Idiots in Charge


Book Description

Nothing is more important in the face of a war than cutting taxes." --Tom DeLay, America's Community Bankers meeting, March 12, 2003 * After revealing absurd 911 phone calls and America's dumbest criminal antics, former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory skewers political pandering and pen-pushing philosophizing. Leland Gregory generates the best laughs by exposing the worst of human nature. Inside Idiots in Charge: Lies, Trick, Misdeeds, and Other Political Untruthiness Gregory offers more than 250 accounts of bumbling bureaucrats on both sides of political party lines: * David Spellman became mayor of Black Hawk, Colo., on July 12, 2006, a week after pleading guilty to felony menacing and third-degree assault for pistol-whipping his wife with a handgun and firing three shots in 2005. * County officials in Vermillion, Ind., were told by state homeland security officials in July 2006 to stop using the special emergency-only highway message boards to advertise their charity fish fries and spaghetti dinners. * District 1 Town Councilor David Watson resigned from his position as council vice chairman on January 23, 2007, after unintentionally forwarding an e-mail to 18 members of the New Elementary School Building Committee. The e-mail contained nine embedded images of topless women under the heading "This Is National Women's Breast Awareness Day." The only other text in the e-mail read, "Beats . . . Martin Luther King Day, doesn't it?"




An Utterly Impartial History of Britain, Or, 2000 Years of Upper-class Idiots in Charge


Book Description

Many of us were put off history by the dry and dreary way it was taught at school. Back then -~The Origins of the Industrial Revolution' somehow seemed less compelling than the chance to test the bold claim on Timothy Johnson's -~Shatterproof' ruler.But here at last is a chance to have a good laugh and learn all that stuff you feel you really ought to know by now... In this -~Horrible History for Grown Ups' you can read how Anglo-Saxon liberals struggled to be positive about immigration; -~Look I think we have to try and respect the religious customs of our new Viking friends -" oi, he's nicked my bloody ox!'Discover how England's peculiar class system was established by some snobby French nobles whose posh descendents still have wine cellars and second homes in the Dordogne today. And explore the complex socio-economic reasons why Britain's kings were the first in Europe to be brought to heel; (because the Stuarts were such a useless bunch of untalented, incompetent, arrogant, upper-class thickoes that Parliament didn't have much choice.) A book about then that is also incisive and illuminating about now, -~2000 Years of Upper Class Idiots in Charge', is an hilarious, informative and cantankerous journey through Britain' fascinating and bizarre history.As entertaining as a witch burning, and a lot more laughs.




Surrounded by Idiots


Book Description

Do you ever think you’re the only one making any sense? Or tried to reason with your partner with disastrous results? Do long, rambling answers drive you crazy? Or does your colleague’s abrasive manner rub you the wrong way? You are not alone. After a disastrous meeting with a highly successful entrepreneur, who was genuinely convinced he was ‘surrounded by idiots’, communication expert and bestselling author, Thomas Erikson dedicated himself to understanding how people function and why we often struggle to connect with certain types of people. Surrounded by Idiots is an international phenomenon, selling over 1.5 million copies worldwide. It offers a simple, yet ground-breaking method for assessing the personalities of people we communicate with – in and out of the office – based on four personality types (Red, Blue, Green and Yellow), and provides insights into how we can adjust the way we speak and share information. Erikson will help you understand yourself better, hone communication and social skills, handle conflict with confidence, improve dynamics with your boss and team, and get the best out of the people you deal with and manage. He also shares simple tricks on body language, improving written communication, advice on when to back away or when to push on, and when to speak up or shut up. Packed with ‘aha!’ and ‘oh no!’ moments, Surrounded by Idiots will help you understand and communicate with those around you, even people you currently think are beyond all comprehension. And with a bit of luck you can also be confident that the idiot out there isn’t you!




HOW TO WORK FOR AN IDIOT (EasyRead Large Bold Edition)


Book Description

John Hoover, an organizational leadership consultant, discusses how to deal with an "Idiot Boss" - or I-Boss - who does stupid things. Hoover distinguishes idiots from other tricky bosses, including those who think they are God, or who are paranoid, sadistic or Machiavellian. He leaves the reader with a couple of issues. First, you'll think no good, caring bosses still exist. Second, he doesn't tell you clearly where to set boundaries or when enough is finally enough. He often advocates appeasing bad bosses, although his other counsel on how to deal with them has some effective pointers. To his credit, Hoover is very candid about how he has learned from experience, including his mistakes. He offers personal examples from his experiences at Disney and elsewhere, and tries to write in a light-hearted or whimsical vein. getAbstract.com finds the book strongest when it is strategic and weakest when it tries to be funny, given that with bad bosses you only laugh to keep from crying.




Control Systems for Complete Idiots


Book Description

In this day and age everything around us is automatic and our desire to automate more stuff is only increasing. Control systems finds its applications in everything you can possibly think of. The concept of Control system plays an important role in the working of, everything from home appliances to guided missiles to self-driving cars. These are just the examples of Control systems we create. Control systems also exist in nature. Within our own body, there are numerous control systems, such as the pancreas, which regulate our blood sugar. In the most abstract sense it is possible to consider every physical object a control system. Hence from an engineering perspective, it is absolutely crucial to be familiar with the analysis and designing methods of such Control systems. Control systems is one of those subjects that go beyond a particular branch of engineering. Control systems find its application in Mechanical, Electrical, Electronics, Civil Engineering and many other branches of engineering. Although this book is written in an Electrical engineering context, we are sure that others can also easily follow the topics and learn a thing or two about Control systems.In this book we provide a concise introduction into classical Control theory. A basic knowledge of Calculus and some Physics are the only prerequisites required to follow the topics discussed in the book. In this book, We've tried to explain the various fundamental concepts of Control Theory in an intuitive manner with minimum math. Also, We've tried to connect the various topics with real life situations wherever possible. This way even first timers can learn the basics of Control systems with minimum effort. Hopefully the students will enjoy this different approach to Control Systems. The various concepts of the subject are arranged logically and explained in a simple reader-friendly language with MATLAB examples.This book is not meant to be a replacement for those standard Control systems textbooks, rather this book should be viewed as an introductory text for beginners to come in grips with advanced level topics covered in those books. This book will hopefully serve as inspiration to learn Control systems in greater depths.




How to Deal With Idiots


Book Description

Idiocy is all around us, whether it's the uncle spouting conspiracy theories, the colleagues who repeat your point but louder, or the commuters who still don't know how to use an escalator. But what is the answer to this perpetual scourge? Here, philosopher Maxime Rovere turns his attention to the murkiest of intellectual corners. With warmth, wit and wisdom, he illuminates a new understanding of idiots, one which examines our relations to others and our own ego, offers tools and strategies to dismantle the most desperate of idiotic situations, and even reveals how to stop being the idiots ourselves (because we're always someone else's idiot). Expertly translated by David Bellos, this is an erudite, enjoyable and much-needed solution to a most familiar vexation.




Arguing with Idiots


Book Description

Glenn Beck, the New York Times bestselling author of The Great Reset, provides the ultimate handbook for tackling and winning life’s most important arguments. FUNNY. FRIGHTENING. TRUE. The #1 New York Times bestseller that gives you the right answers when idiots leave you speechless! It happens to all of us: You’re minding your own business, when some idiot* informs you that guns are evil, the Prius will save the planet, or the rich have to finally start paying their fair share of taxes. Just go away! you think to yourself—but they only get more obnoxious. Your heart rate quickens. You start to sweat. But never fear, for Glenn Beck has stumbled upon the secret formula to winning arguments against people with big mouths and small minds: knowing the facts. And this book is full of them. The next time your Idiot Friends tell you how gun control prevents gun violence, you’ll tell them all about England’s handgun ban (see page 53). When they insist that we should copy the UK’s health-care system, you’ll recount the horrifying facts you read on page 244. And the next time you hear how produce prices will skyrocket without illegal workers, you’ll have the perfect rebuttal (from page 139). Armed with the ultimate weapon—the truth—you can now tolerate (and who knows, maybe even enjoy?) your encounters with idiots everywhere! *Idiots can’t be identified through voting records; look instead for people who hide behind stereotypes, embrace partisanship, and believe that bumper sticker slogans are a substitute for common sense.




The Complete Idiot's Guide to Human Resource Management


Book Description

You’re no idiot, of course. You know that your employees are essential to your company’s success. But when it comes to training, motivating, hiring, and firing them, you feel like a few of the many hats you wear don’t fit as well as they should. Don’t outsource your HR function just yet! The Complete Idiot’s Guide® to Human Resource Management will simplify everything you need to know about the people business. In this Complete Idiot’s Guide®, you learn: --How to locate, hire, and retain the most qualified people for positions. --What you need to know about the law and regulations to avoid costly legal battles. --How to organize and administer an effective compensation and benefits plan. --Training tools and techniques to boost employee motivation and performance.




Icons and Idiots


Book Description

When Bob Lutz retired from General Motors in 2010, after an unparalleled forty-seven-year career in the auto industry, he was one of the most respected leaders in American business. He had survived all kinds of managers over those decades: tough and timid, analytical and irrational, charismatic and antisocial, and some who seemed to shift frequently among all those traits. His experiences made him an expert on leadership, every bit as much as he was an expert on cars and trucks. Now Lutz is revealing the leaders-good, bad, and ugly-who made the strongest impression on him throughout his career. Icons and Idiots is a collection of shocking and often hilarious true stories and the lessons Lutz drew from them. From enduring the sadism of a Marine Corps drill instructor, to working with a washed-up alcoholic, to taking over the reins from a convicted felon, he reflects on the complexities of all-too-human leaders. No textbook or business school course can fully capture their idiosyncrasies, foibles and weaknesses - which can make or break companies in the real world. Lutz shows that we can learn just as much from the most stubborn, stupid, and corrupt leaders as we can from the inspiring geniuses. The result is a powerful and entertaining guide for any aspiring leader.




Do It! Marketing


Book Description

Discover the principles, practices, and insider secrets of paid professional speaking success in 77 instant-access “microchapters” that will help you market your smarts, monetize your message, and dramatically expand your reach and revenue. For thought-leading CEOs, executives, consultants, and entrepreneurs, the true test of your personal brand comes down to one simple question: When you speak, do people listen? In Do It! Speaking, nationally-acclaimed marketing expert and host of the The Speaking Show Podcast David Newman teaches you how to build a thriving speaking career. Regardless of the speaking venue: in-person events, virtual appearances, conference stages, and any other place where you are being paid to share your expertise with an audience, the powerful articulation of your value, relevance, and impact is what makes experts stand out. But where do you start when you’re trying to build your speaking platform? This book is the definitive guide on how to: Develop your speaking-driven revenue streams. Quickly commercialize your knowledge in today’s economy. Bolster your visibility, credibility, and bank account. Become a better messenger of your company’s message and dominate your marketplace. Do It! Speaking shows you the inside track on marketing, positioning, packaging, prospecting, outreach, sales, and how to get more and better speaking gigs on behalf of your company, your brand, and yourself.