Merde, French Is Hard... But Fun!


Book Description

This book should be the second novel you read in French, right after you read "Merde, It's Not Easy to Learn French", volume 1 in this series! Reading a book in French can be difficult, even for advanced students. French novels are usually full of idiomatic expressions. They use complicated tenses, complex sentence structures, and often slang. The books in this series are in simple French. They tell of the joys and the frustrations of an adult learning French. You'll find a good dose of humor, exercises, and illustrations. Note: this book contains adult language. The book has two sections, allowing more levels of French students to enjoy it. Section 1 has the story written completely in French, and includes grammar exercises. Section 2 contains the complete translation in English and the answers to the exercises.




Merde!


Book Description

Explains the meaning of French slang expressions, idioms, epithets, and colloquialisms.




Merde, It's Not Easy to Learn French


Book Description

This book, the first in a series, should be the first novel you read in French! Reading a book in French can be difficult, even for advanced students. French novels are usually full of idiomatic expressions. They use complicated tenses, complex sentence structures, and often slang. This book is in simple French. It's about the joys and the frustrations of an adult learning French. It includes a good dose of humor, a few exercises, and illustrations. Note: this book contains adult language. A school edition of the book without adult language entitled Oh Là Là, It's Not Easy Learning French is also available on Amazon. The book has two sections, allowing more levels of French students to enjoy it. Section 1 has the story written completely in French, and includes grammar exercises. Section 2 contains a list of the more difficult vocabulary translated into English and the complete text in English so students can check their comprehension.




Merde


Book Description

Merde is an unusual (very unusual) and witty investigation into a subject you may always have wondered about--but didn't know quite what to ask. History, biology, anthropology, culture, animal behavior--all of these are the real subjects of Merde. Why can some animals do it on the run, and others can't? Why does camel dung make good fires? What are the fascinating stories of the dung beetles? Myths and legends, physical features, health and disease, uses for construction and as fertilizers--even nutritional values!--Ralph Lewin writes about them all in the most ingratiating and sophisticated and yet scientific way. Merde is also full of personal adventures and observations, as well as anecdotes and examples. The scattered literature on this subject is voluminous, but until now no one has perused and compiled it all and given it a personal touch, so to speak. It will be hard not to talk about this treasure trove of a book after you've finished it--or perhaps even when you're in the middle of it.




Talk to the Snail


Book Description

Have you ever walked into a half-empty Parisian restaurant, only to be told that it's "complet"? Attempted to say "merci beaucoup" and accidentally complimented someone's physique? Been overlooked at the boulangerie due to your adherence to the bizarre foreign custom of waiting in line? Well, you're not alone. The internationally bestselling author of A Year in the Merde and In the Merde for Love has been there too, and he is here to help. In Talk to the Snail, Stephen Clarke distills the fruits of years spent in the French trenches into a truly handy (and hilarious) book of advice. Read this book, and find out how to get good service from the grumpiest waiter; be exquisitely polite and brutally rude at the same time; and employ the language of l'amour and le sexe. Everything you need is here in this funny, informative, and seriously useful guide to getting what you really want from the French.




Une Famille Compliquée


Book Description

John and Becky, two American grandparents from Texas, are visiting their son Joshua, who lives in France with Caroline, his French wife, and their son Guillaume. After a few fun days in a typical small French village with their son's family, Becky and John are ready to do some sightseeing. They can't wait to visit antique shops, a few old castles and a lot of wineries. Unfortunately, their son has another plan for his parents... The book, written in easy French, has two sections, allowing more levels of French students to enjoy it. Section 1 has the story written completely in French, and includes exercises at the end of each chapter. Section 2 contains a full English translation so students can check their comprehension.




My Good Life in France


Book Description

Ten years ago, Janine Marsh decided to leave her corporate life behind to fix up a run-down barn in northern France. This is the true story of her rollercoaster ride.




1000 Years of Annoying the French


Book Description

The author of A Year in the Merde and Talk to the Snail offers a highly biased and hilarious view of French history in this international bestseller. Things have been just a little awkward between Britain and France ever since the Norman invasion in 1066. Fortunately—after years of humorously chronicling the vast cultural gap between the two countries—author Stephen Clarke is perfectly positioned to investigate the historical origins of their occasionally hostile and perpetually entertaining pas de deux. Clarke sets the record straight, documenting how French braggarts and cheats have stolen credit rightfully due their neighbors across the Channel while blaming their own numerous gaffes and failures on those same innocent Brits for the past thousand years. Deeply researched and written with the same sly wit that made A Year in the Merde a comic hit, this lighthearted trip through the past millennium debunks the notion that the Battle of Hastings was a French victory (William the Conqueror was really a Norman who hated the French) and pooh-poohs French outrage over Britain’s murder of Joan of Arc (it was the French who executed her for wearing trousers). He also takes the air out of overblown Gallic claims, challenging the provenance of everything from champagne to the guillotine to prove that the French would be nowhere without British ingenuity. Brits and Anglophiles of every national origin will devour Clarke’s decidedly biased accounts of British triumph and French ignominy. But 1000 Years of Annoying the French will also draw chuckles from good-humored Francophiles as well as “anyone who’s ever encountered a snooty Parisian waiter or found themselves driving on the Boulevard Périphérique during August” (The Daily Mail). A bestseller in Britain, this is an entertaining look at history that fans of Sarah Vowell are sure to enjoy, from the author the San Francisco Chronicle has called “the anti-Mayle . . . acerbic, insulting, un-PC, and mostly hilarious.”




A Year in the Merde


Book Description

A Year in the Merde is the almost-true account of the author's adventures as an expat in Paris. Based on his own experiences and with names changed to "avoid embarrassment, possible legal action-and to prevent the author's legs being broken by someone in a Yves Saint Laurent suit", the book is narrated by Paul West, a twenty-seven-year-old Brit who is brought to Paris by a French company to open a chain of British "tea rooms." He must manage of a group of lazy, grumbling French employees, maneuver around a treacherous Parisian boss, while lucking into a succession of lusty girlfriends (one of whom happens to be the boss's morally challenged daughter). He soon becomes immersed in the contradictions of French culture: the French are not all cheese-eating surrender monkeys, though they do eat a lot of smelly cheese, and they are still in shock at being stupid enough to sell Louisiana, thus losing the chance to make French the global language. The book will also tell you how to get the best out of the grumpiest Parisian waiter, how to survive a French business meeting, and how not to buy a house in the French countryside. The author originally wrote A Year in the Merde just for fun and self-published it in France in an English-language edition. Weeks later, it had become a word-of-mouth hit for expats and the French alike. With translation rights now sold in eleven countries and already a bestseller in the UK and France, Stephen Clarke is clearly a Bill Bryson (or a Peter Mayle...) for a whole new generation of readers who can never quite decide whether they love-or love to hate-the French.




Dirty French


Book Description

GET D!RTY Next time you’re traveling or just chattin’ in French with your friends, drop the textbook formality and bust out with expressions they never teach you in school, including: •Cool slang •Funny insults •Explicit sex terms •Raw swear words Dirty French teaches the casual expressions heard every day on the streets of France: •What's up? Ça va? •He's totally hot. Il est un gravure de mode. •That brie smells funky. Ce brie sent putain de drôle. •I'm gonna get ripped! Je vais me fracasser! •I gotta piss. Je dois pisser. •The ref is fucking asshole. L'arbitre est un gros enaelé! •Wanna try doggy-style? Veux-tu faire l'amour en levrette?