Lies We Tell Ourselves: The Psychology of Self-Deception


Book Description

Humans are excellent liars. We don’t like to think of ourselves as capable of lying; it hurts us too much to admit. So we lie to ourselves about that, too. As a clinical psychologist, I am regularly confronted with the brutal truth that we all lie. I am not talking about deliberate, bold-faced lying. No, this type of dishonesty is far harder to detect and admit. It is the kind of lying that comes from not being psychologically strong enough to be honest with ourselves about who we are. And I believe that it is our biggest obstacle to living a fulfilling life. I wrote this book for anyone interested in becoming more honest. In it, I present a range of self-deceptive examples couched in psychological theory to help us explore ourselves. Although it is a relatively short book, indented to be read in about an hour, I hope that the content provokes deep thought. For when we are honest about who we really are, we have the opportunity to change.




Vital Lies, Simple Truths


Book Description

A penetrating analysis of the dark corners of human deception, enlivened by intriguing case histories and experiments.




Lies


Book Description

We lie to ourselves every day, and these lies can lead to significant unhappiness in our lives. In Lies, authors Bridget Harwell and Elizabeth Scott present a collection of more than forty essays based on their daily interactions with clients who have suffered the pain of digging deeply and unearthing the self-deceptions that have limited their lives. Harwell and Scott, two successful, practicing psychologists, compiled the essays to examine the various forms of self-deception, many of which are unconscious attempts at self-protection which can go unnoticed and yet lead to stress and unhappiness. Accompanied by whimsical and evocative drawings, Lies examines a variety of themes, such as guilt, worry, indecision, and the power of relationships. Each piece is followed by a conversation between Harwell and Scott that seeks to add clarity to the discussion. Written in a conversational style that mimics a therapy session, this collection presents strategies for finding the truth beneath the lies we tell ourselves and gives us an opportunity to live a more integrated life, a life of authenticity that's essential for any kind of true happiness.




Lies We Tell Ourselves


Book Description

"In The Lies We Tell Ourselves, psychotherapist Jon Frederickson reveals the ways we fool ourselves and how to get unstuck. Through dozens of stories and examples, he demonstrates that the apparent cause of our problems is almost never the real cause. In addition, he reveals what we really fear and how to face it. In the spirit of Stephen Grosz and Irving Yalom, Frederickson shows how to recognize the lies we tell ourselves and face the truths we have avoided--and stop saying yes when we really mean no."--Amazon.com.




Lies We Tell Ourselves


Book Description

Includes questions for discussions and an excerpt from another novel.




Useful Delusions: The Power and Paradox of the Self-Deceiving Brain


Book Description

A Behavioral Scientist Notable Book of 2021 A Next Big Idea Club Best Nonfiction of 2021 From the New York Times best-selling author and host of Hidden Brain comes a thought-provoking look at the role of self-deception in human flourishing. Self-deception does terrible harm to us, to our communities, and to the planet. But if it is so bad for us, why is it ubiquitous? In Useful Delusions, Shankar Vedantam and Bill Mesler argue that, paradoxically, self-deception can also play a vital role in our success and well-being. The lies we tell ourselves sustain our daily interactions with friends, lovers, and coworkers. They can explain why some people live longer than others, why some couples remain in love and others don’t, why some nations hold together while others splinter. Filled with powerful personal stories and drawing on new insights in psychology, neuroscience, and philosophy, Useful Delusions offers a fascinating tour of what it really means to be human.




The Lies We Tell Ourselves


Book Description

Law and economics suggests that we behave in ways that maximize our preferences, but what if we are deceived about what we want or how best to get it? This article explores how the psychology of self-deception can be marshaled to explain unexpected patterns of law-breaking and deviance.Using original research from a qualitative case study of amateur NCAA baseball players, I examine the ways in which self-deception leads us to systematically reinterpret and process information, fundamentally changing how we weigh the costs and benefits associated with breaking rules. Our preferences are inextricably interwoven with our identities, and we go to extreme lengths to protect our senses of self from information that might undermine them. When we do, we lie to ourselves about what we want, how much we want it, how likely we are to get it, and how to go about it. These lies lead to different patterns of rule-breaking than simple, "objective" cost-benefit analysis would suggest. What emerges is a more nuanced picture of a legal actor, and a fresh, original look at why we break the rules we do.




Why We Lie


Book Description

Readers of Richard Dawkins and Steven Pinker will find much to intrigue them in this fascinating book, which declares that our extraordinary ability to deceive others - and even our selves - 'lies' at the heart of our humanity.




Lies We Live by


Book Description

This is a book about the lies we tell ourselves, and Giannetti approaches his subject by intriguing routes. In the natural world, he surveys the art of deception such as orchids simulating female insects to trick the males. He considers chemical deception introduced into the body by drugs. He assesses the role of self-deception in individual acts of daring and the degree of self-interest we hide from ourselves but are very ready to spot in others. Of profound interest is the paradox which allows one part of the mind to lie to another which Giannetti weighs up from an ethical point of view as it reflects on the individual and impacts on society.




Lying and Deception in Everyday Life


Book Description

"I speak the truth, not so much as I would, but as much as I dare...."-- Montaigne "All cruel people describe themselves as paragons of frankness.'" -- Tennessee Williams Truth and deception--like good and evil--have long been viewed as diametrically opposed and unreconcilable. Yet, few people can honestly claim they never lie. In fact, deception is practiced habitually in day-to-day life--from the polite compliment that doesn't accurately relay one's true feelings, to self-deception about one's own motivations. What fuels the need for people to intricately construct lies and illusions about their own lives? If deceptions are unconscious, does it mean that we are not responsible for their consequences? Why does self-deception or the need for illusion make us feel uncomfortable? Taking into account the sheer ubiquity and ordinariness of deception, this interdisciplinary work moves away from the cut-and-dried notion of duplicity as evil and illuminates the ways in which deception can also be understood as a adaptive response to the demands of living with others. The book articulates the boundaries between unethical and adaptive deception demonstrating how some lies serve socially approved goals, while others provoke distrust and condemnation. Throughout, the volume focuses on the range of emotions--from feelings of shame, fear, or envy, to those of concern and compassion--that motivate our desire to deceive ourselves and others. Providing an interdisciplinary exploration of the widespread phenomenon of lying and deception, this volume promotes a more fully integrated understanding of how people function in their everyday lives. Case illustrations, humor and wit, concrete examples, and even a mock television sitcom script bring the ideas to life for clinical practitioners, behavioral scientists, and philosophers, and for students in these realms.