If My Dogs Were a Pair of Middle-Aged Men


Book Description

In If My Dogs Were a Pair of Middle-Aged Men, Matthew Inman imagines, to hilarious effect, what life would be like if his dogs were a couple of old men running around his house. The result is a pitch-perfect gift for any dog owner.




My Dog: The Paradox


Book Description

This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep. In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog. We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”




The Other End of the Leash


Book Description

Learn to communicate with your dog—using their language “Good reading for dog lovers and an immensely useful manual for dog owners.”—The Washington Post An Applied Animal Behaviorist and dog trainer with more than twenty years’ experience, Dr. Patricia McConnell reveals a revolutionary new perspective on our relationship with dogs—sharing insights on how “man’s best friend” might interpret our behavior, as well as essential advice on how to interact with our four-legged friends in ways that bring out the best in them. After all, humans and dogs are two entirely different species, each shaped by its individual evolutionary heritage. Quite simply, humans are primates and dogs are canids (as are wolves, coyotes, and foxes). Since we each speak a different native tongue, a lot gets lost in the translation. This marvelous guide demonstrates how even the slightest changes in our voices and in the ways we stand can help dogs understand what we want. Inside you will discover: • How you can get your dog to come when called by acting less like a primate and more like a dog • Why the advice to “get dominance” over your dog can cause problems • Why “rough and tumble primate play” can lead to trouble—and how to play with your dog in ways that are fun and keep him out of mischief • How dogs and humans share personality types—and why most dogs want to live with benevolent leaders rather than “alpha wanna-bes!” Fascinating, insightful, and compelling, The Other End of the Leash is a book that strives to help you connect with your dog in a completely new way—so as to enrich that most rewarding of relationships.




How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You


Book Description

Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat humor in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You. If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats!




Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby


Book Description

Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby is chockfull of comics about cats, babies, dogs, lasers, selfies, and pigeons! This book contains a vast wealth of never-before-seen comics, including informative guides, such as: How to comfortably sleep next to your cat 10 ways to befriend a misanthropic cat How to hold a baby when you are not used to holding babies A dog’s guide to walking a human being How to cuddle like you mean it Includes a pull-out poster of: How to tell if your cat thinks you’re not that big of a deal.




The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances


Book Description

This is not just a book about running. It's a book about cupcakes. It's a book about suffering. It's a book about gluttony, vanity, bliss, electrical storms, ranch dressing, and Godzilla. It's a book about all the terrible and wonderful reasons we wake up each day and propel our bodies through rain, shine, heaven, and hell. From #1 New York Times best-selling author, Matthew Inman, AKA The Oatmeal, comes this hilarious, beautiful, poignant collection of comics and stories about running, eating, and one cartoonist's reasons for jogging across mountains until his toenails fall off. Containing over 70 pages of never-before-seen material, including "A Lazy Cartoonist's Guide to Becoming a Runner" and "The Blerch's Guide to Dieting," this book also comes with Blerch race stickers.




5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides)


Book Description

In Matthew Inman's New York Times best selling 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes. Sixtry of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are presented in full-color inside 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides). Consider such handy advice as: 4 Reasons to Carry a Shovel at All Times, 6 Types of Crappy Hugs, 8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You, 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat, and 20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer.




The Old Man and His Dog


Book Description

This book is no ordinary book about two old grumpy men and a dog. In reading the book, you will soon realize that there are only two main characters that matter and the dog is center stage. The old man, his dog, and his friend are individuals who chose to take their lives on the run and live out of their cars. George is a cancer survivor and proud owner and handler of his faithful friend Hawkeye, a large German Shepard who serves him devotedly as a service dog and companion animal. The value that Hawkeye added to George's life was immense and needs to be recognized as there are thousands of dogs doing the same thing every day that Hawkeye did to keep his owner safe and be given the opportunities to cope better with his disabilities. George knew this concept years before it became common practice. 14 years earlier to be exact. George and Hawkeye are homeless creatures. In fact, the entire subject is open for criticism and discussion whether or not homeless people deserve a better social status in life and society than they are currently given. A fact remains they are citizens who have all the rights and freedoms other people have. Some are taking it for granted that they are second-class citizens but the fact remains, they are part of our communities and deserve respect and dignity we all desire in our life. However, this book is not about war, homeless or anything political. It's about healing after experiencing a traumatic episode in your life. What this book describes is based on facts and not gossip or myths. It's real life on the street and the problematic issues dealt with day and night. How the dog fits into the story is amazing. The dog is the centerpiece of all the sanity and reality covered in the book. If you are an owner of a lovable faithful and loyal pet, you know what the book is talking about. Refreshingly honest and accurate in their trials and tribulations as partners especially George as Hawkeyes closest friend. Veterans who suffered from traumatic episodes in a war or post-war incidents need to be helped in many ways. Suicide rates are way too high for our veterans and we need to support them better. Hawkeye was a gift from heaven. He joined George when he needed companionship and love from someone - even if he was just a dog. Towards the end of Hawkeye's lifespan, George met this friend who had experienced just about everything the same as him and found their compatibility status astonishing if not remarkable. Who would have thought that this partnership would grow so deep as if their personalities had meshed together to make one character or trait? The mystery is at the end of the book where most things are explained as to why the two were so compatible and suitable for each other. A deeper look into the psyche of veterans and others who deal with everyday life. Coping mechanisms and methods of making better decisions are at the forefront of their daily living. Don't underestimate the answer. You will be surprised how veterans and other traumatic victims deal with their lives where nothing comes easy and every decision could be life or death, happiness or sorrow. That's how it is in the real world but that's the catch, what is the real world? Can traumatic experiences fool you into confusing you what is real and what is imaginary? Stay tuned. Buy the book and read another perspective of this old man's life and his dog.




How to Be Perfectly Unhappy


Book Description

In How To Be Perfectly Unhappy, Inman explores the surprising benefits of forgetting about “happiness,” and embracing instead the meaningful activities that keep us busy and interested and fascinated.




Compulsive Comics


Book Description

There are dinosaurs, murder fantasies, and secret wars in this collection of short comics stories. Compulsive Comics collects the very best of Eric Haven’s singular brand of inverted-comic-book-consciousness and genre-bending short stories. “The Glacier” is about a lone scientist making a startling discovery. The volume’s most controversial story, “I Killed Dan Clowes,” is an epic conflation of autobio and fantasy. While driving around Oakland, ruminating on the history of underground comics in the Bay Area, the main character fatally hits acclaimed graphic novelist Daniel Clowes, and the absurdity only escalates from there.