Cat Catalog


Book Description

Historical cat, mystical, artistic, well-bred, public, physical, passionate, healthy, well fed, medical, performing, private, legal and consuming cat.







The Ultimate Cats' Catalog


Book Description

What self-respecting feline wouldn't be proud to display a Mounted Fake Rottweiler Head in the family room or den? Order yours now from The Ultimate Cats' Catalog! Use your human's credit card to avoid delays. Operators are standing by." The Ultimate Cats' Catalog pokes fun at the concept of cats as consumers. Products offered in this mock catalog range from the silly to the grotesque, with hilarious full-color photographs and illustrations. From the comfort and convenience of her own home, kitty can order the Endless Curtain, a set of 50-foot-long drapes mounted on a roll that will enable her to have a continual supply of fresh curtain on which to sharpen her claws. Or she can choose the Temperature-Controlled Mouse Cellar, perfect for storing dead dry-iced mice under ideal conditions to keep them fresh for months on end, offered in a variety of sizes and configurations. Glamour-Cat© Whisker Extensions will surely appeal to any cat's vanity, as they are available in multiple colors and come in Alley Cat or Vamp lengths. And for the carrion connoisseur who's stuck in the city, the Urban Cat's Roadkill Press adds "real highway taste and texture" to the catch of the day. In a world where cat owners can actually buy such real products as Halloween costumes, greeting cards, and gourmet baked goods created just for felines, The Ultimate Cats' Catalog is a hilarious, tongue-in-cheek gift for people who indulge their cats.




Classed List


Book Description







Catalog and Other Cat Scratchings!


Book Description

This little book is a series of short but connected compositions all falling within a single unifying, common category – Cats! My original, 1982 book titled Light and Dark had contained a fourteen page subsection I called “Catalog” . It consisted of a richly rhyme-ripened account of an amorous Tomcat and his major affairs and misadventures with some thirteen of his principal “lady loves” It was a fun collection both to write and to read to others and even came to briefly enjoy a limited existence as a small gift size booklet in the promotional service of its larger parental volume. In that capacity, it had a rather mixed measure of success. This was almost certainly due to an irrefutable fact about cats. Even in their most congenially conceived and sympathetically anthropomorphized imagined manifestations they still belong to that finically unique “cat” category. And it’s a category which they are reluctant to share especially in any context involving the least degree of doggerel! Seriously though, within this small collection you’ll encounter a quite varied offering of feminine felines including: Joyce with her golden Rolls Royce of a voice; Elaine who always seemed pooped and had whiskers that drooped as if they’d been in the rain; Jenny the jumping “gymnat” cat; Cleo, a crazy little Calico who proved that unlike a book you can tell a cat by its cover; and Louise, a Siamese whose oriental flea powder always made him sneeze, among others. In other, later penned cat poems found here you’ll discover all the distinguishing differences between Chinese acupuncture and “attack-you-puncture” as practiced by the Siamese as well as the comparing of bathing practices by dogs and cats, and even learn from no less an authority than Professor Chessor Katz just why cats so rarely smile! And it all concludes with a prose piece about a strange kind of “daydream” involving a very curious conversation with Mark Twain.







Annual Catalogue


Book Description