repetitive hand-washing and intrusive thoughts, OCPD permeates the entire personality and dramatically affects relationships. It also requires a different approach to healing. Both scientifically informed and practical, The Healthy Compulsive describes how compulsives get off track and outlines a four-step program to help them consciously cultivate the talents and passions that are the truly compelling sources of the driven personality. Drawing from his 25 years of clinical experience as a psychotherapist and Jungian psychoanalyst, and his own personal experience as someone with a driven personality, Trosclair offers understanding, inspiring stories of change, and hope to compulsives and their partners about how to move to the healthy end of the compulsive spectrum.




The Dance of Anger


Book Description

The renowned classic and New York Times bestseller that has transformed the lives of millions of readers, dramatically changing how women and men view relationships. Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception. "Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change. For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation.




The Forgiveness Tour


Book Description

How Apologies Can Help You Move Forward With Your Life “To err is human; to forgive divine.” But what if the person who hurt you most refuses to apologize or express any regret? That’s the question haunting Manhattan journalist Susan Shapiro when her trusted advisor of fifteen years repeatedly lies to her. Stunned by the betrayal, she can barely eat or sleep. She’s always seen herself as big-hearted and benevolent, someone who will forgive anyone anything - as long as they’re remorseful. Yet the addiction specialist who helped her quit smoking, drinking and drugs after decades of self-destruction won’t explain – or stop - his ongoing deceit, leaving her blindsided. Her crisis management strategy is becoming her crisis. To protect her sanity and sobriety, Shapiro ends their relationship and vows they’ll never speak again. Yet ghosting him doesn’t end her distress. She has screaming arguments with him in her mind, relives their fallout in panicked nightmares and even lights a candle, chanting a secret Yiddish curse to exact revenge. In her entrancing, heartfelt new memoir The Forgiveness Tour: How to Find the Perfect Apology, Shapiro wrestles with how to exonerate someone who can’t cough up a measly “my bad” or mumble “mea culpa.” Seeking wisdom, she explores the billion-dollar Forgiveness Industry touting the personal benefits of absolution, where the only choice on every channel is: radical forgiveness. She fears it’s all bullshit. Desperate for enlightenment, she surveys her old rabbis, as well as religious leaders from every denomination. Unable to reconcile all the confusing abstractions, she embarks on a cross country journey where she interviews people who suffered unforgivable wrongs that were never atoned: victims of genocides, sexual assault, infidelity, cruelty and racism. A Holocaust survivor in D.C. admits he’s thrived from spite. A Michigan man meets with the drunk driver who killed his wife and children. A daughter in Seattle grapples with her mother - who stayed married to the father who raped her. Knowing their estrangement isn’t her fault, a Florida mom spends eight years apologizing to her son anyway -with surprising results. Does love mean forever having to say you’re sorry? Critics praised Shapiro’s previous memoir Lighting Up: How I Stopped Smoking, Drinking and Everything Else I Loved in Life Except Sex as fiercely honest, fascinating, funny and “a mind-bendingly good read.” Now the bestselling author and popular writing professor returns with a darker, wiser follow up, addressing the universal enigma of blind forgiving. Shapiro’s brilliant new gurus sooth her broken psyche and answer her burning mystery: How can you forgive someone without an apology? Does she? Should you?




Find Your Courage


Book Description

"An up-front, to the point, and honest masterpiece. You can't go wrong with this one!"—Richard Carlson, bestselling author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff . . . From popular life coach and motivational speaker Margie Warrell comes an inspiring, practical guide for finding the courage to change any--or every--aspect of your life. Warrell's "12 Acts of Courage" challenges you to rethink your "life scripts," overcome everyday fears, and dream bigger. Each chapter includes proven strategies and "Courage Exercises" to help you harness their inner strength and make meaningful changes in your personal and professional lives.




The Victim's Cry


Book Description

The cry of a victim's heart is to be heard, understood, and free from their pain. God listens to the victim's cry. This book describes the practical steps God established to help hurting people identify and release offenses, judgments, and disappointments in order to bring hope and healing to their hearts.




The Forgiving Self


Book Description

A fascinating book about our struggle to forgive—and how we can—from a renowned psychologist and award-winning author. Why do we harden our hearts, even against those we want to love? Why do we find it so hard to admit being wrong? Why are the worst grudges the ones we hold against ourselves? When we nurse our resentments, Robert Karen says, we are acting from an insecure aspect of the self that harbors unresolved pain from childhood. But we also have a forgiving self which is not compliant or fake, but rather the strongest, most loving part of who we are. Through it, we are able to voice anger without doing damage, to acknowledge our own part in what has gone wrong, to see the flaws in ourselves and others as part of our humanity. Using movies, people in the news, and sessions from his practice, Karan illuminate how we can move beyond our feelings of being wronged without betraying our legitimate anger and need for repair. The forgiving self, when we are able to locate it, brings relief from compulsive self-hatred and bitterness, and allows for a re-emergence of love.




The Lady In The Mirror


Book Description

About the book: Do you know what you really are? Or has life not tested you yet! 8 stories 8 situations 8 emotions Lata is quintessential Indian housewife. How come her blissful life got disturbed by all but a gentle sermon? The handsome Piyush had the world at his feet and yet his world was empty! Meera, an IAS officer, was living her dream but why wasn’t she happy? Centuries ago, Ila the Playwright, found happiness in pursuing her passion but why was this a bane to many? What happens when your subconscious tries to pass on a message? Hurt and pain helped Madhav become a millionaire. How would be come to terms when he realizes that it was not him that was wronged but it was he who was wrong. Meera is a budding comedian, but a great tragedy befalls her. Would she be able to hold her own in adverse circumstances? Kapil found liberation in his quest for knowledge, but would his daughter follow his lead ? Explore Greed (via Manifestation of God), Unspoken words (via The Last Confession), Internal Conflict (via The Lost Meera), Self-Belief (via The Mysterious Playwright), Subconscious-self (via Three of Him), Love (via Madhav and Meera), Jealousy (via The Comic’s Tragedy) and Freedom (via Life goes in a circle). About the Author: “An architect by education, software engineer by profession and a writer by choice.” Charu was born in UK (Belfast), and brought up in Roorkee, India. From an early age, she was enchanted by the campus of University of Roorkee, where her father worked as a professor. She harbored a dream to get into the esteemed Roorkee University. In 2001, she realized her long cherished dream and obtained admission to IIT Roorkee. After completing her graduation in architecture from IIT Roorkee, Charu worked for Tata Consultancy at Noida for 3 years and then moved to Miami, USA, to work for a luxury cruise liner. The 2 years spent at Miami were interesting and it was here that Charu met her future husband Rachit Gulati, another fellow TCSer. Charu moved her base back to India in 2011 and she starting working for American Express as a Senior Program Analyst. She worked at Royal Bank of Scotland as Senior Software Professional in Gurgaon for over 6 years. Currently she is working as a Senior Manager (IT) at Max Life Insurance. Charu is married and lives in a joint family, which includes Grandma-in-law, parents in law, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, niece, nephew, husband and daughter. She takes a keen interest in Indian mythology and loves reading out stories from ancient lore to the kids at home. She is a Hindu, but is also intrigued by Buddhism. She is a follower of Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism and is a member of Soka Gakkai International (SGI), an association promoting values of Buddhism: peace and respect for all people. Her other interests include reading, writing and public speaking (She is a Toastmaster International Certified Advanced Communicator Bronze and is her working her way up to obtain Distinguished Toastmaster’s badge). She is an avid reader and a blogger. In 2015, she published a self-help ebook at Amazon titled, “Tip the Skin!” Literary zine “Invincible” has been publishing a few of her blog posts in print since May 2018. Her blog: http://lifeinthehooterville.blogspot.in/ Achievements: l She was declared the first runner up in 2017 edition of NUHA Global Blogging Competition. l She won second prize in Toastmasters District level impromptu speaking competition in 2017 and was a finalist at District Toastmasters Humorous speech competition the same year. The District consists of all Toastmasters clubs from North India, Nepal, Bhutan and Bangladesh. l She was one of the highly recommended authors at Bharat Award for literature-4th Short Story contest conducted by poiesisonline.com. l She was amongst the top 25 in the first edition of YES I WRITE Corporate Short Shory Contest organized by StoryMirror. The Contest saw participation from over 5000 corporate employees.




Embitterment


Book Description

Embitterment is a distinct state of mood known to everyone. It can be seen in the context of exceptional though “normal” negative life events. It is an emotional reaction e.g. to humiliation, to being severely disappointed by others, or to violations of basic values. Embitterment is accompanied by other emotions like feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, poor moods and a lack of drive, and aggression towards oneself and others. It can end in suicide or even murder-suicide and in a distinct pathological state known as “Posttraumatic Embitterment Disorder (PTED)”. But despite the high prevalence rates, the detrimental effects on individuals and its forensic and societal importance, embitterment has yet to receive due scientific attention. In this book pioneers in embitterment research summarize the current knowledge on embitterment, its triggers, phenomenology and consequences. The work is intended to stimulate international debate and to contribute to a better understanding of embitterment and a deeper appreciation of the impact of exceptional but normal negative life events on psychological well-being.