Father Christmas's Fake Beard


Book Description

A collection of wonderful Christmas stories from the fantastically funny Terry Pratchett. With incredible illustrations from Mark Beech, it's the perfect stocking filler! Have you ever wanted Christmas to be different? Turkey and carols, presents and crackers - they all start to feel a bit . . . samey. How about a huge exploding mince pie, a pet abominable snowman, or a very helpful partridge in a pear tree? What if Father Christmas went to work at a zoo, or caused chaos in a toy store or, was even, arrested for burglary!? Dive into the fantastically funny world of Terry Pratchett, for a festive treat like no other. These ten stories will have you laughing, gasping and crying (with laughter) - you'll never see Christmas in the same way again. 'Funny, action-packed . . . a rip-roaring read' The Sun




The Time-travelling Caveman


Book Description

*The final collection of short stories from the incredible Sir Terry Pratchett!* Imagination is an amazing thing. It can take you to the top of the highest mountain, or down to the bottom of the deepest depths of the sea. This where it took Doggins on his Awfully Big Adventure: a quest full of magic and flying machines. (And the world's best joke - trust me, it's hilarious.) It took three young inventors to the moon (where they may or may not have left a bottle of lemonade) and a caveman on a trip to the dentist. You can join them on these adventures, and many more, in this incredible collection of stories . . . From the greatest imagination there ever was. Written for local newspapers when Terry Pratchett was a young lad, these never previously published stories are packed full of anarchic humour and wonderful wit. A must-have for Terry fans . . . and young readers looking for a fix of magic.




Jingle Bell Beard


Book Description

My to do list: Revive my crashed PR career. Turn around the Kringle family business by Christmas. Convince my ex-boyfriend, NHL legend Matt "the Mountain" Kringle, to help me, even though I broke his heart when we were seventeen. Easy, right? Matt is huge, he's hot, and he's the grumpiest player in the league. I'll have to brave his bad attitude and his sexy beard if I want him to help bail out the family business and put my career back on track. I'll also have to try to forget - again - what an amazing kisser he is. None of it is going to be easy. Not when Matt's arrival in town leads to the Airport Incident and the Candy Cane Scandal - talk about embarrassing. But as Matt and I navigate disaster after disaster together, I'll have to get over the fact that I never got over him. And that love with Matt is a game I just might want to play.




Dragons at Crumbling Castle


Book Description

New York Times best-selling author Terry Pratchett's irreverent and irresistible tales for children in a lavishly designed and extensively illustrated volume.




Beard in a Box


Book Description

This hilarious father-son romp is perfect for fans of Don’t Push the Button! and Mustache Baby! A young boy longs for a beard like Dad’s, and when he discovers a hair-growth product called Beard in a Box, he must have it! He rips open the package, plants the beard seeds, and waits . . . And waits . . . And waits. Hilarious art and a feel-good ending make this the perfect Father’s Day gift for bearded and clean-shaven readers alike! "From the boy's imaginings of what his beard will look like (and each beard's accompanying attribute) to the hysterical vignettes showing him waiting for the mail, exercising his face, and expressing his frustration, the facial expressions are spot-on. Yes, dads are awesome, and if you hang out with them, they'll teach you to be awesome too." —Kirkus, starred review




The Witch's Vacuum Cleaner and Other Stories


Book Description

Do you believe in magic? Can you imagine a war between wizards? An exciting journey in an airship or down in a submarine? Would you like to meet the fastest truncheon in the Wild West? The Witch’s Vacuum Cleaner is the second fabulously funny short-story collection from the late acclaimed storyteller Terry Pratchett. A follow-up to Dragons at Crumbling Castle, this second batch of storytelling gems features stories written when Sir Terry was just seventeen years old and working as a junior reporter. In these pages, new Pratchett fans will find wonder, mayhem, sorcery, and delight—and loyal readers will recognize the seeds of ideas that went on to influence his most beloved tales later in life. As Neil Gaiman says, “a Terry Pratchett book is a small miracle”—and The Witch’s Vacuum Cleaner proves to be another miracle taking its place alongside Pratchett’s astounding and cherished body of work.




Santa from Cincinnati


Book Description

Everything you ever wanted to know about Santa, as told to the author of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs by the big guy himself. This eBook edition includes audio! As you might imagine, the early life of Santa Claus was a liiiiiiiittle different from the childhood of your average kid. His first words were “ho ho ho!” By five he was wearing a fake beard and mustache, and could rarely be found without his favorite stuffed reindeer. It was clear from a very young age that he was destined for uniqueness.... Despite this, his parents went to great lengths to keep the normalcy in his life. They had him learn guitar (he was in a rock band!), and play baseball (he had quite an arm), and even do chores (okay—here he was like any other kid on earth—he hated chores). But there was no stopping Santa from being Santa, and one winter, he began to make his lists. He checked them twice, and delivered toys to children all over Cincinnati. Then, all over Ohio. Then—the world. Compiled from his baby book, family photos, and report cards, Santa from Cincinnati provides a full-spectrum view of the boy who grew to be the man who grew to be Santa.




In the Water They Can't See You Cry


Book Description

"A seven-time Olympic medalist describes her battles with depression, eating disorders and substance abuse in spite of her successful career, recounting how she hid her struggles from her loved ones before seeking help and finding renewal in the birth of her son. 75,000 first printing."




Santa's New Beard


Book Description

The big red suit was ironed and ready.The elves had stuffed the final teddy,When from the bathroom came a yelp,'Ho Ho, oh no! Quick, someone HELP!'When Santa accidentally shaves off his famous beard, the elves all rally round to help. Will they be able to sort him out before Christmas Eve? Festive and fun, this is destined to become a seasonal favourite.




Dodger's Guide to London


Book Description

This digital edition includes the original artwork, has been specially adapted for ebook platforms and is optimized for tablet devices. The hardback edition of Dodger's Guide to London has fully integrated images and text. ROLL UP! ROLL UP! READ ALL ABOUT IT! Ladies and Gents, Sir Jack Dodger brings you a most excellent Guide to London! Did you know . . . ? If a Victorian couldn’t afford a sweep, they might drop a goose down their chimney to clean it! A nobby lady’s unmentionables could weigh up to 40lbs! Parliament had to be suspended during the Great Stink of 1858! From the wretches of the rookeries to the fancy coves at Buckingham Palace, Dodger will show you every dirty inch of London. Warning: Includes ’orrible murders, naughty ladies and plenty of geezers!