Funny Short Speeches


Book Description

This book is an hilarious collection of short funny speeches and monologues. They were written as manual speeches for Toastmasters, to advance through my speech manuals. They were written over a 7-year period and during this period, I reached the level of ATM Silver. Toastmasters provided the perfect training course for me and I used my newly acquired skills and confidence to launch into an international career as a public speaker and writer. From 2002 to 2004, I travelled to 19 countries on 5 continents, fulfilling speaking engagements and a desire for world travel that I had dreamt of for decades. I realised very early in my Toastmasters club training that the best way to capture and retain an audience's attention was with the use of comedy. So, making my audience laugh became my main focus. These are my most cherished speeches. Making my audience laugh is still the greatest 'high' that I get from speaking.When you say something funny, and your audience laughs, you know that it's a genuine response and you've got through to them!You will find that I use many of my funny speeches to deliver some very important messages to my audience.It's incredibly hard to get an audience's attention when talking about a serious subject, but by using comedy, you capture their attention and they listen more carefully to make sure they don't miss out on your next joke or funny line. That's the perfect time to hit them with something important, something profound. You can then rest assured that your message has been heard loud and clear. Then it's back to more comedy. You can't afford to let them doze off for a minute!Public speaking is quite an art, and I have Toastmasters to thank for teaching me the skills, but more importantly, giving me the confidence to speak in front of an audience. These speeches and monologues are for your entertainment, and if your goal is to build confidence as a public speaker, they are also a testament to the value of Toastmasters as an excellent way to go. Finally, if you have a speech to give, please feel free to use these speeches as a guide.HISTORYAfter a successful career as a sales agent and sales manager, I yearned to become a professional public, so I joined Toastmasters.Two weeks later, I gave my first speech. It was okay, but I needed to learn so much more. Joining Toastmasters was everything I hoped it would be, and more.Over the next 7 years I gave 30 manual speeches and developed my speaking skills to the professional level I sought from the very start.That training gave me the confidence to embark on several international speaking tours that took me to 19 countries, on 5 continents.I also turned one of my speeches, Pericles - Athens' Most Glorious Ruler, into a one-man play, The Glory of Athens, which I performed in 10 countries, including theatre performances in Amsterdam, London and Hollywood.These tours took place from 2002-2004 and I have written about those travel experiences in several books.Most of my enjoyment, however, has come through delivering funny speeches. The spontaneous laughter from the audience is one of the most satisfying experiences I have ever had.Some of these speeches are included in this book, Funny Short Speeches - Examples of 5-10-minute speeches.I hope you enjoy my speeches just as much as my audiences from all over the world.REVIEWSMy! You are a very impressive man with a very impressive vision ... Reading your speeches turned out to be so hilarious I couldn't help myself cracking up every now and then to the surprise (delight or annoyance) of the people around here... I like most of your latest works (speeches), Pericles, The Wandering Knight, Why The Boss Gets Paid More, and the factual, superb and inspirational LIVE FOR THE JOURNEY, (NOT THE DESTINATION)... Dorie (Guam)You certainly have an interesting twist on the story of the three little pigs. I like it ! There are always two sides to any story. Scarlet (USA)




Speaking My Mind


Book Description

The most important speeches of America's "Great Communicator": Here, in his own words, is the record of Ronald Reagan's remarkable political career and historic eight-year presidency.




Lessons from a Third Grade Dropout


Book Description

A USA TODAY and Wall Street Journal bestseller! Learn how to live a life of character and integrity—by following the simple advice of a third grade dropout. Be inspired by the book behind Dr. Rick Rigsby’s viral graduation speech. After his wife died, Rick Rigsby was ready to give up. The bare minimum was good enough. Rigsby was content to go through the motions, living out his life as a shell of himself. But then he remembered the lessons his father taught him years before— incredibly simple, yet incredibly profound. These lessons weren’t about advanced mathematics or the secrets of the stock market. They were quite straightforward, in fact, as Rigsby’s father never made it through third grade. But if this man’s instructions were powerful enough to inspire one of his children to earn a Ph.D. and another to become a judge—imagine what they can do for you. While Rick Rigsby’s father was a third-grade dropout, he was a man who never hid behind any excuse. A man who never allowed his problems or lack of a formal education to determine his present or affect his future. A man who realized that destiny was a choice and not a chance. In Lessons from a Third Grade Dropout, Rigsby shares the simple lessons from his father that will transform your mindset, including: Remain true to yourself Think the best at all times Give your best regardless of the circumstances Keep standing no matter what Join Rigsby as he dusts off time-tested beliefs and shares his father’s impactful, far-reaching story—of how a life can be enhanced, of how a corporate culture can be changed, of how a family can be united—by living the simple lessons of a third-grade dropout.




Humor That Works


Book Description

Humor That Works is a business book on humor. No, that's not an oxymoron. It really is a business book and it really is about getting better results by having more fun. Because people who use humor in the workplace are more productive, less stressed, and happier. No joke; sources included.




Winning with One-Liners


Book Description

Laughter is power. Nothing livens up a presentation like well-placed jokes, which can take an audience from bored disinterest to rapt attention in seconds. In this ultimate collection of one-liners, author Pat Williams, one of the country's top motivational and inspirational speakers and senior vice president of the Orlando Magic, shares the jokes he has been using to win over audiences for over forty years. Arranged into more than 200 categories—from airlines and politics to world conditions and zoos—these 3,400 battle-tested funnies, delivered before a rich variety of audiences, will keep readers roaring. While many other joke books offer material that is either not very funny or off-color, Winning with One-Liners provides clean, wholesome entertainment for all audiences. Sometimes we all need a good laugh, and Pat Williams shows how to do it right in this indispensable book for all speakers.




How to Tell a Joke


Book Description

Timeless advice about how to use humor to win over any audience Can jokes win a hostile room, a hopeless argument, or even an election? You bet they can, according to Cicero, and he knew what he was talking about. One of Rome’s greatest politicians, speakers, and lawyers, Cicero was also reputedly one of antiquity’s funniest people. After he was elected commander-in-chief and head of state, his enemies even started calling him “the stand-up Consul.” How to Tell a Joke provides a lively new translation of Cicero’s essential writing on humor alongside that of the later Roman orator and educator Quintilian. The result is a timeless practical guide to how a well-timed joke can win over any audience. As powerful as jokes can be, they are also hugely risky. The line between a witty joke and an offensive one isn’t always clear. Cross it and you’ll look like a clown, or worse. Here, Cicero and Quintilian explore every aspect of telling jokes—while avoiding costly mistakes. Presenting the sections on humor in Cicero’s On the Ideal Orator and Quintilian’s The Education of the Orator, complete with an enlightening introduction and the original Latin on facing pages, How to Tell a Joke examines the risks and rewards of humor and analyzes basic types that readers can use to write their own jokes. Filled with insight, wit, and examples, including more than a few lawyer jokes, How to Tell a Joke will appeal to anyone interested in humor or the art of public speaking.




The Last Lecture


Book Description

The author, a computer science professor diagnosed with terminal cancer, explores his life, the lessons that he has learned, how he has worked to achieve his childhood dreams, and the effect of his diagnosis on him and his family.




Very Good Lives


Book Description

J.K. Rowling, one of the world's most inspiring writers, shares her wisdom and advice. In 2008, J.K. Rowling delivered a deeply affecting commencement speech at Harvard University. Now published for the first time in book form, VERY GOOD LIVES presents J.K. Rowling's words of wisdom for anyone at a turning point in life. How can we embrace failure? And how can we use our imagination to better both ourselves and others? Drawing from stories of her own post-graduate years, the world famous author addresses some of life's most important questions with acuity and emotional force.




You Are Not Special and Other Encouragements


Book Description

An inspirational and timely reflection on the way we bring up children that will resonate with parents everywhere. 'Longtime high school English teacher McCullough scores an A+ with this volume for teens and parents. Rich in literary references and poetic in cadence, the author also offers plenty of hilarious and pointed comments on teens and today's society.' - Publishers Weekly So you think you're special? Well, think again: you're not. David McCullough Jr, a US high-school English teacher, found himself suddenly famous in 2012 when his commencement address to graduating high-school seniors went viral on Youtube. the main theme of that speech, 'You're not special', seemed to hit a nerve and validate a sense among people worldwide that something is deeply and fundamentally wrong with the way children are being raised today. From infancy, he observed, children are taught to believe they are unique and special, deserving of every advantage, destined for success. Consequently they learn to work hard and distinguish themselves for the sake of status and material reward rather than for the benefit of others - the larger community; the world. Success is defined as something almost entirely selfish. there is little attention or time given to the pursuit of education for the sake of wisdom, or even real happiness. Drawing from his long career as an educator and experience as a father of teenage boys, McCullough will expand upon the ideas laid out in his radical twelve-minute speech and argue that we can do better - as parents and as teachers - than fostering in our children a sense of privilege and entitlement. Watch the speech at: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lfxYhtf8o4 Or read it at: http://theswellesleyreport.com/2012/06/wellesley-high-grads-told-youre-not-special/




Wedding Toasts 101


Book Description

Write and present a memorable wedding toast with this light-hearted, humorous guide that gives you all the tools you’ll need for a successful speech—the perfect gift for any best man or maid of honor. As much as it’s an honor to be chosen as the best man or maid of honor at a wedding, giving the perfect speech can sometimes be nerve-wracking. Delivering a crowd-pleasing toast at the reception that has the right amount of humor and sentimentality is a daunting undertaking, no matter how advanced your public speaking skills are. Pete Honsberger’s guide to giving the perfect wedding toast provides even the most nervous of public speakers with all the tools and advice they need for writing and presenting the best toast ever. After witnessing speeches both good and bad, Honsberger shares a few bits of wisdom he’s learned along the way, providing building blocks to creating an unforgettable story along with helpful speech prompts, and the perfect checklist that will turn a potentially scary obligation into a golden opportunity. Wedding Toasts 101 presents a fun and simple way to write a successful wedding toast without all the stress so you can spend less time worrying and more time celebrating the happy couple.