Festive As F*ck


Book Description

Let’s face it - the holidays can be stressful. When the peppermint latte won’t cut it, you might find yourself in need of something to stab. A LOT. Now, you can release your holiday anxiety with some truly irreverent and silly sentiments, and make a couple of presents in the process! Featuring 20 patterns from the crafting world’s most bad-ass cross-stitchers, this book has everything from a simple “Ho” ornament to a sampler featuring Clark Griswold’s famous “Hallelujah, holy shit, where’s the Tylenol?” There is no previous experience required here! In addition to simple instructions and clear, easy-to-follow patterns, you get a basic lesson in cross-stitch technique, so anyone can make these designs. Stitch your stress away with a little “Hello Drunk, I’m Christmas” for your tree, or make a “Deck the Halls and Not Your Family” for your sibling. And above all, have a Happy F*cking Holiday! TOP DESIGNERS: Patterns created by some of the f*cking best-selling cross-stitch designers and influencers on Etsy 20 FESTIVE PATTERNS: Festive As F*ck includes 20 hilariously sassy patterns to help ease the stress of the holiday season EASY-TO-FOLLOW-DESIGNS: With simple instructions and clear and easy-to-follow patterns, even a novice potty-mouth can enjoy this filthy holiday fun INSPIRING IMAGES: Full-color images of the finished projects help ensure success and offer ideas of how to frame and display your festive artwork THE PERFECT SNARKY GIFT: Make the best f*cking gifts of the season with hilarious and irreverent cross stitch designs that will make anyone laugh their ass off.




Super Subversive Cross Stitch


Book Description

From the OG of the Subversive Cross Stitch movement (and brand of the same name) comes Super Subversive Cross Stitch. Featuring 50 easy-to-make designs—both brand-new patterns and fan favorites—stitched together with trademark wit. Don't freak out. Don't make this about you. May your life be as amazing as you pretend it is on Facebook. What fresh hell is this? Not today, Satan. Super Subversive Cross Stitch is here to provide crafters with the snarky inspirations they love to stitch. The book features 50 patterns—23 brand-new designs and 27 fan favorites—along with easy-to-follow instructions for the beginner and fonts and designs for adventurous crafters looking to customize their creations. It recasts a traditional, dare we say "sentimental," craft into a modern, relevant art form. It's the latest offering in the Subversive Cross Stitch brand, beloved by legions of DIYers. Less messy than graffiti, Super Subversive Cross Stitch allows crafters to adorn walls with political pith and irreverent twists on classic quotes ("I think, therefore I drink," "Let the good times be gin"). “This book reminds me that I'm not alone in being crafty and sweary all at the same time. Pass the gin.” —Jenny Lawson, New York Times–bestselling author of Furiously Happy, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, and Broken "Julie is the true OG of the subversive cross-stitch movement. Modern cross-stitch design would not be what it is today without her. She is a positive and supportive force in the cross-stitch community, providing mentorship to other designers and welcoming new stitchers into the hobby. I am so excited about her new book!" —Stephanie Rohr, author of Feminist Cross-Stitch




It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like F*ck This


Book Description

"If you're looking for something tart to cut the holiday sweetness, Shaffer offers a naughty little treat." -- The Gazette "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like F*ck This" is an off-beat collection of Christmas parodies, essays, poems, and cartoons by New York Times bestselling humorist Andrew Shaffer. Previously published as "The Shelf on the Elf," this newly-expanded holiday cult classic has it all: holiday pickles, regret, talking lambs, and knife-wielding maniacs.




Happy F*cking Holidays


Book Description

From the creator of the Best Seller Calm the Fck Down 'Tis the season to get snarky! It's that time again. Time to put on your elastic waistband pants, spike your eggnog, and brace yourself for the crazy "Holidaze". Why let the dark days of winter get you down when you can enjoy your own cynical and sassy Christmas coloring adventure? This holiday season, color the things you can't say and still keep Peace on Earth. Happy fucking Holidays is an irreverent and subversive take on Christmas and is the perfect way to unwind and relax for Christmas. It's an ideal gift, for anyone who is stressed, and for those with a subversive and irreverent sense of humor. Enjoy these humorous illustrations that let you fill your holiday season with inappropriate and unapologetic joy. Includes 26 single-sided adult coloring pages and 2 color test pages. Illustrations range from Simple to complex to color, and most are moderate in detail. Irreverent Images include: Santa, ornaments, a cat, a snowman, an Elf, candy canes, wreaths, reindeer, and many more... Sassy sayings include: It's beginning to feel a lot like fuck this, I peed in your eggnog, sweet and twisted, naughty, kiss my ass, fat judgmental bastard, sleigh me, and many more humorous and subversive sayings.... For more information, for free coloring page downloads, contests and more, visit www.sashaohara.com CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE. NOT INTENDED FOR CHILDREN.




Holiday in Death


Book Description

Lieutenant Eve Dallas tails a serial killer who has a passion for the "Twelve Days of Christmas" in this novel in the #1 New York Times bestselling In Death series. No one likes to be alone during the holidays. For New York's most posh dating service, Personally Yours, it is the season to bring lonely hearts together. But Lieutenant Eve Dallas, on the trail of a ritualistic serial killer who likes to dress up as Santa Claus, has made a disturbing discovery: all of the victims have been traced to Personally Yours. As the murders continue, Eve enters into an elite world of people searching for their one true love. A world where the power of love leads men and women into the ultimate act of betrayal...




In Rod We Trust Some More


Book Description

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. Who isn’t familiar with that phrase and concept? The third eye, what exists beyond or beneath our own daily earthly experience, Heaven, Hell, worlds beyond sight and sound, concepts beyond normal human experience. Michigan horror writer Tom Sawyer (White Out, Dark Harbors) presents his fourth collection inspired by Rod Serling’s The Twilight Zone television series and every thrilling tale in this collection portrays many captivating characters from many time periods told in the unique and original way only the author can convey, and we are certain Rod himself would be proud. Black Bed Sheet Books proudly presents In Rod We Trust Some More.




The Liar


Book Description

The extraordinary new novel by the #1 New York Times–bestselling author of The Collector. Shelby Foxworth lost her husband. Then she lost her illusions … The man who took her from Tennessee to an exclusive Philadelphia suburb left her in crippling debt. He was an adulterer and a liar, and when Shelby tracks down his safe-deposit box, she finds multiple IDs. The man she loved wasn’t just dead. He never really existed. Shelby takes her three-year-old daughter and heads south to seek comfort in her hometown, where she meets someone new: Griff Lott, a successful contractor. But her husband had secrets she has yet to discover. Even in this small town, surrounded by loved ones, danger is closer than she knows—and threatens Griff, as well. And an attempted murder is only the beginning …




Things We Do in the Dark


Book Description

"Propulsive and chilling." --People Magazine "An intoxicating thrill ride. Hillier jams her foot on the accelerator and never lets up." --New York Times Book Review Things We Do in the Dark is a brilliant new thriller from Jennifer Hillier, the award-winning author of the breakout novels Little Secrets and Jar of Hearts. Paris Peralta is suspected of killing her celebrity husband, and her long-hidden past now threatens to destroy her future. When Paris Peralta is arrested in her own bathroom—covered in blood, holding a straight razor, her celebrity husband dead in the bathtub behind her—she knows she'll be charged with murder. But as bad as this looks, it's not what worries her the most. With the unwanted media attention now surrounding her, it's only a matter of time before someone from her long hidden past recognizes her and destroys the new life she's worked so hard to build, along with any chance of a future. Twenty-five years earlier, Ruby Reyes, known as the Ice Queen, was convicted of a similar murder in a trial that riveted Canada in the early nineties. Reyes knows who Paris really is, and when she's unexpectedly released from prison, she threatens to expose all of Paris's secrets. Left with no other choice, Paris must finally confront the dark past she escaped, once and for all. Because the only thing worse than a murder charge are two murder charges.




Dearest Series Boxed Set


Book Description

All three books of the bestselling Dearest series—Dearest Clementine, Finding Dandelion, and Kissing Madeline—are included in this box set, along with exclusive bonus content. Each full-length companion novel features a different couple. DEAREST CLEMENTINE (a bestselling contemporary romance) When Clementine Avery swore off men, she had no idea she'd need real life experience for that romance writing class she accidentally signed up for last spring. Fortunately, sexy RA Gavin Murphy offers to help her find a little inspiration... in the name of academics, of course. FINDING DANDELION (#1 sports fiction and a bestselling sports romance) Hooking up with that ridiculously attractive guy at the club should've been an easy item to check off Dani Hart's bucket list. But when Dani realizes the hottie is her snarky new roommate's brother, what should've been uncomplicated suddenly isn't. KISSING MADELINE (#1 sports fiction and a bestselling sports romance) Maddie McDermott won’t let anyone stand in her way of becoming a broadcast reporter, not even the subject of her new segments—her hot new neighbor Daren Sloan, the NFL's latest "it boy" and star quarterback. Daren doesn't seem to care that Maddie can't stand him. In fact, he'd love nothing more than to show her that being friends has its benefits. This new adult series features three best friends and their journey to find love. For readers who enjoy sports romances, fake dating, friends with benefits, sexy quarterbacks, humor, heart, and steam!




The Holiday Collection


Book Description

Broken Hearts & Happy Endings is KL Donn’s signature story telling. In this massive collection of books you’ll get to enjoy more than one genre or trope while getting the stories you love. Broken Hearts & Happy Endings - Volume 7: The Holiday Collection - Who doesn’t love, love at Christmas? Get ready for some quickies before Santa comes! Includes: Dear Desmond Snowed In Holly’s Knight Last Chance Love Snow Me A Favor