Living Without Your Twin


Book Description




The Lone Twin


Book Description

People are fascinated with twins - intrigued by their closeness with each other. But what happens when twins are separated, especially by death? Twin mortality is high, but it is not uncommon for a lone twin's loss, at any age, to go unmarked. They need extra help and support to take them through the loss of their 'other half.' The loss of a twin can be devastating to the survivor. Working as an Attachment therapist, Joan Woodward uses John Bowlby's theories as her conceptual base for her research. In this book, she suggests that the highly significant attachment that twins make with each other may begin, for many, before birth. She explains their closeness and tragic experience of death and bereavement. The Lone Twin includes parental attitudes to the surviving twin, the surviving twin's guilt, the ability to cope, and the effect of loss in childhood and adulthood. Of particular interest are those who lost their twin at birth. Throughout, the book is illustrated by the words of surviving twins' affecting accounts of their experiences of bereavement. This is an important and rare book for many professionals - counselors, psychotherapists, social workers, psychologists, and teachers - who come into contact with bereaved twins and yet have little understanding of the dynamics of twinship and of twin loss. Written in jargon-free language, the book is also for the twins themselves, their families, partners, and friends. It gives lone twins the chance to have their voices heard, and it gives professionals the opportunity to develop more effective ways of supporting the lone twin. This greatly expanded and revised second edition details the progress that has been made in the ten years since the book was first published, along with the growth of The Lone Twin Network.




Twin Dilemmas


Book Description

The development of how twins relate to each other and their single partners is explored through life stories and clinical examples in this telling study of twin interconnections. While the quality of a nurturing family life is crucial, Dr. Klein has found there are often issues with separation anxiety, loneliness, competition with each other, and finding friendships outside of twinship. When twin lives are entwined because of inadequate parenting and estrangement, twin loss is possible and traumatic, creating a crippling fear of expansiveness—an inability to be yourself. Therapists and twins seeking an understanding of twin relationships will find this clinically compelling book a valuable resource.




Grieving Parents


Book Description

This book is not about one story of loss or one grief therapy approach. This book contains exactly what grieving couples have asked for: what they wanted to know in exactly your situation; what they have mentioned and pointed out they would need or would have needed in that horrendous time of loss. Books written by bereaved parents often follow the formula: "My life was beautiful, then my child or baby died and then my life was never the same again. I had to write a book about it." These books are usually self-therapy, rather than a way to help others. Books by therapists often talk about their work from a theoretical basis that lacks personal experience. They discuss people who experience complicated or chronic grief as opposed to encouraging the resilience that lies within each and every one of us. I have experienced the loss of a child and I am a grief therapist, but this book is not a memoir about my loss. Neither is it just a book written from the perspective of a therapist having worked with countless clients experiencing loss. This book focuses on the effect parental bereavement has on the parents and their relationship. It is about surviving loss as a couple and the re-emerging from grief into a life of joy and melancholy, laughter and tears, happiness and sadness. Not either/or but BOTH/AND. This book will, teach you understanding and acceptance of the grieving process each and everyone chooses. In a relationship, each partner is equally responsible to take part in sailing the ship together. Surviving Loss as a Couple is about how you can re-emerge from this crazy ride through the darkness of grief with renewed depth and understanding with your partner. This book is based on bereaved parents' needs, challenges and what they said has helped them, based on a worldwide survey I have conducted. It contains detailed descriptions of what has helped eighteen individuals and couples that I have interviewed, couples in varying situations and at different stages of their journey with grief.




When Grief Calls Forth the Healing


Book Description

In 1961, Michael Rockefeller, son of then-governor of New York State Nelson A. Rockefeller, mysteriously disappeared off the remote coast of southern New Guinea. Amid the glare of international public interest, the governor, along with his daughter Mary, Michael’s twin, set off on a futile search, only to return empty handed and empty hearted. What followed were Mary’s twenty-seven-year repression of her grief and an unconscious denial of her twin’s death, which haunted her relationships and controlled her life. In this startlingly frank and moving memoir, Mary R. Morgan struggles to claim an individual identity, which enables her to face Michael’s death and the huge loss it engendered. With remarkable honesty, she shares her spiritually evocative healing journey and her story of moving forward into a life of new beginnings and meaning, especially in her work with others who have lost a twin. “The sea change began one November day in 1961. I remember the moment before. A window in the corner of my parents’ living room drew my attention. A windblown branch from an azalea bush scratched the surface of the glass, making a discordant sound. My father stands out clearly, his figure powerful and solid next to the soft, down-pillowed sofa. By the window, my two brothers and I are clustered around my mother, wary, and watching him. It was barely two months since Father had separated from her. And just days before, he’d called a press conference, choosing to publicly expose his affair and his decision to remarry. Father held a yellow cablegram in his hand. Mike, my twin brother, was missing off the coast of New Guinea. Missing . . . The ‘s’ sound. Like a thin knife, it slipped deep inside me. No resistance, just a sharp, knowing pain and then shimmering silence.” —Adapted from Chapter One




A Me Without We: A Collection of Stories and Resources on Twin Life, Twin Loss and Twinless Living.


Book Description

There are two things about being a twinless twin in which I am absolutely positive about. There is nothing more painful than witnessing someone suffer, especially when that someone holds half of your heart. She is always with me. Sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad, but I always know she's always there. Twin bonds are forever, even




We are Twins But who Am I?


Book Description

While most people begin life as separate human beings & must learn intimacy, twins are born into intimacy & must learn how to find separateness. "In her book, WE ARE TWINS, BUT WHO AM I?, Betty Jean Case has taken some of the best parts from all the other books on twins & new information she gained during nine years of research & put together one of the best books ever written about twins. She questioned more than 800 twins on subjects as varied as love, marriage, education, & ESP. This book is not just more of the same information you have read somewhere else. Being a twin herself, Mrs. Case has been able to express the struggle for identity from a twin's perspective. It is easy to read & is of interest to everyone, including twins, both identical & fraternal, parents of twins of all ages, grandparents, teachers, & anyone else who encounters twins." NOTEBOOK, Published by National Association of Mothers of Twins Club. Spring 1992. "This book examines how twins feel about being twins, how being a twin affects their lives, the struggle twins have to find their individuality & the importance of this. The special bond between twins is explained with advice to friends & relatives on how to understand what is involved." TAMBA - Twins & Multiple Births Association, Newsletter, Multiple Births Foundation Summer, 1992 London, England.




I Know This Much Is True


Book Description

With his stunning debut novel, She's Come Undone, Wally Lamb won the adulation of critics and readers with his mesmerizing tale of one woman's painful yet triumphant journey of self-discovery. Now, this brilliantly talented writer returns with I Know This Much Is True, a heartbreaking and poignant multigenerational saga of the reproductive bonds of destruction and the powerful force of forgiveness. A masterpiece that breathtakingly tells a story of alienation and connection, power and abuse, devastation and renewal--this novel is a contemporary retelling of an ancient Hindu myth. A proud king must confront his demons to achieve salvation. Change yourself, the myth instructs, and you will inhabit a renovated world. When you're the same brother of a schizophrenic identical twin, the tricky thing about saving yourself is the blood it leaves on your bands--the little inconvenience of the look-alike corpse at your feet. And if you're into both survival of the fittest and being your brother's keeper--if you've promised your dying mother--then say so long to sleep and hello to the middle of the night. Grab a book or a beer. Get used to Letterman's gap-toothed smile of the absurd, or the view of the bedroom ceiling, or the influence of random selection. Take it from a godless insomniac. Take it from the uncrazy twin--the guy who beat the biochemical rap. Dominick Birdsey's entire life has been compromised and constricted by anger and fear, by the paranoid schizophrenic twin brother he both deeply loves and resents, and by the past they shared with their adoptive father, Ray, a spit-and-polish ex-Navy man (the five-foot-six-inch sleeping giant who snoozed upstairs weekdays in the spare room and built submarines at night), and their long-suffering mother, Concettina, a timid woman with a harelip that made her shy and self-conscious: She holds a loose fist to her face to cover her defective mouth--her perpetual apology to the world for a birth defect over which she'd had no control. Born in the waning moments of 1949 and the opening minutes of 1950, the twins are physical mirror images who grow into separate yet connected entities: the seemingly strong and protective yet fearful Dominick, his mother's watchful "monkey"; and the seemingly weak and sweet yet noble Thomas, his mother's gentle "bunny." From childhood, Dominick fights for both separation and wholeness--and ultimately self-protection--in a house of fear dominated by Ray, a bully who abuses his power over these stepsons whose biological father is a mystery. I was still afraid of his anger but saw how he punished weakness--pounced on it. Out of self-preservation I hid my fear, Dominick confesses. As for Thomas, he just never knew how to play defense. He just didn't get it. But Dominick's talent for survival comes at an enormous cost, including the breakup of his marriage to the warm, beautiful Dessa, whom he still loves. And it will be put to the ultimate test when Thomas, a Bible-spouting zealot, commits an unthinkable act that threatens the tenuous balance of both his and Dominick's lives. To save himself, Dominick must confront not only the pain of his past but the dark secrets he has locked deep within himself, and the sins of his ancestors--a quest that will lead him beyond the confines of his blue-collar New England town to the volcanic foothills of Sicily 's Mount Etna, where his ambitious and vengefully proud grandfather and a namesake Domenico Tempesta, the sostegno del famiglia, was born. Each of the stories Ma told us about Papa reinforced the message that he was the boss, that he ruled the roost, that what he said went. Searching for answers, Dominick turns to the whispers of the dead, to the pages of his grandfather's handwritten memoir, The History of Domenico Onofrio Tempesta, a Great Man from Humble Beginnings. Rendered with touches of magic realism, Domenico's fablelike tale--in which monkeys enchant and religious statues weep--becomes the old man's confession--an unwitting legacy of contrition that reveals the truth's of Domenico's life, Dominick learns that power, wrongly used, defeats the oppressor as well as the oppressed, and now, picking through the humble shards of his deconstructed life, he will search for the courage and love to forgive, to expiate his and his ancestors' transgressions, and finally to rebuild himself beyond the haunted shadow of his twin. Set against the vivid panoply of twentieth-century America and filled with richly drawn, memorable characters, this deeply moving and thoroughly satisfying novel brings to light humanity's deepest needs and fears, our aloneness, our desire for love and acceptance, our struggle to survive at all costs. Joyous, mystical, and exquisitely written, I Know This Much Is True is an extraordinary reading experience that will leave no reader untouched.




The Twin


Book Description

Get ready for another heart-racing, twist-filled thriller from the #1 NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author NATASHA PRESTON. CAN YOU TRUST YOUR OWN TWIN? After their parents divorced, 10-year-old twins Ivy and Iris were split up - Ivy lived with Dad, Iris with Mum. But after a tragic accident takes their mum's life, the devastated sisters are reunited when Iris moves in with Ivy and their dad. Iris takes their mum's death especially hard, unwilling to speak to anyone except Ivy. Unable to stand seeing Iris so sad, Ivy promised her that she can share her life now. After all, they're sisters. Twins. It's a promise that Iris takes seriously. And before long, Ivy's friends, her teachers, and even her boyfriend all fall under Iris's spell. Slowly, Ivy feels she's being pushed out of her own life, but tells herself she's being paranoid. Iris isn't dangerous . . . is she?




One and the Same


Book Description

Journalist Abigail Pogrebin is many things—wife, mother, New Yorker—but the one that has defined her most profoundly is “identical twin.” As children, she and her sister, Robin, were inseparable. But when Robin began to pull away as an adult, Abigail was left to wonder not only why, but also about the very nature of twinship. What does it mean to have a mirror image? How can you be unique when somebody shares your DNA? In One and the Same, Abigail sets off on a quest to understand how genetics shape us, crisscrossing the country to explore the varied relationships between twins, which range from passionate to bitterly resentful. She speaks to the experts and tries to answer the question parents ask most—is it better to encourage their separateness or closeness? And she paints a riveting portrait of twin life, yielding fascinating truths about how we become who we are.