Joey Green's Amazing Pet Cures


Book Description

From the man who knows how to fertilize houseplants with Jell-O and give someone a dry shampoo with Quaker Oats comes the first book of pet care tips that tackles everyday pet illnesses, quirky behaviors, and animal smells and stains by tapping into the power of brand-name products. The ever-inventive Joey Green presents fun and offbeat remedies for a wide range of pet troubles, from bad breath and skunks to hot spots and ticks. Who would have guessed that ChapStik stops a nail bleed or that Listerine can quell itching? Why not forego expensive and toxic flea sprays and use Dawn dishwashing liquid or Johnson's Baby Powder as a treatment instead? Even though these tips sound quirky (use Smirnoff vodka to clean your pet's ears?), they really do work because many brand-name products contain soaps, degreasers, emollients, and moisturizers to soothe, clean, dissolve, and heal quickly and safely. Joey Green's Amazing Pet Cures makes a great gift for pet lovers and is a practical guide for anyone looking for simple and easy shortcuts to live the good life with a pet.




Joey Green's Amazing Pet Cures


Book Description

Subtitle on cover: 1,138 simple pet remedies using everyday brand-name products.




Joey Green's Amazing Pet Cures


Book Description

From the man who knows how to fertilize houseplants with Jell-O and give someone a dry shampoo with Quaker Oats comes the first book of pet care tips that tackles everyday pet illnesses, quirky behaviors, and animal smells and stains by tapping into the power of brand-name products. The ever-inventive Joey Green presents fun and offbeat remedies for a wide range of pet troubles, from bad breath and skunks to hot spots and ticks. Who would have guessed that ChapStik stops a nail bleed or that Listerine can quell itching? Why not forego expensive and toxic flea sprays and use Dawn dishwashing liquid or Johnson's Baby Powder as a treatment instead? Even though these tips sound quirky (use Smirnoff vodka to clean your pet's ears?), they really do work because many brand-name products contain soaps, degreasers, emollients, and moisturizers to soothe, clean, dissolve, and heal quickly and safely. Joey Green's Amazing Pet Cures makes a great gift for pet lovers and is a practical guide for anyone looking for simple and easy shortcuts to live the good life with a pet.




Joey Green's Magic Health Remedies


Book Description

Home remedies remain an appealing alternative to costly doctor visits—they're effective, inexpensive, and ideal for everyday illnesses and injuries that don't require hands-on medical care. When brand-name product guru Joey Green tackles a subject like home remedies, readers can be found reaching into their closets, cupboards, and pantries for their favorite products to cure what ails them. From relieving a migraine with Dole Pineapple Chunks, treating stinky feet with Clearasil, and soothing an insect bite with Colgate Toothpaste, Joey Green's Magic Health Remedies is packed with reliable, user-friendly cures for everything from acne and calluses to morning sickness and toothaches—121 conditions in all. Joey divulges that many products have special, never-before-revealed qualities not found on the label and, with a little ingenuity, can be used to treat minor health issues and conditions. There's compelling evidence for experimenting with off-label uses—like when hay fever strikes, a little McCormick Ground Turmeric in a glass of water brings relief in 15 minutes; the bioflavonoids in the spice are antioxidants that suppress histamine production. Who knew? Well, Joey knows and now he's bringing fast relief (and lots of fun) to health care at home!




Joey Green's Cleaning Magic


Book Description

From the guru of discovering extraordinary uses for brand-name products come brand-new ways to make cleaning, organizing, and decluttering quick, easy, and a lot more fun The public is endlessly fascinated by quirky and offbeat uses for their favorite products and, this time around, Joey Green tackles household chores with his pantry full of cleaning power. Green's easy and effortless tips and tricks show how to scrub, deodorize, shine, and remove stains with products already in the house. While Green's suggestions may sound implausible, they are, in fact, highly effective. Most products on the market today are a complex mix of lubricants, abrasives, and cleansers, giving these brand-name products plenty of power to clean, dissolve, and fix in the most unexpected ways. Joey Green's Cleaning Magic offers clever ways to make household items do double duty, like using a slice of Wonder Bread to clean up tiny shards of glass from a kitchen floor—just pat it flat against the floor and toss it away—and wiping away the gunk from the bottom of an iron with Purell. This practical, useful, funny, and entertaining volume includes thousands of incredibly simple ways to clean up every room (and dusty corner) in the house.




Joey Green's Kitchen Magic


Book Description

From the guru of brand-new uses for brand-name products come ideas and tips for culinary fun, cleaning shortcuts, and kitchen cabinet remedies Joey Green has fascinated readers for more than a decade with his quirky and innovative tips to make domestic engineering a lot more fun. Now fans will be completely intrigued and entertained by Joey's kitchen--and pantry-focused ideas, like using Canada Dry Club Soda to buff stainless steel appliances and flexible fabric Band-Aids as labels for frozen foods. Filled with time- and money-saving ideas, Joey Green's Kitchen Magic offers clever ways to make household items do double duty, like using ReaLemon for revitalizing wilted asparagus, L'eggs Panty Hose (clean, of course) for removing corn silk, and Oral-B Dental Floss for slicing layer cake. He shares unusual ideas for kitchen troubles, like stirring in Jif Peanut Butter to save burnt gravy and using Efferdent to clean the coffeepot. Joey even tosses in home remedies from the kitchen (soothe a blister with Carnation Nonfat Dry Milk) and simple recipes (try Slow-Cooker Brisket with a Coca-Cola marinade). Whether it's a quick fix (Eggo Waffles for hot dog buns, anyone?) or an emergency substitution (Bounty Paper Towel for a coffee filter), there are loads of useful and entertaining tips for making the most of brand-name purchases.




Last-Minute Survival Secrets


Book Description

The Department of Homeland Security advises all citizens to develop an Emergency Preparedness Plan, along with a Disaster Supply Kit . . . but who has the time? What will you do if Hurricane Bernadette blows ashore before you can stock up on K-rations and signal flares? Don't panic-it's Joey Green to the rescue! Last-Minute Survival Secrets contains more than a hundred ingenious survival tips that may sound quirky at first, but really do work. Green shows how to start a campfire with potato chips, open a locked suitcase with a ballpoint pen, and prevent heat stroke with a disposable diaper. Readers will learn to build a solar cooker using cardboard and aluminum foil, a flood alarm with aspirin and a clothespin, and a wi-fi antenna with a coffee can. The book is even helpful for life's everyday disasters-when a thunderstorm knocks out the power, the dog is sprayed by a skunk, or your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. The book also includes interesting and goofy sidebars related to these survival tactics, fascinating trivia to keep you entertained until FEMA arrives, which may be a while. It's the perfect resource for armchair survivalists, budding MacGyvers, and adventurists on a budget. Joey Green is the author of more than 50 books, including Joey Green's Fix-It Magic, The Mad-Scientist Handbook, and Polish Your Furniture with Panty Hose. He has written for Rolling Stone, National Lampoon, Time, and more. He lives in West Hills, California.




Last-Minute Travel Secrets


Book Description

The golden days of complimentary in-flight champagne and cushy sleeping car coaches on the Orient Express are largely behind us. Say hello to $50 "leg room upgrade" fees and bedbug-infested hotels. What's a weary, frustrated traveler to do? Ask Joey Green for advice, that's what! A lifelong world explorer, Green has collected more than a hundred of his best travel hacks to rescue your hard-earned vacation using common, easily-found products. Some of the tips may seem goofy at first but work in a pinch. Insert tampon ear plugs and ignore the stares—enveloped in silence, you can enjoy reading this book's numerous entertaining sidebars and fascinating pieces of travel trivia, comforted in knowing that you will never see, or hear, those fellow passengers ever again.




Contrary to Popular Belief


Book Description

Is Everything You Know Wrong? Set the record straight! Debunk myths! Learn the truth behind fallacies, falsehoods, hearsay, and lies! Isn’t it time you knew the honest-to-goodness truth? We’ve all come to believe hundreds of “false facts”—myths that we’ve blindly accepted as truth, misconceptions that we’ve ignorantly retold to others—Contrary to Popular Belief provides an instant remedy for your pounding head full of misinformation, giving you quick relief with enlightening and entertaining facts. Inside you’ll learn: George Washington was not the first president of the United States. Leap year does not occur every four years. The ostrich does not bury its head in the sand. Thomas Edison did not invent the light bulb. Ship captains cannot perform marriages at sea. Sound does not travel at the speed of sound. The needle on a compass does not point to the North Pole. Leonardo da Vinci did not paint the Mona Lisa. And more than two hundred other bits of conventional “wisdom” that are completely bunk.




Not So Normal Norbert


Book Description

A kooky kid is banished to another planet in this hilarious adventure about a futuristic world where different is dangerous, imagination is insanity, and creativity is crazy! Norbert Riddle lives in the United State of Earth, where normal means following the rules, never standing out, and being exactly the same as everyone else, down to the plain gray jumpsuits he wears every day. He's been normal his whole life -- until a moment of temporary hilarity when he does a funny impression of their dictator, Loving Leader . . . and gets caught! Now, Norbert's been arrested and banished to planet Zorquat 3 in the Orion Nebula, where kids who defy the rules roam free in the Astronuts camp. Norbert has been taught his whole life that different is wrong, but everyone at Astronuts is crazy, creative, and insane! Norbert wants nothing more than to go back to earth where things are awful but at least they're familiar. But he soon realizes that being different could be better -- and maybe the crazy farm is exactly where he belongs after all.