ClownFellas


Book Description

“Carlton Mellick III goes past silly, through weird, detours around dumb, blasts through bizarre, and gets to a place where the normal physics of narrative no longer apply. You will never be the same.”—Cory Doctorow, author of Little Brother and Homeland In a topsy-turvy world where clowns are killers and crooks, Little Bigtop is a three-ring circus of crime, and no syndicate is more dangerous than the Binzo family. From the wildly original mind of Carlton Mellick III comes the short-story collection ClownFellas—an epic mob saga where life is cheap and the gags will slay you. For years, the hard-boiled capos of the Binzo family have run all of the funny business in Little Bigtop, from the clown brothels to the illegal comedy trade. But hard times have befallen the Binzos now that Le Mystère, the French clown Mafia, has started moving in and trying to take over the city. If that weren’t enough, they’ve got to deal with the cops, the Feds, the snitches, the carnies, the mysterious hit man Mr. Pogo, and the mutant clowns over in the Sideshow district. With the odds stacked against them, the Binzos must fight to survive . . . or die laughing. Praise for ClownFellas “Mario Puzo meets Barnum & Bailey . . . You just can’t look away as the ridiculousness escalates.”—Publishers Weekly “The most original novelist working today? The most outrageous? The most unpredictable? These aren’t easy superlatives to make; however, Carlton Mellick may well be all of those things, behind a canon of books that all irreverently depart from the form and concepts of traditional novels, and adventure the reader into a howling, dark fantasyland of the most bizarre, over-the-top, and mind-warping inventiveness. In my opinion, ClownFellas is his best work to date.”—Edward Lee, author of City Infernal and Header “I rarely enjoy clowns—which is ironic since I’ve been one for over four decades—but ClownFellas is great on so many levels, irony being one of them. What can I say besides I love it! Great read, and funny as hell . . . I have been accused of being unfunny before, and after the trial I had to enter the Witless Protection Program. This is funny!”—Barry Lubin, aka Grandma, longtime Big Apple Circus clown “If Martin Scorsese and Ronald McDonald had a baby, this would be it. . . . Each story is clever, multi-layered, and filled with witty dialogue. . . . A must-read.”—This Is Horror “Mellick’s writing is wonderfully descriptive and wildly imaginative. . . . I was utterly delighted, amused, and engrossed. . . . ClownFellas is a gem!”—The Qwillery “A rollercoaster ride through a strange world that borders on our own reality . . . a story that is just as difficult to define as it is to put down.”—Examiner.com “Mellick has created another amazing read. . . . Highly recommended.”—Kitty Horror




Del Rey and Bantam Books 2015 Sampler


Book Description

Visionary new worlds come to life once again in this eBook sampler featuring thirty-one excerpts from Del Rey and Bantam Books! Collected here are hints of the best science fiction and fantasy on offer today, from modern classics to bleeding-edge bestsellers. Maybe the hit Starz series has you curious about Diana Gabaldon’s genre-defying Outlander, or The Shannara Chronicles has inspired you to dive into the timeless fantasy novels of Terry Brooks. Maybe you’re a Star Wars fan who can’t wait to take the journey to The Force Awakens. Maybe you’ve heard a lot about Pierce Brown’s The Red Rising Trilogy, Kevin Hearne’s The Iron Druid Chronicles, or Peter V. Brett’s The Demon Cycle and wish to take a sneak peek. Whatever the reason, you’ve come to the right place. Because this year’s sampler is bigger and better than ever! Featuring provocative work from New York Times bestselling stalwarts like Scott Sigler, Harry Turtledove, and China Miéville alongside rising stars like C. A. Higgins, Sylvain Neuvel, and Carlton Mellick III, this eBook sampler shows you the future of fiction. Within are excerpts of: THE ABYSS BEYOND DREAMS by Peter F. Hamilton ALIVE by Scott Sigler ASSASSIN’S APPRENTICE by Robin Hobb BOMBS AWAY by Harry Turtledove CHILDREN OF FIRE by Drew Karpyshyn CLASH OF EAGLES by Alan Smale CLOWNFELLAS by Carlton Mellick III CONSUMPTION by Heather Herrman THE ELFSTONES OF SHANNARA by Terry Brooks EMERGENCE: DAVE VS. THE MONSTERS by John Birmingham GREEN EARTH by Kim Stanley Robinson HALF A KING by Joe Abercrombie THE HAMMER AND THE BLADE by Paul S. Kemp HIS MAJESTY’S DRAGON by Naomi Novik HOUNDED by Kevin Hearne THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA by Scott Lynch LIESMITH by Alis Franklin LIGHTLESS by C. A. Higgins MERCY HOUSE by Adam Cesare OLD VENUS, edited by George R. R. Martin and Gardner Dozois OUTLANDER by Diana Gabaldon RED RISING by Pierce Brown THE SHADOW REVOLUTION: CROWN & KEY by Clay Griffith and Susan Griffith SLEEPING GIANTS by Sylvain Neuvel STAR WARS: A NEW DAWN by John Jackson Miller STAR WARS: DARK DISCIPLE by Christie Golden STAR WARS: LORDS OF THE SITH by Paul S. Kemp THREE MOMENTS OF AN EXPLOSION by China Miéville UPROOTED by Naomi Novik THE WARDED MAN by Peter V. Brett ZERO WORLD by Jason M. Hough




Adventures in Clowning


Book Description

Delight in a rare inside look as professional clowns share their most gratifying and challenging experiences.




Satan Burger (15th Anniversary Edition)


Book Description

When Satan Burger was first being passed around among teenage punks and fans of weird art and film, there was nothing else like it. A book of rebellious spirit that simplistically captured the postmodern malaise of a culture obsessed with consumerism. It quickly gained an underground following, was transcribed by fans and bootlegged online, was translated into Russian and made its way around the world attracting the attention of readers bored with typical mainstream fare. Combining a satirical wit and style on par with legendary humorists such as Kurt Vonnegut and Russell Edson with the crazy punk ethos of cult film directors such as Terry Gilliam, David Lynch, and Takashi Miike, this was a book overflowing with so many new ideas and absurd philosophies that it not only launched the career of underground author Carlton Mellick III, but inspired an entire literary movement. For the fifteenth anniversary of the release of this Bizarro Fiction classic, Eraserhead Press is thrilled to present this special hardcover edition, featuring an introduction by splatterpunk legend John Skipp, illustrations by Ryan Ward, and a new preface by the author. Satan Burger explores a new kind of apocalypse. Not an apocalypse caused by disease or nuclear war, but an apocalypse of boredom. A plague of monotony has spread across the countryside, sucking all passion and inspiration out of everyone over the age of twenty-five, leaving only the disenfranchised youth to fend for themselves in a world crumbling around them. Featuring a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive and running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, a race of women who feed on male orgasms, and a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn't want them anymore.




Streets of Fire and Shadow


Book Description

15 intriguing Urban Fantasy tales. Written by wizards... intended for muggles. This collection of fresh voices features paranormal investigators and jazz-loving demons, dragons and the supernatural, gods in Chicago and killer clowns. Each author in this collection has a wealth of additional stories, meaning this is just the beginning. Pick it up now… and enter a new and fantastic world!




The Haunted Vagina


Book Description

Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy's pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees. When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return... especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy's legs.




Full Metal Octopus


Book Description

For almost 20 years, Carlton Mellick III has been writing some of the strangest and most compelling novels the bizarro fiction genre has to offer. Described as one of the top 40 science-fiction writers under the age of 40 by The Guardian and "one of the most original novelists working today" by extreme horror legend Edward Lee, Mellick returns with an erotic urban fantasy crime novel about love and violence, sex and sexuality, oppression and overcoming impossible odds. Welcome to Grub Town, the most corrupt city in America. A place where gutter punk mermaids swim in sewage-filled canals, fairy prostitutes hang in birdcages on every street corner, and yakuza elves run everything behind the scenes. Eliot is the most beautiful fairy in all of the city with his dazzling emerald green butterfly wings that make everyone who sees them fall instantly in lust with him. But it's more of a curse than a blessing. Forced to hide his wings in public in order to avoid the constant sexual harassment, Eliot only finds solace when visiting his friends at the Snake Pit lamia strip club or getting tattooed by the dark and mysterious half-octopus woman named Oona. Oona is the best tattooist in the city, but she is a frightening woman three times Eliot's size with nine-foot tentacles that could choke a man to death in seconds. But despite this fact, Eliot is desperately in love with her. He's so infatuated with the octomaid that he gets new tattoos from her each and every week just to be closer to her, addicted to having her artwork permanently embedded into his skin. But when Eliot accidentally murders the only heir to the elf yakuza crime family in Oona's tattoo shop, they are forced to go on the run together, hoping to avoid the wrath of the most dangerous man in town. With everyone in the city out to get them, they can only rely on each other if they have any hope for survival. Like if Quentin Tarantino played with Monster High dolls, Full Metal Octopus is a return to Mellick's pulpy gritty bizarro style previously seen in The Cannibals of Candyland, Armadillo Fists, and Clownfellas.




Snow Laughing Matter


Book Description

An Enjoyable Excursion Another icy winter begins to settle into Snow Falls, Alaska. Sarah isn’t feeling her usual self as her attempts to become pregnant have yet to bear fruit. With her husband Detective Conrad Spencer out of town, Sarah and Amanda decide to visit their old friend Manford, who is passing through with the local circus. Despite Sarah’s sadness, she sets out with the hope of enjoying the circus performance. A Clown’s Circus Yet when the circus act ends, a killer has left a mysterious message in the form of hidden pies, both in Sarah’s car and home. When a circus worker is found dead, events take a turn for the worse. Sarah is torn, caught between the desire to walk away from being a cop to become a mother and the need to catch a killer. A Revealing Riddle With the identity of the murderer masked as a clown, Sarah finds that the killer has an advantageous secret trick up his sleeve. Relying on the help of friend and former colleague Los Angeles Detective Pete, can Sarah outsmart the riddles of a clown who turns laughter into screams? Keywords: winter cozy mystery novels box cold, alaska snowman mystery series books woman author, Coffee shop owner mystery books, Woman sleuth amateur cozy mysteries reluctant, Cozy mystery with cat or dog romance books sets, Retired cop writer in a clean mystery series, Divorced mystery writer sleuths join forces, cozy murder mysteries, cozy mystery novels collection, small town mystery, mysteries women sleuths, older sleuth mystery, cozy mystery, amateur sleuth, traditional mystery, mystery, small town mystery, female protagonist mystery, murder mystery, cozy mysteries, female sleuth, humor, series, female protagonist, novel, secret, suspense, mystery detective stories, mystery romance books clean, mystery romance suspense, mystery suspense murder, mystery with women, mystery women books, mystery romance, cosy mystery book




The Unidentified


Book Description

Fifteen-year-old Katey (aka Kid) goes to school in the Game—a mall converted into a “school” run by corporate sponsors. As the students play their way through the levels, they are also creatingproducts and being used for market research by the sponsors, who are watching them 24/7 on video cameras. Kid has a vague sense of unease but doesn’t question this existence until one day she witnesses a shocking anticorporateprank. She follows the clues to uncover the identities of the people behind it and discovers an anonymous group that callsitself the Unidentified. Intrigued by their countercultureideas and enigmatic leader, Kid is drawn into the group. But when the Unidentified’s pranks and even Kid’s own identity are co-opted by the sponsors, Kid decides to do something bigger—something that could change the Game forever. This funny, sharp, and thought-provoking novel heralds the arrival of a stunning new voice in teen fiction.




Apeshit


Book Description

Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q. Apeshit is Mellick's love letter to the great and terrible B-horror movie genre. Six trendy teenagers (three cheerleaders and three football players) go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for a weekend of drinking, partying, and crazy sex, only to find themselves in the middle of a life and death struggle against a horribly mutated psychotic freak that just won't stay dead. Mellick parodies this horror clich and twists it into something deeper and stranger. It is the literary equivalent of a grindhouse film. It is a splatter punk's wet dream. It is perhaps one of the most fucked up books ever written. If you are a fan of Takashi Miike, Evil Dead, early Peter Jackson, or Eurotrash horror, then you must read this book.