Fart Out Loud


Book Description

From the day you are born, you are told to follow a book of rules. In my teen years, I was told, "You have two options. Become a doctor or an engineer. If you can't do either one of those, at least you could be a lawyer." But it gets better. To reinforce the importance of succeeding in a career that was decided by others, I was instructed, "All you have to do is study hard, get a degree, and find a job. Then you will be able to buy a house and a nice car. You will be well respected." No pressure at all. This is the norm: become like the person next to you to be successful. Then society will accept you. We have built a robust system to support all of it-from education to career to the grave. The problem with this system is that it's getting old. Five decades ago, if you follow the path, you would make it to the top. But no longer. Over the last couple of decades, we have seen drastic changes in our society due to improvements in technology. There are more startups in this world than ever before-a plethora of career paths for us to explore. Sitting at a desk and waiting for your manager to offer you a promotion might not work anymore. Is the promotion years overdue? Does the least qualified person get the pat on the back. Does it seem like you are invisible? Whether it's an interview or meeting, you have to show what you are worth. So ... fart out in style! This book is for those trying to find a way to get past those interviews, gain that promotion, and achieve great career heights. It will help you master the art of showing how good you are through making simple observations and adopting those tactics to navigate corporate politics. You will learn to fart out loud to be successful in your career, gain visibility and achieve what you deserve. "We get limited opportunities in our careers to pursue the goals we dream. There are no shortcuts, but if we know how to fart at the right places, at the right times, we are a step ahead of the rest."




No One Likes a Fart


Book Description

Fart is desperate to make friends and have fun. But no one likes a fart -- not even a fart with a heart. With plenty of laughs and even more heart, this delightful picture book shows that even the smelliest among us can find a friend in this world. It's hard out there for a fart. Too smelly. Too embarassing. Too gross. Striking the perfect balance of gross-out humor, wit, and heart, this beautifully illustrated picture book delivers a message of accepting yourself and finding a friend who loves you just the way you are.




Someone Farted


Book Description

Two words throw a family’s car trip into utter (and smelly) chaos in this hilarious story of denial from Bruce Eric Kaplan. The Krupkes are having a nice, peaceful Saturday morning drive to the grocery store when: it happens. Someone. Farts. The car is thrown into chaos. Sister turns against brother. Mom almost faints. Dad almost gets into an accident. The smell is so bad it’s criminal—so criminal they all end up in jail! And still no one will take responsibility for the odious odor. Will the Krupkes make it through this ordeal in one piece, or will they fracture from the unending accusations of “whoever smelt it dealt it?”




Harvey The Heart Had Too Many Farts


Book Description

Great Valentine's Day gift! Poor Harvey, he's just a little heart with too many farts and it's driving away his friends! Will he ever find someone who can love him the way he is? Get ready to giggle your way through this rhyming tale of silly toot situations and friendship. This book is appropriate for ALL AGES who don't mind silly toot humor (that is not overly gross). Words used include: toot, fart, gas, booty, and bum. Grab this new release in time for Valentines Day! 8.5" x 8.5" Premium glossy cover Hilarious and heart-felt story told through tooting Full color, professional illustrations An easy quick gift for kids (and kids at heart)




Fart Proudly


Book Description

Meet Benjamin Franklin as you’ve never met him before . . . This hilarious collection includes the Founding Father’s satirical writings on farting, adultery, and other irreverent subjects you won’t find in your history books. A mention of flatulence might conjure up images of bratty high school boys or lowbrow comics. But one of the most eloquent—and least expected—commentators on the subject is Benjamin Franklin. The writings in Fart Proudly reveal the rogue who lived peaceably within the philosopher and statesman. Included are “The Letter to a Royal Academy”; “On Choosing a Mistress”; “Rules on Making Oneself Disagreeable”; and other jibes. Franklin’s irrepressible wit found an outlet in perpetrating hoaxes, attacking marriage and other sacred cows, and skewering the English Parliament. Reminding us of the humorous, irreverent side of this American icon, these essays endure as both hilarious satire and a timely reminder of the importance of a free press.




Fart and Burp are Superstinkers


Book Description

What could be better than a Fart with a heart? A Super Fart of course! Wafting around with his stinky best friend Burp, Fart couldn’t be happier. But sometimes Burp wishes people wouldn’t say, YUCK and GROSS and PEE-YEW . . . Could being smelly ever be a force for good? A super stinker of a tale that proves anyone can be a hero. Readers who loved Zoë Foster Blake's ABIA award-winning and best-selling No One Likes a Fart will love this companion book as Fart and Burp decide to make difference in the world whether people love them or not. They'll make some friends along the way and even get capes! Be ready for some powerful pongs, the Superstinkers are in town!




Daddy Fartypants


Book Description

Daddy Fartypants was a very windy bear. It didn't matter where he was. Or what he was doing... And the worst thing? Daddy Fartypants always blames someone else. But that all changes when he meets Little Bear's lovely (and very windy) new teacher... Full of fun, farts and family ... look no further for the book to share with Dad! Emer Stamp is the creator of the bestselling The Unbelievable Top Secret Diary of Pig and winner of the 2019 LOLLIES book awards.




Freddie The Farting Snowman


Book Description

Top Gift For 2020! Did you know that snowmen fart? It's true! Follow Freddie the Farting Snowman to learn the hysterical kinds of farts that are a part of snowman life. The Arctic Blast, the Farticle Collider and many more will have you bursting with laughter! This book is appropriate for ALL AGES who don't mind silly toot humor (that is not overly gross). Words used include: toot, fart, gas, booty, rump, and bum. Grab this new release in time for the holiday gift giving season! 8.5" x 8.5" Premium glossy cover Hilarious collection of fart names and situations Full color, professional illustrations An easy quick gift for the kids (and kids at heart) on your gift list




How to Fart - Louder, Longer, and Stronger... Without Soiling Your Undies!


Book Description

There are many books on the market giving solutions on how to stop farting. But what is there for people who want to fart more? To fart louder? To fart longer? To fart stronger...both pressure wise, and smell wise? Those that want to become champions at passing wind? Those that want to exercise their right to free speech, and exercise their sphincters at the same time? Those who say to hell with the clean air bill? And to those who want to fart responsibly, and not leave skid marks. And to those that just want to have fun! Well, to all those people, this book is written for you! In this concise, no fluff (well, actually full of fluff and hot air) report you'll learn to do exactly what the book title says... Fart louder, longer and stronger. In this short read you'll learn to build up the fart pressure with scientific food combining, and how to release it at will with advanced bowel control. Impress your friends, relatives, and partners. You'll be the talk of the town. Learn to create copious amounts of wind, and how to utilize it for best effect. You'll learn how to generate the gas, how to control and propel it, and how to make it smell beastly! From meek and mild through too big, bold and offensive...in fact deadly! Use these skills to clear a long bank queue, get a seat on a crowded train or bus, get extra leg room on a long flight, in fact the possibilities are endless. Go into stealth mode and watch people give each other the hairy eye ball as they try to figure out who dropped the clanger. Movie theaters, restaurants, amusement rides...nothing is safe...nothing is out of bounds. Get creative! Use your new found super powers to go above and beyond what others thought possible. Use shock and awe tactics. Singe peoples nose hairs. Create havoc. Have them gagging, and gasping for air. But with these new found powers comes great responsibility. Use them for good. Clear a bus to make a seat for a little old lady...and let someone else take the blame! (Insert evil chuckle here). Everything and anything is possible in this new paradigm of achievement that you will find your life propelled into. Blast yourself into success. Rise to heights and levels previously unimaginable. The world truly is your oyster, or perhaps I should say pickled egg. Forget about dropping your lunch, that will all be behind you...think about dropping a whole shopping trolley of cheese, tasty! Based on real science and food chemistry, this book is very much a practical guide, without getting bogged down too deeply into technical crap. Prac, not crap. There are enough scientific facts to keep the more technically minded satisfied. Onward and upward, go boldly forward into a hole (pun intended) new level of achievement, recognition, and farting pleasure. You will now be a famed Fartiste, and the envy of your colleagues, friends, and work mates. Walk tall, with your nose held high. You will exude a presence that commands attention. At last, gain the respect you deserve. OK, that's enough reading this blurb. Stop dreaming, and get into action and start reaping the rewards of fame and respect. Click the buy now button now, and let the fun begin!




The Secret Life of Farts


Book Description

A laugh-out-loud illustrated journey around the hidden world of the fart Hilarious verses and outrageous illustrations combine to produce a book about the funniest thing in the world: farts! From the racetrack to the concert hall, from humble bank-robbers to esteemed royals, farts are produced everywhere and by everyone. The Secret Life of Farts is your guide to the rich, colourful, flatulatory world that is all around us.