Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang


Book Description

In these personal essays, the hilarious comedian and Chelsea Lately host reflects on family, love life, and the absurdities of adulthood with "cheeky candor" and signature wit (Philadelphia Inquirer). Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is good good good good! Chelsea Handler on . . . Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."




Chelsea FC: The Official Biography


Book Description

CHELSEA FC: THE OFFICIAL BIOGRAPHY goes to the heart of what gives the club its personality. The author has access to all the key characters, including Mourinho, Abramovich and the star players, plus legendary names of the past. He addresses all the controversies, including: the near suffocation through lack of cash in the 1970s and in 2002; the impact of Abramovich's money; the club and fans' response to racism; how the hooliganism which dogged Chelsea for years has been tackled. On the lighter side, Chelsea is regarded as the country's glamour club, and fashions, good and dreadful, will feature alongside celebrity fans and the worlds of art and music. And then there is the football at the core of it all, creating moments of huge tension and excitement.




Chelsea Football Club


Book Description

The history of Chelsea features glamour, controversy, hooligans, high and low fashion, huge excitement on the pitch and terrible disappointments. In the Chelsea FC: The Official Biography, Rick Glanvill brought the century of the UK's highest profile club to life in words. In this pictorial history, he has researched never-before-made-public images to show the breadth of the club's 100 years in photographs. Fully integrated and highly designed, with over 200 colour and black and white photographs and fascinating accompanying text on the story of the club, The Official History in Pictures offers all fans, and anyone with an interest in the biggest story in British football, unforgettable images and legendary faces from the past 100 years.




Chelsea's Story


Book Description

Chelsea's worried she'll make an idiot of herself learning kickboxing, but she's tired of feeling invisible around her friends. And when she overhears something she shouldn't at the gym, looking foolish suddenly doesn't seem like the worst thing that could happen... Join Kai, Lena, Chelsea, and Sanjay as they struggle with friendship, family and growing up. Welcome to The Street! Bloomsbury High Low books encourage and support reading practice by providing gripping, age-appropriate stories for struggling and reluctant readers, those with dyslexia, or those with English as an additional language. Printed on tinted paper and with a dyslexia friendly font, The Street is aimed at readers aged 12+ and has a manageable length (80 pages) and reading age (9+). This collection of stories can be read in any order. Book band: Brown




The Chelsea Girls


Book Description

The bright lights of the theater district, the glamour and danger of 1950s New York, and the wild scene at the iconic Chelsea Hotel come together in a dazzling new novel about a twenty-year friendship that will irrevocably change two women's lives—from the New York Times bestselling author of The Lions of Fifth Avenue. From the dramatic redbrick facade to the sweeping staircase dripping with art, the Chelsea Hotel has long been New York City's creative oasis for the many artists, writers, musicians, actors, filmmakers, and poets who have called it home—a scene playwright Hazel Riley and actress Maxine Mead are determined to use to their advantage. Yet they soon discover that the greatest obstacle to putting up a show on Broadway has nothing to do with their art, and everything to do with politics. A Red Scare is sweeping across America, and Senator Joseph McCarthy has started a witch hunt for communists, with those in the entertainment industry in the crosshairs. As the pressure builds to name names, it is more than Hazel and Maxine's Broadway dreams that may suffer as they grapple with the terrible consequences, but also their livelihood, their friendship, and even their freedom. Spanning from the 1940s to the 1960s, The Chelsea Girls deftly pulls back the curtain on the desperate political pressures of McCarthyism, the complicated bonds of female friendship, and the siren call of the uninhibited Chelsea Hotel.




Chelsea's Doom


Book Description

At seventeen, Chelsea King is kidnapped while walking to a friends house in a small Wyoming town. Ransom does not seem to be the reason for her kidnapping, nor does rape. Days later, she begins to understand that the men who hold her are members of a mafia. The man who ordered her abduction wants nothing more than to see her die. It is only her kidnappers growing infatuation for her that keeps this from happening. Chelsea is locked inside a luxurious apartment, surrounded by men of the mafia, many of them vulgar and cruel. One of them belongs to a sinister cult and wishes to use her as a human sacrifice. Another runs an exclusive gambling establishment that conveniently supplies customers with young, pretty girls. Escape comes welcome but unexpected, yet Chelsea is not happy. She is torn between love for her family and love for the gangster who once stole her. When he falls into danger she is faced with a difficult decision. Is she brave enough to risk her freedom in order to save him?




Chelsea Girls


Book Description

Available once again for a new generation of readers, the groundbreaking and candid coming-of-age novel in-real-time from one of America's most celebrated poets that is considered a cult classic. In this breathtakingly inventive autobiographical novel, Eileen Myles transforms life into a work of art. Told in her audacious voice, made vivid and immediate in her lyrical language, Chelsea Girls cobbles together memories of Myles’ 1960s Catholic upbringing with an alcoholic father, her volatile adolescence, her unabashed “lesbianity,” and her riotous pursuit of survival as a poet in 1970s New York. Suffused with alcohol, drugs, and sex; evocative in its depictions of the hardscrabble realities of a young artist’s life; and poignant with stories of love, humor, and discovery, Chelsea Girls is a funny, cool, and intimate account of a writer’s education, and a modern chronicle of how a young female writer shrugged off the chains of a rigid cultural identity meant to define her.




Chelsea's Cult Heroes


Book Description

Chelsea Cult Heroes recounts the careers of 20 of the club's greatest icons, men who entertained, week in, week out and regularly set fans' pulses racing. Each individual biography analyses each player's career, and examines exactly each player was idolised and how they achieved cult status. Featuring Willy Foulke, George Hilsdon, Hughie Gallacher, Roy Bentley, Eric Parsons, Jimmy Greaves, Bobby Tambling, Ron Harris, Peter Osgood,Charlie Cooke, Alan Hudson, Ray Wilkins, Micky Droy, Joey Jones, Pat Nevin, Kerry Dixon, Dennis Wise, Ruud Gullit, Gianfranco Zola and John Terry.Key features- Part of the popular and successful Cult Heroes series which features a number of football clubs- Features 20 of Chelsea Football Club's most iconic players of all time- Details their careers, their impact on the club and the reasons why they were such cult figures- Includes contemporary and historic images of those legendary figures featured- Written by respected football author Leo Moynihan




Chelsea's Cheerleading Squad


Book Description

Real-life situations and relatable narratives guide math students through the fundamentals of algebra, which is an essential part of second-grade math. Readers will learn the skills needed to fluently add and subtract, while also building a foundation for the more complex skills that will be needed at higher levels of education. Engaging visuals complement high-interest topics, while visually appealing designs help to make the math concrete. Readers practice their addition skills as they follow a relatable girl though her year as a cheerleader. This volume meets CCSS Math Standard 2.OA.B.2.




Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea


Book Description

In a word: hilarious. . . . These are some of the funniest stories I have ever read and they're also some of the most unexpectedly heartfelt--Laura Zigman, author of "Animal Husbandry."