Dark Ride Dogs


Book Description

Death prophecies, ghost clowns, homicidal redcaps…this town has really gone to the dogs. Zero Dog mercenary Andrea Walker used to love fortune cookies—until the day she cracked one open to find a death prophecy. Of course, believing a fortune from a mass-produced baked good would be insane—until a berserker shows up on her doorstep claiming he’s been sent by an oracle to save her life. She must hire him or die. But hell really breaks loose when the Zero Dogs are contracted to stop a ghost-summoning goblin’s plan to bring his Eternal Malevolence Carnival and Incredible Show of Evil to Portland, starring a company of ghost performers—clowns, acrobats, and nefarious balloon-twisting mimes. Meanwhile, Andrea’s abnormally shy succubus friend Tiffany seems to be falling for the mysterious berserker. Too bad a malfunctioning charm spell has the redcap goblin yearning for her as well. Now Andrea must elude a death prophecy, discover if her new-hire berserker can be trusted, and avert the looming ghost clown apocalypse. Just another day at the office for the Zero Dogs. Reader note: contains clowns and other shenanigans. May not be suitable for some circuses.




Hyperbole and a Half


Book Description

#1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!




Strange Dogs


Book Description

A novella set in the hard-scrabble world of James S. A. Corey's NYT-bestselling Expanse series, Strange Dogs follows a family of colonists on Laconia where a new generation of humanity struggles with the profound changes that come with making a home on an alien world. Now a Prime Original series. This story will be available in the complete Expanse story collection, Memory’s Legion. HUGO AWARD WINNER FOR BEST SERIES Like many before them, Cara and her family ventured through the gates as scientists and researchers, driven to carve out a new life and uncover the endless possibilities of the unexplored alien worlds now within reach. But soon the soldiers followed and under this new order Cara makes a discovery that will change everything. The Expanse Leviathan Wakes Caliban's War Abaddon's Gate Cibola Burn Nemesis Games Babylon's Ashes Persepolis Rising Tiamat's Wrath ​Leviathan Falls Memory's Legion The Expanse Short Fiction Drive The Butcher of Anderson Station Gods of Risk The Churn The Vital Abyss Strange Dogs Auberon The Sins of Our Fathers




Animals After Dark


Book Description

Animal antics can be silly and cute, but did you know they can be spooky, too? Learn real animal facts while reading fun and frightening stories about beasts that go, “Boo!” Featuring frightful facts, chilling illustrations, and real-life safety tips, this book will keep kids interested without keeping them up all night. The backmatter features additional recommended reading, plus a link to downloadable activities.




The Zero Dog War


Book Description

The first bullet is always free. After that, you gotta pay. After accidentally blowing up a client's facility and ruining a cushy city contract in the same day, pyromancer and mercenary captain Andrea Walker is scrambling to save her Zero Dogs. Her team of misfits includes a sexually repressed succubus, a werewolf with a thing for health food, the token vampire, a three-hundred-pound calico cat, and a massive demon who really loves to blow stuff up. Life is never dull for these paranormal guns for hire. With the bankruptcy vultures circling, the government throws her a high-paying, short-term contract even the Zero Dogs can't screw up: destroy a capitalist necromancer bent on dominating the gelatin industry with an all-zombie workforce. The catch? She has to take on Special Forces Captain Jake Sanders, a man who threatens both the existence of the team and Andrea's deliberate avoidance of messy romantic entanglements. As Andrea strains to hold her dysfunctional team together long enough to derail the corporate zombie apocalypse, the prospect of getting her heart run over by a tank tread is the least of her worries. The government never does anything without an ulterior motive. Jake could be the key to success...or just another line item in her expanding list of problems. Oh, and the necromancer begins expanding his commercial enterprise by bussing zombies to rob banks and wreaking general havoc. Good thing Andrea isn't afraid to burn a few bridges to get the job done. Important note: contains rough language, intense action and violence that may involve fire, rampaging zombie hordes, a heroine with an attitude and flamethrower, Special Forces commandos, ninjas, apocalyptic necromancer capitalist machinations, absurd parody and mayhem, self-deluded humor, irreverence, geek humor, mutant cats, low-brow comedy, and banana-kiwi-flavored gelatin




Dark Ride: A Horror Story


Book Description

It’s the last night of the Harvest Fair Carnival. The air is cool and the sky is filled with stars as Charlotte and her boyfriend, Mitchell, walk through the cemetery to get to the fair before it’s gone for another year. The moonlight illuminates the headstones with an eerie glow as Mitchell talks about The Doll House—a dark ride that hasn’t been seen in almost forty years, but is featured at the carnival this year. He also tells Charlotte about R. Wodehouse, the notorious magician who is thought to be responsible for hundreds of disappearances in their town. Charlotte wants to have fun with Mitchell but has bad memories of the fair—things that happened when she was a little girl. She’s hoping this year will be different, that she and Mitchell will finally have a nice time together—something that hasn’t happened for a long time. Unfortunately, everything changes when Charlotte sees a giant doll head looming over the fairgrounds at the end of the midway. The Doll House. It’s the main event as far as Mitchell is concerned, and she knows she won’t be able to avoid riding through with him. Charlotte is wary as she approaches the building with disturbing images painted on the side and the creepy magician standing at the entrance. She’s frightened of the way he stares at her with his hypnotic, black eyes—eyes that draw her in and make it impossible for her to turn back. But Charlotte should be wary, because once she enters the world inside The Doll House—through the pitch-black hole of the gaping mouth—she realizes she may never leave. Dark Ride: A Horror Story is a novella of 22k words. If a trigger warning is something you need, you’ll probably want to skip this one.




Dark Ride #10


Book Description

I am impossibly intrigued by the work that JOSHUA WILLIAMSON, ANDREI BRESSAN, and company are crafting here. —ComicBook.com Sam desperately searches for his missing daughter, whos been taken by the mascots as the parks next victim. But Halloween has learned the truth of her fathers bargain with the Devil, and the power she now wields with it.




9mm Blues


Book Description

Thorn Knights Book One Flesh-eating ghouls. A kidnapped child. A knight's honor caught in the crossfire... Christopher Hill is a knight in the Order of the Thorn—the sacred order of soldiers armed with submachine guns, swords, and magic. Their mission is simple: destroy the ancient, profane evils that prey upon humanity. But that mission becomes far more complicated when a young boy is kidnapped by flesh-eating ghouls, turning a routine search-and-destroy mission into a nightmare standoff. Barricaded inside a run-down house, the ghouls gain a deadly upper hand, and while the body count rises, Hill finds himself caught in a power struggle within the order that puts his life, and his honor, at risk, and threatens both the mission and the boy Hill has vowed to see home safe, no matter what... Keywords: fantasy thriller, urban fantasy, fantasy suspense, knights, ghouls, action




Junkyard Dog Omnibus


Book Description

Bounced through an asteroid field like a pinball, Major Rita King crashes her damaged star cruiser on a lifeless planet. Her troubles are just beginning. Rita loves her ship. Loves the feel of deep space between the stars. Loves being a galaxy cop. But holding the spot of top pilot in the elite Red Barons leaves little time for anything else in her life. Maybe that’s why she missed the signs that all was not well in her world. Someone she trusted tampered with her ship and sent her out to die. Things go from bad to worse when Rita’s repaired ship is captured and she is forced to work in a mine filled with a deadly bacteria. Even if she escapes she’ll be a fugitive from the very agency she swore to uphold. Her life in tatters, Rita fights to find answers. Who betrayed her, and why? Get all thirteen books in the Junkyard Dog series plus a series-related short story, Alcatraz Moon, at one special price. science fiction action adventure, aliens, alien planets, SF mystery




Junkyard Dog Collection 3


Book Description

The third volume in the Junkyard Dog collection series contains books seven, eight, and nine. Rose Sunstone Once a galaxy cop who believed in the black and white of the law, Rita King finds herself on a mission that straddles the line. As the Junkyard Dog carries Rita and her crew to the only known source for a powerful crystal known as the Rose Sunstone, she wonders if the end justifies the means. They soon learn that not only galaxy law protects the rare crystal. Should Rita risk everything–including the freedom of her crew—for a friend? New Earth Danger lurks everywhere in the galaxy. Rita King, owner and commander of the Junkyard Dog, decides to visit New Earth to give her friends some much needed rest and relaxation. Fashioned after the historic amusement parks of Old Earth, New Earth welcomes visitors from all across the galaxy. Prime marks for the gang of abandoned children with nowhere to go and only one way to survive. Rita and her crew face an unexpected and deadly foe when they are taken on a wild and unexpected ride beneath the glitter of the galaxy’s greatest amusement park. Red Mist The galaxy holds many strange and dangerous things . . . Alone at the helm of the Junkyard Dog, pilot Margarita King notices a dense cloud of red dust approaching her ship. A strange anomaly of space never before recorded. Before Rita can react, an unseen force takes control of her body. Pressing in on her until she winks out of existence. Join the crew of the Junkyard Dog as they embark on their strangest adventure yet—one that will change their lives forever. A sci-fi adventure series with alien worlds.