Book Description

Unflinchingly honest yet deeply optimistic, the volume is based on a complex therapeutic process that Dr. Hargrave has used - quite successfully - with numerous clients who have suffered severe violations of love and trust within their intergenerational families. He conceptualizes the work of forgiveness as four "stations" on the journey toward this goal. These include Station One: Insight, which addresses the origins of family pain and how insight can be used to make initial inroads to trustworthiness by stopping and blocking the perpetuation of unjustified and harmful actions. Station Two: Understanding pertains to the origins of guilt and shame and how the client can rework his or her perspective to ultimately reduce pain. The tough and risky work of forgiveness is the subject of Station Three: Giving the Opportunity for Compensation. It is here that forgiving is considered as a process by which the victim gives the victimizer the opportunity to demonstrate love and trust in the present so that the family can be reworked. Station Four: The Overt Act of Forgiveness is a step-by-step process, whereby a confrontation between the victim and relational culprit can result in a restoration of love and trust. The author provides vivid case histories from his own practice that demonstrate how each of the four stations plays out in a therapeutic situation. Practitioners will also benefit greatly from a discussion of the therapeutic issues facing the therapist who ishelping an individual or family work through painful violations. Dr. Hargrave addresses the goals, pace, and assessment of forgiveness - ever vigilant to maintain the client's integrity and protection - as well as the role the therapist should play in each station.