Iguanas Are Assholes


Book Description

Iguanas are assholes. I know it, you know it, and the friend you are going to buy this book for knows it. But go ahead and buy a copy or two. You can't go wrong with the price, and the look on your friends face when they see the title will be... priceless. The inside is graced with a combination of words and photos that may entertain, amuse, offend or intrigue the reader, depending on their mood, upbringing, and social status. Take a look inside to see your own reaction. You will be sure to agree... Iguanas are assholes! PRAISE FOR IGUANAS ARE ASSHOLES Destined to become a cult classic. -Iguana Fancy Magazine Finally, a book that confirms what we've known all along. -Bar Tab Magazine Genius and idiotic. Unnerving and endearing. -The Conch Republic Tribune The title alone makes this a sound investment. -The Daily Iguana




Flaming Iguanas


Book Description

In the tradition of such trendsetting wanderers as Jack Kerouac and Thelma and Louise comes the tale of a one-of-a-kind heroine on a sea-to-shining-sea, all-girl adventure. Line drawings.




Start Shooting


Book Description

“The best way I can describe the Four Corners neighbor­hood of Chicago is find a length of rebar, scratch a big cross into the concrete, set your feet solid in the quadrant you like best, lean back, and start shooting.” Officer Bobby Vargas is hard-edged but idealistic, a Chicago cop who stands at the epicenter of a subterranean plot that will have horrific ramifications for both himself and the entire city. Twenty-five years earlier, a gruesome murder rocked the unforgiving streets of Four Corners. Now, sud­denly, a dying Chicago paper is running a serial exposé on new evidence in that old case, threatening to implicate Bobby and his older brother, Ruben—a decorated, high-ranking detective and cop- prince of the streets. The smear campaign stirs up decades-old bad blood, leading the Vargas brothers down an increasingly twisted and terrifying path, where the sins of the past threaten to destroy what remains of the truth. As readers and critics discovered in his first novel, Calumet City, Charlie Newton’s Chicago is a landscape as brutal and poignant as any in modern crime fiction—a multi-faceted, shockingly violent labyrinth of gangland politics, political backstabbing, corporate malfeasance, and, possi­bly, hope. Start Shooting is a riveting read.




Roosters Are Assholes


Book Description

Roosters are assholes. I know it, you know it, and the friend you are going to buy this book for knows it. But go ahead and buy a copy or two. You can't go wrong with the price, and the look on your friend's face when they see the title will be... priceless. The inside is graced with a combination of words and photos that may entertain, amuse, offend or intrigue the reader, depending on their mood, upbringing, and social status. Take a look inside to see your own reaction. You will be sure to agree... Roosters are assholes! Praise for Roosters Are Assholes: Destined to become a cult classic. -Farm & Fence Magazine. Finally, a book that confirms what we've known all along. -Bar Tab Magazine. Genius and idiotic. Unnerving and endearing. -The Conch Republic Tribune. The title alone makes this a sound investment. -The Cluck & Comb.




Stolen World


Book Description

Tortoises disappear from a Madagascar reserve and reappear in the Bronx Zoo. A dead iguana floats in a jar, awaiting its unveiling in a Florida court. A viper causes mayhem from Ethiopia to Virginia. In Stolen World, Jennie Erin Smith takes the reader on an unforgettable journey, a dark adventure over five decades and six continents. In 1965, Hank Molt, a young cheese salesman from Philadelphia, reinvented himself as a “specialist dealer in rare fauna,” traveling the world to collect exquisite reptiles for zoos and museums. By the end of the decade that followed, new endangered species laws had turned Molt into a convicted smuggler, and an unrepentant one, who went on to provide many of the same rare reptiles to many of the same institutions, covertly. But Molt soon found a rival in Tommy Crutchfield, a Florida carpet salesman with every intention of usurping Molt as the most accomplished reptile smuggler in the country. Like Molt, Crutchfield had modeled himself after an earlier generation of natural-history collectors celebrated for their service to science, an ideal that, for Molt and Crutchfield, eclipsed the realities of the new wildlife-protection laws. Zoo curators, caught between a desire for rare animals and the conservation-minded focus of their institutions, became the smugglers’ antagonists in court but also their best customers, sometimes simultaneously. Crutchfield forged ties with a criminally inclined Malaysian wildlife trader and emerged a millionaire, beloved by some of the finest zoos in the world. Molt, following a string of inventive but disastrous smuggling schemes in New Guinea, was reduced to hanging around Crutchfield’s Florida compound, plotting Crutchfield’s demise. The fallout from their feud would result in a major federal investigation with tentacles in Germany, Madagascar, Holland, and Malaysia. And yet even after prison, personal ruin, and the depredations of age, Molt and Crutchfield never stopped scheming, never stopped longing for the snake or lizard that would earn each his rightful place in a world that had forgotten them—or rather, had never recognized them to begin with.




The Wolf of Wall Street


Book Description

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Now a major motion picture directed by Martin Scorsese and starring Leonardo DiCaprio By day he made thousands of dollars a minute. By night he spent it as fast as he could. From the binge that sank a 170-foot motor yacht and ran up a $700,000 hotel tab, to the wife and kids waiting at home and the fast-talking, hard-partying young stockbrokers who called him king, here, in Jordan Belfort’s own words, is the story of the ill-fated genius they called the Wolf of Wall Street. In the 1990s, Belfort became one of the most infamous kingpins in American finance: a brilliant, conniving stock-chopper who led his merry mob on a wild ride out of Wall Street and into a massive office on Long Island. It’s an extraordinary story of greed, power, and excess that no one could invent: the tale of an ordinary guy who went from hustling Italian ices to making hundreds of millions—until it all came crashing down. Praise for The Wolf of Wall Street “Raw and frequently hilarious.”—The New York Times “A rollicking tale of [Jordan Belfort’s] rise to riches as head of the infamous boiler room Stratton Oakmont . . . proof that there are indeed second acts in American lives.”—Forbes “A cross between Tom Wolfe’s The Bonfire of the Vanities and Scorsese’s GoodFellas . . . Belfort has the Midas touch.”—The Sunday Times (London) “Entertaining as pulp fiction, real as a federal indictment . . . a hell of a read.”—Kirkus Reviews




Jurassic Florida


Book Description

FLORIDA. IT’S WHERE YOU GO TO DIE. Welcome to Polo Springs, a sleepy little town on Florida’s Gulf Coast. It’s a great place to live—if you don’t mind the hurricanes. Or the flooding. Or the unusual wildlife . . . IGUANAS. THEY’RE EVERYWHERE. Maybe it’s the weather. But the whole town is overrun with the little green bastards this year. They’re causing a lot of damage. They’re eating everything in sight. And they’re just the babies . . . HUMANS. THEY’RE WHAT’S FOR DINNER. The mayor wants to address the iguana problem. But when Hurricane Ramona slams the coast, the town has a bigger problem on their hands. Bigger iguanas. Bigger than a double-wide. Unleashed by the storm, this razor-toothed horde of prehistoric predators rises up from the depths—and descends on the town like retirees at an early bird special. Except humans are on the menu. And it’s all you can eat . . . Raves for The Montauk Monster “Old school horror.” —Jonathan Maberry “A lot of splattery fun.”—Publishers Weekly “Frightening, gripping.”—Night Owl Reviews




Utopia Revisited Engraved Edition


Book Description

As the light of a full moon glistens on the River Thames below the London Bridge, More's daughter collects her father's severed head from the King's guard, and Hythloday's ship Dolfijn glides toward the river's mouth on its way back to the island of Utopia. This edition includes monochromatic engravings from Locke's full-color version historical/fantasy novel Utopia Revisited. It follows the lives of five individuals in the early 16th century as they embark on their own personal journeys- both literally and metaphorically- to find Utopia.




Just a Dog


Book Description

How can we make sense of acts of cruelty towards animals?




Wanderlove


Book Description

Eighteen-year-old Bria wants to be a Global Vagabond. In a quest for independence, her neglected art, and no-strings-attached hookups, she signs up for a tour of Central America—the wrong one. Middle-aged tourists are hardly the key to self-rediscovery. So when Bria meets Rowan, devoted backpacker and dive instructor, and his outspoken sister, Starling, she seizes the chance to ditch her group and join them off the beaten path. Bria's a good girl trying to go bad. Rowan's a bad boy trying to stay good. As they travel through Mayan villages and remote Belizean islands, they discover they're both seeking to leave behind the old versions of themselves. The secret to escaping the past, Rowan's found, is to keep moving forward. But Bria realizes she can't run forever. At some point, you have to look back.