The Funniest Football Quotes


Book Description

A book for all football fans A collection of some of the funniest football quotes for all the family. Perfect as a gift for any football fan Quotes from the great and good of football The best of the funniest quotes"I never comment on referees, and I'm not gonna break the habit of a lifetime for that prat". Ron Atkinson"As a boy I was torn between being a footballer or joining a circus. At Partick Thistle I did both".Alan Hansen




Football's Funniest Quotes


Book Description

The ideal gift! A hilarious read for all football fans. Find out who said:"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel""You can't play with a one-armed goalkeeper ...not at this level""I never make predictions, ...and I never will"then laugh at HUNDREDS MORE ridiculous quotes from the world of football.




World's Funniest Football Quotes


Book Description

Football is a great game.The skill and grace of a Johan Cruff, Diego Maradona or Lionel Messi. The ecstasy of that great victory for your team or country. And the agony of defeat or relegation after a hard-fought campaign. Just that alone makes football the world's greatest sport.But the icing on the cake is that footballers tend not to think too much before speaking. This has given us some of the funniest quotes of all time. This book is a collection of the author's favourite players and managers from around the world and his favourite funny quotes. Some real classics that will have you in stitches!




Fever Pitch


Book Description

*WINNER OF THE WILLIAM HILL SPORTS BOOK OF THE YEAR* Fever Pitch is Nick Hornby's million-copy-selling, award-winnning football classic 'A spanking 7-0 away win of a football book. . . inventive, honest, funny, heroic, charming' Independent For many people watching football is mere entertainment, to some it's more like a ritual; but to others, its highs and lows provide a narrative to life itself. But, for Nick Hornby, his devotion to the game has provided one of few constants in a life where the meaningful things - like growing up, leaving home and forming relationships, both parental and romantic - have rarely been as simple or as uncomplicated as his love for Arsenal. Brimming with wit and honesty, Fever Pitch, catches perfectly what it really means to be a football fan - and in doing so, what it means to be a man. 'Hornby has put his finger on truths that have been unspoken for generations' Irish Times 'Funny, wise and true' Roddy Doyle




Gentlemen, This Is a Football


Book Description

"Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck." - Don Shula Football has changed the way we speak, adding new words and rewriting the definitions of old ones. NFL games dominate Sunday's television ratings as millions of fans tune in to watch their favorite teams. Gentlemen, This is a Football is a quote from Vince Lombardi, and this book celebrates more of the wit and wisdom in the game of football. Fascinating quotations taken from superstars and celebrities will engage fans of all ages, who will find plenty to cheer about here. These quotes mix the hilarious with the sarcastic and the sincere with laugh-out-loud zingers. Of course there are groaners -- and lots of "oops" moments, too. Here's a small sampling: Terry Bradshaw couldn't spell cat if you spotted him the C and the A. (Thomas "Hollywood" Henderson) Pressure is something you feel when you don't know what the hell you're doing. (Peyton Manning) Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental. (Doug Plank) Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing. (Vince Lombardi) Gentlemen, it is better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football. (John Heisman) Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. (Joe Theismann)




Football Champ


Book Description

When Troy White proved his remarkable "football genius" to the Atlanta Falcons, they brought him on board as a team consultant. Now, thanks to Troy's ability to predict winning plays, the Falcons are pulling in victories. Troy loves his starring role behind the scenes and the thrill of having NFL star linebacker Seth Halloway (who's dating Troy's mom) to coach his own Duluth Tigers team on their way to a state championship. Then Troy's perfect world comes crashing down. Reporter Brent Peele is out to smear as much mud on the Falcons as he can, and that means going after Troy. The vicious media storm that descends on the football genius threatens not only his job with the Falcons and the Tigers' run at a championship but his mother's career—and Seth's—as well. Together with his best friends, loyal Nathan and feisty Tate, Troy sets out to unmask the dishonest Peele—and save Seth's reputation—no matter what the risk. With his signature blend of thrilling action and insider knowledge, Tim Green shows Troy, hero of the New York Times bestselling Football Genius, in a new and riveting adventure.




Why Football Matters


Book Description

Acclaimed essayist Mark Edmundson reflects on his own rite of passage as a high school football player to get to larger truths about the ways America's Game shapes its men Football teaches young men self-discipline and teamwork. But football celebrates violence. Football is a showcase for athletic beauty and physical excellence. But football damages young bodies and minds, sometimes permanently. Football inspires confidence and direction. But football instills cockiness, a false sense of superiority. The athlete is a noble figure with a proud lineage. The jock is America at its worst. When Mark Edmundson’s son began to play organized football, and proved to be very good at it, Edmundson had to come to terms with just what he thought about the game. Doing so took him back to his own childhood, when as a shy, soft boy growing up in a blue-collar Boston suburb in the sixties, he went out for the high school football team. Why Football Matters is the story of what happened to Edmundson when he tried to make himself into a football player. What does it mean to be a football player? At first Edmundson was hapless on the field. He was an inept player and a bad teammate. But over time, he got over his fears and he got tougher. He learned to be a better player and came to feel a part of the team, during games but also on all sorts of escapades, not all of them savory. By playing football, Edmundson became what he and his father hoped he’d be, a tougher, stronger young man, better prepared for life. But is football-instilled toughness always a good thing? Do the character, courage, and loyalty football instills have a dark side? Football, Edmundson found, can be full of bounties. But it can also lead you into brutality and thoughtlessness. So how do you get what’s best from the game and leave the worst behind? Why Football Matters is moving, funny, vivid, and filled with the authentic anxiety and exhilaration of youth. Edmundson doesn’t regret playing football for a minute, and cherishes the experience. His triumph is to be able to see it in full, as something to celebrate, but also something to handle with care. For anyone who has ever played on a football team, is the parent of a player, or simply is reflective about its outsized influence on America, Why Football Matters is both a mirror and a lamp.




Top Prospect


Book Description

Travis Gardner lives to play quarterback. He's a standout QB by middle school, and he's prepared to put everything he has into the game. Then Gainesville University's head coach makes Travis a promise: Travis will have a place on the team, and a scholarship to go with it. He just has to get through high school first. As Travis starts ninth grade, he'll have to earn his teammates' trust and dodge opponents aiming to sack the star quarterback. But his biggest challenge might be staying focused in the face of sudden fame. Because now the pressure is on, and Travis has to prove himself with every pass. "Travis' love for the game . . . seems absolutely authentic. This engaging read will resonate with middle schoolers, especially aspiring athletes."—Booklist




Football Hero


Book Description

Ty Lewis can't believe it when Coach V recruits him for the football team. This is Ty's big chance to prove how fast he is on the field, get a fresh start in a new school, and be like his older brother, Thane "Tiger" Lewis, who's about to graduate from college—and is being courted by the NFL. But Ty's guardian, Uncle Gus, won't let him play. Uncle Gus needs Ty to scrub floors and toilets for his cleaning business while he cooks up gambling schemes with the local mob boss, a man called "Lucy." When Lucy hears just how famous Ty's older brother is, he becomes suddenly friendly. Are the questions Lucy is asking Ty really about fantasy football . . . or is the Mafia using Ty to get valuable insider info from his superstar brother? Desperately worried, Ty must come up with a plan to save Thane's football career—and, ultimately, his life. Author of the New York Times bestselling Football Genius, former NFL player Tim Green will have you on the edge of your seat rooting for Ty—and enjoying an up-close look at what it's like to be inside the NFL.