The Book of Old Sayings with Some New Sayings


Book Description

As a student of philosophy, I took interest in it. History was also a favorite study. I was an A student in English. I liked to read and write. Creative writing was fun to do. Over the years, as I traveled and worked on ships and construction sites, I developed my manhood, you might say. I matured around men who talked filthy, played the dozen, and told a lot of jokes. Of course, I was influenced by some of this. I picked up on a lot of jokes and old sayings, mostly from older men. Throughout the years, I had remembered quite a few. My friends used to call me a philosopher. I had a saying for everything. Over the years, I realized everyone had picked up their share of sayings as well. I started writing them down because they were so many I couldnt remember them. Then I realized the wisdom in them and came up with the idea to put them in a book form for reference. I felt that some could read this book and be educated by all the wisdom. Where else could you find a collection of so many sayings that will leave you with curiosity, laughter, and wisdom?




Let's Pretend This Never Happened


Book Description

The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside




The Cowboy's Thirty-Day Fling


Book Description

She swears off men…only to be tempted into forever. Brea Gates is done. After surrendering her paycheck, her body, and her ever-lovin’ soul to a string of worthless exes—the most recent of whom lands her in jail—she decides she’s better off staying single and investing in batteries. Her friends from offbeat little Haven, Texas, bail her out and offer her a place to start over. Maybe now she’ll find some peace. With her luck? Pfft… The instant rough-hewn cowboy Sawyer Grayson sees Brea, he sets his sights on her. Since he’s temptation on two legs, no amount of dodging, dipping, ducking, or diving will save her man ban. How much can it hurt to enjoy a no-strings fling with the Stetson-wearing Romeo for thirty days? After the fun is over, she’ll trade in her spontaneity, thongs, and well-sated hormones for cozy mysteries and granny panties. But Sawyer has a different offer, one that might change her mind—and her single status…




Confessions of a High School Disaster


Book Description

"Chloe Snow chonicles a year in her high school life, sharing the highs and lows of family, friendship, school, and love"--




Roman Wolfe 3: the Problem of Evil


Book Description

What kind of maniacal deviant preys on young teenage girls and viciously terrorizes a small town in upstate New York? Roman Wolfe, a.k.a. Wolfman, is a Vietnam combat veteran who had specialized in the stealthy, nighttime-stalking and killing of the enemy. After the war Roman gets a college education and becomes an elementary school teacher who is still haunted by his violent war experiences on the killing fields and in the jungles of Vietnam. Roman feels the need to end his teaching career when his schools community is informed about his specialized actions in Vietnam and many parents react negatively. When most parents no longer want their children placed in Romans classroom, he resigns his teaching position and becomes a Private Investigator who prefers to handle cases involving children. Shortly after becoming a PI, his two high-ranking state trooper friends ask him for help as a consultant in solving a serial murders case involving the killing of female children. Now Wolfman must emerge again to hunt a sadistic, but intelligent killer.




Git-R-Done


Book Description

Git-R-Done is chock-full of fart jokes and straight talk about America. I sat down one day and said to myself, “Larry, you’ve done it all. You’ve got three gold records, a successful DVD, a hit TV show, a picture of Shania Twain givin’ ya the finger, and most important, the high score on Frogger. What more could you possibly do?” Then I started thinking about writing a book. I wanted mostly to write Git-R-Done for all those good Americans who just wanna laugh like I do. Come on inside and hear me make fun of Janet Reno, Rosie O’Donnell, and my fat sister, who caused a twelve-tray pileup in front of the caramel nut rolls at the country buffet. I’m gonna tell you why Dick Trickle is my hero, why we need to get back to good ol’ common sense, and why I prefer a picture of the Last Supper with NASCAR drivers as the disciples over just about anything. Lord, I apologize! The book will go down in history as one of America’s most important events since the breakup of Aldo Nova. Even my mom liked the book—here’s what she said: “There’s really not much I can say here except for I apologize to everyone ahead of time for the crap you are about to read.” Git-R-Done is just plain funny, I don’t care who ya are! Also available as an eBook.




The Ecstacy of Loving God


Book Description

Ecstasy, or extasis, is the Greek term for trance, and is linked with a pleasurable, God-given state of out-of-body experience recorded throughout the New Testament and the church age. Starting with the apostles ecstatic experiences on Pentecost, the Book of Acts further records trances in the lives of Peter and Paul. From the early church to the Christian mystics of the Middle Ages and the famous revivalists of centuries present, God s movements on the earth have always been marked by these supernatural experiences. In this book, John Crowder takes us on a journey from Old Testament ecstatic prophets such as Samuel and Elijah, to the future ecstatics who will usher in a massive wave of harvest Glory to the streets in these last days. God has always wanted a people who live in the Heavens, even as they walk on the Earth. And the world is hungry for the demonstration of a gospel of supernatural power that flows from a life of divine pleasure. More than a state of mind, you will see how the nature of God s ecstasy is found in the joy, bliss and inner raptures of His presence. In this book, you will be encouraged to drink from the river of His pleasure! (Ps. 36:8)




Paradise Dogs


Book Description

Adam Newman once had it all. But then he lost it. Now Adam yearns to reunite with his estranged wife, Evelyn, and recapture the Edenic life they once had running Paradise Dogs, the roadside hot-dog restaurant now legendary throughout central Florida. He has a few obstacles along the way. For starters, there's his impending marriage to Lily. There's also the matter of a quarter million dollars' worth of diamonds that he mislaid, along with what appears to be a shadowy conspiracy that is buying up land around the Cross-Florida Canal (and which may or may not be a product of Adam's alcohol-infused imagination). Despite his own troubles---and a brief stay in Chattahoochee---Adam looks to mentor his son, Addison, in the ways of love. Awkward, unsure, and employed as the world's least accurate obituary writer, Addison pines for a beautiful and painfully earnest linguistic student but must compete for her attention with his older and more sophisticated half brother from Evelyn's first marriage. But if anybody can set these worlds in order, it is Adam, who has an uncanny knack for being in the right place at the right time and allowing others to believe he's someone he's not. Whether it's delivering a baby, rescuing a marriage, or exposing a Communist conspiracy, our protagonist is up for the job. Paradise Dogs, from Georgia Author of the Year Award winner Man Martin, is a farcical tale of paradise lost, the American Dream, and the true measures of love




Maniac Magee (Newbery Medal Winner)


Book Description

A Newbery Medal winning modern classic about a racially divided small town and a boy who runs. Jeffrey Lionel "Maniac" Magee might have lived a normal life if a freak accident hadn't made him an orphan. After living with his unhappy and uptight aunt and uncle for eight years, he decides to run--and not just run away, but run. This is where the myth of Maniac Magee begins, as he changes the lives of a racially divided small town with his amazing and legendary feats.




Daughter of the White River


Book Description

The tragic, true story of Helen Spence, the teenager who murdered her father’s killers in the insulated lower White River area of Arkansas in 1931. The once-thriving houseboat communities along Arkansas’s White River are long gone, and few remember the sensational murder story that set local darling Helen Spence on a tragic path. In 1931, Spence shocked Arkansas when she avenged her father’s murder in a DeWitt courtroom. The state soon discovered that no prison could hold her. For the first time, prison records are unveiled to provide an essential portrait. Join author Denise Parkinson for an intimate look at a Depression-era tragedy. The legend of Helen Spence refuses to be forgotten—despite her unmarked grave. “Most memorably, Parkinson evokes the natural beauty of the White River itself. But more importantly, she’s given Helen Spence, daughter of the river, a sympathetic hearing—something in its pulp version of events Daring Detective did not.”—Memphis Flyer “Denise details Helen’s life, from the murder of her father to the horrific treatment she received at the hands of the law, including how prison officials seemed to entice her to escape a final time, with the attempt culminating in her murder.”—Only in Arkansas