Horse's Arse


Book Description

It is the Seventies and Horse’s Arse is the affectionate name for Handstead New Town, a North Manchester overspill and an unholy dump. The police use it as a penal posting – all the bad egg coppers end up there. Worst amongst the residents of Handstead are the Park Royal Mafia, a gang of violent thugs who terrorise their neighbourhood. They and the officers doomed to serve at Handstead wrestle constantly for dominance. This is the story of some of those police officers - the Grim Brothers, Psycho, Pizza, Piggy Malone and others, a group of hooligans in uniform and their journey through excess, despair and finally some form of salvation...




Straight from the Horse's Ass


Book Description

A Kiwi cowboy and his stubborn horse (nicknamed ‘Goddammityou-sonavabitch’) ride through America. Here’s how an ‘averagely dumb city-slicker’ looking for something to do on his summer holiday saw Dances With Wolves and was seduced by the lure of the West. Together with a small stubborn horse rescued from a career in the Belgian sausage industry, he travelled 3500 miles down the Rocky Mountains from Canada to Mexico. When Lee Hughes began, he didn’t know how to ride, and his horse, Spice (also known by his Indian name of ‘Goddammityou-sonavabitch’), wasn’t giving lessons either. Their relationship wasn’t exactly a partnership, more of an armed truce, but nevertheless they crossed rivers and deserts, mountains and plains, dodged buffalo and bears, moose and mountain lions, met policemen and preachers, cowboys and Indians, Democrats and all manner of respectable folk as well. They made it to Mexico only nine months late. Bones were broken, six-guns roared in anger and quicksands were explored the hard way. There were feasts, famines and some world-class drinking. Good deeds were done and dark ones concealed. And a good horse died. Around wintertime Lee and Spice bluffed their way on to a ranch and played at being a cowboy and a cowpony. 7000 cattle went along with the joke until summer, and then they headed south again, saddlebags bulging with rolled oats, baked beans and Cheez Whiz. What started out as just a summer holiday, grew until it filled a year with excitement and laughter, panic and peril and, ultimately, became this ‘mostly true story without too many lies or bits left out’.




The Horse's Arse


Book Description




You Can't Ride Two Horses with One Ass


Book Description

What is the biggest threat to your brand today? Most leaders think its disruption, competition, cyber attacks or the economy. The truth is the real enemy is between your ears. Thinking outside the box, scaling and partnerships can sabotage your brand. Even your company mission can undermine it. You Can't Ride Two Horses With One Ass turns conventional brand thinking on its ear and teaches you a new ethos: How to grow your business by protecting your brand. Much like category-killers Southwest Airlines, Google and many of the author's own clients do, you'll learn how to think like a brand, not a business; be more desirable, instead of more available; detect organizational blind spots that can subvert the brand; and build a bridge between company purpose and customer promise-the missing link to exceptional cultural engagement and brand fidelity.




Hornet's Sting


Book Description

It's 1917, and Captain Stanley Woolley joins an R.F.C. squadron whose pilots are starting to fear the worst: their war over the Western Front may go on for years. A pilot's life is usually short, so while it lasts it is celebrated strenuously. Distractions from the brutality of the air war include British nurses; eccentric Russian pilots; bureaucratic battles over the plum-jam ration; rat-hunting with Very pistols; and the C.O.'s patent, potent cocktail, known as "Hornet's Sting." But as the summer offensives boil up, none of these can offer any lasting comfort.




London Rules


Book Description

Ian Fleming. John le Carré. Len Deighton. Mick Herron. The brilliant plotting of Herron’s twice CWA Dagger Award-winning Slough House series of spy novels is matched only by his storytelling gift and an ear for viciously funny political satire. “Mick Herron is the John le Carré of our generation.”—Val McDermid At MI5 headquarters Regent’s Park, First Desk Claude Whelan is learning the ropes the hard way. Tasked with protecting a beleaguered prime minister, he’s facing attack from all directions: from the showboating MP who orchestrated the Brexit vote, and now has his sights set on Number Ten; from the showboat’s wife, a tabloid columnist, who’s crucifying Whelan in print; from the PM’s favorite Muslim, who’s about to be elected mayor of the West Midlands, despite the dark secret he’s hiding; and especially from his own deputy, Lady Di Taverner, who’s alert for Claude’s every stumble. Meanwhile, the country’s being rocked by an apparently random string of terror attacks. Over at Slough House, the MI5 satellite office for outcast and demoted spies, the agents are struggling with personal problems: repressed grief, various addictions, retail paralysis, and the nagging suspicion that their newest colleague is a psychopath. Plus someone is trying to kill Roddy Ho. But collectively, they’re about to rediscover their greatest strength—that of making a bad situation much, much worse. It’s a good thing Jackson Lamb knows the rules. Because those things aren’t going to break themselves.




I need a new bum


Book Description

I need a new bum! Mine's got a crack. I can see in the mirror a crack in the back. What to do when you need a new bum? Should you get one that's blue or yellow spotted? A Chevy bum, a rocket bum that's all fire and thrust, or a robo-bum? The options are endless - but wait, Dad's bum crack is showing too? Maybe this is contagious.




Slow Horses


Book Description

Who can you trust when nothing's as it seems?




Ah Cannae Tell a Lie!


Book Description

The adventures of Harry the Polis - the self-appointed Chief Constable of funny stories - continue with this hilarious new collection. Join Harry on his new adventures as he tackles speeding motorists, visits the Blackhills of Glesca, calls time on some barking dogs, gets some Devine intervention and meets some gorgeous girls as he falls victim to the Braehead Scam. With twenty-nine years in the Strathclyde Polis under his belt, there are tales, laughs and adventures aplenty as Harry the Polis is back on the beat once more. And it's all true . . . honest! 'His books are a laugh on every page' Bob Shields, Daily Record




Rumanian Folk Music


Book Description

n the first volume of Rumanian Folk Music (Instrumental Melodies) I portions of Bela Bart6k's subsequently-discarded preface, concern ing the fate of his folklore publications, are presented in explanation of the editorial processes necessary for achieving the publication. 1 By way of introduction to this revised edition of a previous, although in complete, published version of the Rumanian Carols and Christmas Songs (Colinde), we refer again to the author's suppressed lines which pertain to this volume: The second publication by the same publisher was to include my collection of Rumanian Colindas (Winter-solstice songs). Their extremely interesting texts were supposed to appear in original as well as in English. After several years of delay, the translation to English prose was completed, one part in adequate archaic English, the rest (by someone else) in most unsuitable Kitchen-English. The publisher did not wish to change this, though. Result: I published the book at my own expense; however, only the musical part, because of lack of sufficient funds. The texts are still in manuscript, even today. 2 Our primary aim, therefore, has been to unite the Rumanian poetic texts and translations with the musical part, in one volume, as was the desire of the author.