I Am Reading Creepy Customers


Book Description

When Steve helps out at his dad's pharmacy, he encounters a variety of surprising customers.




Creepy Customers


Book Description

Baker Jones needs an extra set of hands to man the register at his bleak bakery. Where there should be heavenly aromas and tasty treats, Ella finds stale crumbs and bare shelves. But that's not all that's odd about this place! With their piercing blue eyes and soulless stares, the bakery's creepy customers are what spook Ella the most.




Creepy Carrots!


Book Description

In this Caldecott Honor–winning picture book, The Twilight Zone comes to the carrot patch as a rabbit fears his favorite treats are out to get him. Includes audio! Jasper Rabbit loves carrots—especially Crackenhopper Field carrots. He eats them on the way to school. He eats them going to Little League. He eats them walking home. Until the day the carrots start following him...or are they? Celebrated artist Peter Brown’s stylish illustrations pair perfectly with Aaron Reynold’s text in this hilarious picture book that shows it’s all fun and games…until you get too greedy.




Creepy Monsters, Sleepy Monsters


Book Description

Two rambunctious monsters creep, gurgle, crawl, and tumble before falling asleep.




Creepiosity


Book Description

In his hilarious yet disturbing (because it's so true) book Creepiosity: A Hilarious Guide to the Unintentionally Creepy, comedy writer David Bickel presents readers with 100 of the most unsettling everyday things, such as grown men in Boy Scout uniforms, old ladies with really long hair, fish with people faces, lifelike baby dolls, and much more. Bickel infuses each subject with comedic insight into what exactly makes it creepy and provides an appropriately hilarious photo to help illustrate his point. And since not all creepiness is created equal, Bickel has invented an unnecessarily complex mathematical formula (or Creepiosity Index, if you will) to quantify each unsettling item's relative creepiness. (Band-Aids that were once affixed to someone's body but now aren't: 7.454.) However, Bickel also acknowledges that creepiness, universal as it may be, is far from absolute. To that end, he invites readers to assign their own Creepiosity number to these and other curiosities via a companion Web site. (For example, what's more disturbing, hairless cats or Dick Cheney smiling? You decide!)




Bunny


Book Description

NATIONAL BESTSELLER Soon to be a major motion picture "Jon Swift + Witches of Eastwick + Kelly 'Get In Trouble' Link + Mean Girls + Creative Writing Degree Hell! No punches pulled, no hilarities dodged, no meme unmangled! O Bunny you are sooo genius!" —Margaret Atwood, via Twitter "A wild, audacious and ultimately unforgettable novel." —Michael Schaub, Los Angeles Times "Awad is a stone-cold genius." —Ann Bauer, The Washington Post The Vegetarian meets Heathers in this darkly funny, seductively strange novel from the acclaimed author of 13 Ways of Looking at a Fat Girl and Rouge "We were just these innocent girls in the night trying to make something beautiful. We nearly died. We very nearly did, didn't we?" Samantha Heather Mackey couldn't be more of an outsider in her small, highly selective MFA program at New England's Warren University. A scholarship student who prefers the company of her dark imagination to that of most people, she is utterly repelled by the rest of her fiction writing cohort--a clique of unbearably twee rich girls who call each other "Bunny," and seem to move and speak as one. But everything changes when Samantha receives an invitation to the Bunnies' fabled "Smut Salon," and finds herself inexplicably drawn to their front door--ditching her only friend, Ava, in the process. As Samantha plunges deeper and deeper into the Bunnies' sinister yet saccharine world, beginning to take part in the ritualistic off-campus "Workshop" where they conjure their monstrous creations, the edges of reality begin to blur. Soon, her friendships with Ava and the Bunnies will be brought into deadly collision. The spellbinding new novel from one of our most fearless chroniclers of the female experience, Bunny is a down-the-rabbit-hole tale of loneliness and belonging, friendship and desire, and the fantastic and terrible power of the imagination. Named a Best Book of 2019 by TIME, Vogue, Electric Literature, and The New York Public Library




Why Privacy Matters


Book Description

Cover -- Half Title -- Why Privacy Matters -- Copyright -- Contents -- Introduction: The Privacy Conversation -- Part I -- 1. What Privacy Is -- 2. A Theory of Privacy as Rules -- 3. What Privacy Isn't -- Part II -- 4. Identity -- 5. Freedom -- 6. Protection -- Conclusion: Why Privacy Matters -- Acknowledgments -- Notes -- Index.




No Fallen Angel


Book Description

Angel Khoury is sick and tired. Tired of her job dancing in a London Gentleman’s Club and sick of her troubles with women. But when Angel is offered freelance work in a sleepy little village on the southwest coast of England and ends up taking a second job at a local garden center to make ends meet, things start heating up. And soon they are sizzling. The source of the heat is Nell Frank, the blond woman who owns the garden center, whose life is complicated enough without an exotic dancer in the picture. After encounters under moonlit skies, on beautiful Cornish beaches, and in greenhouses under fragrant flowering vines, the couple must face their demons. Both have deep scars, and temptations abound. Can they overcome these obstacles for a future together? Is Nell’s lover the fallen angel she fears? Soon Angel and Nell must decide if they're ready to leave their past behind to find their happily ever after.




Creepy Customers


Book Description

When Steve helps out in his Dad's chemist shop, he meets some very creepy customers. Are they going to a fancy dress party?




Predictive Marketing


Book Description

Make personalized marketing a reality with this practical guide to predictive analytics Predictive Marketing is a predictive analytics primer for organizations large and small, offering practical tips and actionable strategies for implementing more personalized marketing immediately. The marketing paradigm is changing, and this book provides a blueprint for navigating the transition from creative- to data-driven marketing, from one-size-fits-all to one-on-one, and from marketing campaigns to real-time customer experiences. You'll learn how to use machine-learning technologies to improve customer acquisition and customer growth, and how to identify and re-engage at-risk or lapsed customers by implementing an easy, automated approach to predictive analytics. Much more than just theory and testament to the power of personalized marketing, this book focuses on action, helping you understand and actually begin using this revolutionary approach to the customer experience. Predictive analytics can finally make personalized marketing a reality. For the first time, predictive marketing is accessible to all marketers, not just those at large corporations — in fact, many smaller organizations are leapfrogging their larger counterparts with innovative programs. This book shows you how to bring predictive analytics to your organization, with actionable guidance that get you started today. Implement predictive marketing at any size organization Deliver a more personalized marketing experience Automate predictive analytics with machine learning technology Base marketing decisions on concrete data rather than unproven ideas Marketers have long been talking about delivering personalized experiences across channels. All marketers want to deliver happiness, but most still employ a one-size-fits-all approach. Predictive Marketing provides the information and insight you need to lift your organization out of the campaign rut and into the rarefied atmosphere of a truly personalized customer experience.