Don't Read This Book If You're Stupid


Book Description

A dazzling collection of short fiction, containing stories published in New Writing and the Times Literary Supplement, as well as several new stories. The Novella 'I Like being Killed' takes the lid off the comedy scene in London, investigates where jokes come from and how you can make people laugh with only one toothpick and a foreskin. Other stories visit Brixton prison and German bookshops, contemplate the tanning of Russian bottoms on the Côte d'Azur, offer advice on driving during Romanian revolutions, explain what to do with fifty uselessnesses, give tips on successful and painless serial killing and demonstrate conclusively that no-one should live in South London. Praise for Don't Read This Book If You're Stupid: 'One of the funniest literary intellects' Steven Poole, The Guardian 'A stylish, slickly readable, frequently schoolboyish, now and then absurd comic bagatelle which also manages, somehow or other, to be worldly wise, subversive, and not a little creepy' Henry Hitchings, Independent 'Tibor Fischer is the Ali G of literature..... Perhaps the best tribute to Fischer is that he is one of the handful of authors of whom one asks in hopeful anticipation what he or she is going to do next' George Walden, New Statesman




Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead


Book Description

"Gilda, a twenty-something, atheist, animal-loving lesbian, cannot stop ruminating about death. Desperate for relief from her panicky mind and alienated from her repressive family, she responds to a flyer for free therapy at a local Catholic church, and finds herself being greeted by Father Jeff, who assumes she's there for a job interview. Too embarrassed to correct him, Gilda is abruptly hired to replace the recently deceased receptionist Grace. In between trying to memorize the lines to Catholic mass, hiding the fact that she has a new girlfriend, and erecting a dirty dish tower in her crumbling apartment, Gilda strikes up an email correspondence with Grace's old friend. She can't bear to ignore the kindly old woman, who has been trying to reach her friend through the church inbox, but she also can't bring herself to break the bad news. Desperate, she begins impersonating Grace via email. But when the police discover suspicious circumstances surrounding Grace's death, Gilda may have to finally reveal the truth of her mortifying existence."--Amazon.




Like Being Killed


Book Description

Profoundly hypnotic and deeply disturbing: 'I could never predict what was going to ruin me and what was going to rescue me.' says Ilyana Meyerovitch, a self-confessed suicidal, strung-out Jew. Into her life, and her flat, walks her opposite - Susie Lyons - blonde, artistic, optimistic and above all, innocent. LIKE BEING KILLED is about the devastating effects the two women have on each other as they start to share more than a flat. Simultaneously drawn to Susie's wholesome values and repelled, Ilyana's desire for what Susie has will take her into the grip of a downward spiral whose only outcome is oblivion. LIKE BEING KILLED is the 90s brat-pack gone wrong. A novel of drugs, dependency and the myth of sisterhood, it takes the trust implicit in flat-sharing to its ultimate conclusion.....




Signal Fires


Book Description

NATIONAL BEST SELLER • From the beloved author of Inheritance: "a haunting, moving, and propulsive exploration of family secrets” (Meg Wolitzer, author of The Interestings) Two families. One night. A constellation of lives changed forever. A TIME Best Fiction Book of the Year • A Washington Post Notable Work of Fiction • A Real Simple Best Book of the Year An ancient majestic oak stands beneath the stars on Division Street. And under the tree sits Ben Wilf, a retired doctor, and ten-year-old Waldo Shenkman, a brilliant, lonely boy who is pointing out his favorite constellations. Waldo doesn’t realize it but he and Ben have met before. And they will again, and again. Across time and space, and shared destiny. Division Street is full of secrets. An impulsive lie begets a secret—one which will forever haunt the Wilf family. And the Shenkmans, who move into the neighborhood many years later, bring secrets of their own.. Spanning fifty kaleidoscopic years, on a street—and in a galaxy—where stars collapse and stories collide, these two families become bound in ways they never could have imagined. Urgent and compassionate, Signal Fires is a magical story for our times, a literary tour de force by a masterful storyteller at the height of her powers. A luminous meditation on family, memory, and the healing power of interconnectedness.




Dexter Is Dead


Book Description

Dexter Morgan—blood-spatter analyst, husband, father, serial killer—knew that he couldn’t burn the candle at both ends forever, and now, his dark deeds have finally ensnared him. • The Killer Character That Inspired the Hit Showtime Series Dexter He is in prison on multiple homicide charges, although, ironically, he did not commit any of the murders of which he is accused. He’s lost everything: his wife, kids, career, and the loyalty of his sister. Now his sole, small shot at redemption may come from his brother, Brian, a homicidal maniac who makes Dexter look like the angel in the family. By helping Brian through some serious trouble of his own making, Dexter sees a potential path to proving himself innocent. But the stakes are truly deadly. And, with nothing left to hold him back, Dexter hurtles into an epic showdown ... which may be his last.




Being Dead


Book Description

A National Book Critics Circle Awards Winner From the author of Quarantine comes Being Dead, Jim Crace's haunting novel about love, death, and the afterlife. Baritone Bay, mid-afternoon. A couple, naked, married almost thirty years, are lying murdered in the dunes. "Their bodies had expired, but anyone could tell--just look at them--that Joseph and Celice were still devoted. For while his hand was touching her, curved round her shin, the couple seemed to have achieved that peace the world denies, a period of grace, defying even murder. Anyone who found them there, so wickedly disfigured, would nevertheless be bound to see that something of their love had survived the death of cells. The corpses were surrendered to the weather and the earth, but they were still a man and wife, quietly resting; flesh on flesh; dead, but not departed yet."




Play Dead


Book Description

Identity, gender, and race politics all collide ferociously in this unflinching collection that actively cuts through cultural and social constructs.




If I Am Missing Or Dead


Book Description

Based on an award-winning article published in "O, The Oprah Magazine," Latus has crafted a heart wrenching memoir about two intelligent, attractive sisters--one of whom escaped years of abuse by men--and one who did not.




Living Dead Girl


Book Description

After his estranged wife disappears, a husband returns to the remote lake house where their young daughter died, and he soon loses his grip on reality. Paul Luden has been haunted by a memory he can't recall. Whatever happened to his marriage, to his two-year-old daughter, is too traumatic to remember, so his unconscious has chosen to block out key details. But when he receives a phone call from the small lake town where they'd lived, telling him that no one had seen or heard from his wife in ten days, he knows what he has to do. He and his nineteen-year-old girlfriend drive from L.A. to Washington State where he's forced to confront his past. And as he pieces together his buried memories, Paul unravels mentally, falls into self-destructive trances and ultimately discovers the truth about his wife.




As Good as Dead


Book Description

THE MUST-READ MULTIMILLION BESTSELLING MYSTERY SERIES • The final book in the A Good Girl's Guide to Murder series that reads like your favorite true crime podcast or show. By the end, you'll never think of good girls the same way again... Pip is about to head to college, but she is still haunted by the way her last investigation ended. She’s used to online death threats in the wake of her viral true-crime podcast, but she can’t help noticing an anonymous person who keeps asking her: Who will look for you when you’re the one who disappears? Soon the threats escalate and Pip realizes that someone is following her in real life. When she starts to find connections between her stalker and a local serial killer caught six years ago, she wonders if maybe the wrong man is behind bars. Police refuse to act, so Pip has only one choice: find the suspect herself—or be the next victim. As the deadly game plays out, Pip discovers that everything in her small town is coming full circle . . .and if she doesn’t find the answers, this time she will be the one who disappears. . . And don't miss Holly Jackson's next thriller, Five Surive!