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Merry XXXmas, Charlee Frown (Twisted Holiday Specials)

Author : Lotus Rose

Publisher : Death Pout

Page : 223 pages

File Size : 43,40 MB

Release :

Category : Fiction

ISBN :

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Book Description

In this raunchy comedy 18-year-old Charlee struggles to save XXXmas from having its X’s lessened by the Grump. She faces pervy challenges in order to add an X at the end of each level. Level one is innocent, other than her going topless for the milkshake. But in Xmas she must trick five opponents into getting “visibly aroused”. Then in XXmas she must get laid three times, despite the Grump passing a law raising age of consent to 19! Laugh along as Charlee dresses up as a naughty nun, tries to hang an angel near an upskirt fetishist, and gives Santa a lap dance. Marvel as she seduces a girl wearing fake “equipment” by having her stand underneath the “c” toe (no, it’s not mistletoe). And ponder as she seeks the Starfish of Legend. Can XXXmas be saved? Can Charlee be pervy enough? You’re about to find out. Warning: Contains content that may be offensive to some readers. Reader discretion is advised. Twisted Holiday Specials SinEaster Merry XXXmas, Charlee Frown BlackHearts Day



BlackHearts Day (Twisted Holiday Specials)

Author : Lotus Rose

Publisher : Death Pout

Page : 141 pages

File Size : 17,59 MB

Release :

Category : Juvenile Fiction

ISBN :

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Charlee Frown must struggle to prevent a holiday known as BlackHearts Day from taking hold. But then she starts thinking, maybe it’s not so bad after all, because Valentine’s Day really sucks. She’s asked to star in a sappy Hall-mart Cards Valentine’s television special. But then she learns about the origin of Valentine’s Day, and the role of the Illuminati and Aleister Crowley in it…in cooperation with Hall-mart. Charlee is torn. What should she do? She just wants to be on TV! Can Valentine’s Day be saved? By the author of SinEaster and Merry XXXmas, Charlee Frown. Twisted Holiday Specials SinEaster Merry XXXmas, Charlee Frown BlackHearts Day



SinEaster (Twisted Holiday Specials)

Author : Lotus Rose

Publisher : Death Pout

Page : 165 pages

File Size : 32,3 MB

Release :

Category : Religion

ISBN :

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Book Description

Like a naughty Easter version of The Nightmare Before Christmas mixed with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. . . Don't let her habit of constantly wearing bunny ears fool you. Charlee hates Easter. And she has good reason to. So, on the day before her 18th birthday, she wasn't expecting to meet the Easter Bunny, a person-sized gummi egg, and a large toad. But that's what happens when she and two other teenagers are transported to Easter Land. Charlee ponders the teenage girl made out of gummi with huge boobs, and the teenage boy in a wheelchair with an overdeveloped upper body. A black-clad princess informs them that they must compete to decide which of the three creatures will be the future egg deliverer. But a mysterious man tied to a dark holiday known as SinEaster is also aware of the teens' arrival. Some say that in the days of prophesy, SinEaster will destroy Easter. Will Easter go on as usual, or will it be cancelled this year? By the author of Malice in Wonderland and Merry XXXmas, Charlee Frown. Twisted Holiday Specials SinEaster Merry XXXmas, Charlee Frown BlackHearts Day Keywords: free Easter book, holiday special parody



Malice in Wonderland Bundle 1: The First Trilogy & Prequel

Author : Lotus Rose

Publisher : Death Pout

Page : 515 pages

File Size : 22,74 MB

Release : 2016-05-12

Category : Humor

ISBN :

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Book Description

From the author of Dorothy vs. Alice comes this dementedly funny reimagining of the classic tale. Alice never left Wonderland. She's trapped. She's angry. And she wants revenge. The truth is not what you were led to believe. It wasn't all "just a dream." It's a nightmare. A nightmare she can't escape, where formerly pleasant characters throw her unhappy unbirthday parties to torment her, while others like to make her cry so they can lick her tears. But one day after years of this unpleasantness, she loses her heart. Literally. Well, technically someone steals it. And she has to get it back. By any means necessary. And it's a lot easier to be ruthless now that she's heartless. Alice is fed up with all the losers of Wonderland, from the goofy Mad Hatter to the bloodthirsty Cheshire Cat to the sadistic Queen of Hearts. And Alice is tired of being so sweet and innocent, with all her dimples. She used to be a preteen, but today is her 13th birthday, and she’ll be singing unhappy birthday loudly as she delivers violent justice! Yeah, she used to be so sweet you could die. Well, now they all shall die…literally. Yes, from now on, she shall deal death with two dimples and a giggled kill line. She’ll be a super cute Angel of Death! It may be 1865, but Alice is about to go medieval. She will have her heart returned to her even if she has to kill all the citizens of Wonderland one by one… Malice in Wonderland Saga Malice in Wonderland Prequel Malice in Wonderland #1: Alice the Assassin Malice in Wonderland #2: Alice the Angel of Death Malice In Wonderland #3: Alice the Girl Who Will Tear Your Heart Out and Show It To You Before You Die Malice Hates Fairy Tales Trilogy Jabberwocky Trilogy Dorothy vs. Alice Trilogy Keywords: Alice in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass, Lewis Carroll, Lewis Carol, Cheshire Cat, Mad Hatter, Humpty Dumpty, Gregory Maguire, Coraline, twisted fairy tales, fairy tale retellings, reboot, horror, paranormal,fantasy, coming of age, teen, Jabberwock, Jabberwocky, Caterpillar, Tweedledum, Tweedledee, Red Queen, Queen of Hearts, Tim Burton, Serena Valentino, Wicked Queen, knight, steampunk, victorian, british, period piece, Dorothy Must Die, twisted tales, unbirthday



Jabberwocky Trilogy: Book Three: Mama’s Gonna Give You Wings To Fly

Author : Lotus Rose

Publisher : Death Pout

Page : 158 pages

File Size : 16,8 MB

Release :

Category : Young Adult Fiction

ISBN :

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Book Description

Malice and the team have arrived at Jabberwock Valley, where they hope to thwart the Snark’s diabolical plans. The times of prophesy are at hand, when great changes are in store for the jabberwocks. Soon, they may come under the rule of a new leader who shall lead them forward in conquest. They may even regain their ability to fly, if Malice and her team are successful. During the course of their adventures, Sleepy B seeks the truth about her mysterious past, while Jabby strives to regain his honor and his beloved vorpal blade. The two also further explore what exactly their strange relationship means. One thing is for certain. Lots of things are going to change very soon. The days of prophesy are at hand.



Malice in Wonderland Bundle 2: The Malice Hates Fairy Tales Trilogy

Author : Lotus Rose

Publisher : Death Pout

Page : 356 pages

File Size : 16,27 MB

Release :

Category : Juvenile Fiction

ISBN :

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Book Description

The dark comedy roller-coaster ride through Wonderland continues in the second trilogy in the Malice in Wonderland Saga. This time around, 15-year-old Queen Malice struggles to keep twisted fairy tale beings from entering Wonderland. But she also has to deal with troublesome romantic feelings, and a malfunctioning heart that leads to murderous rage. She’ll try not to kill too many creatures and people, though. Not-quite-right versions of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and even the Three Little Pigs make their appearances. And of course, her friends the Mad Hatter, Humpty Dumpty and even the Cheshire Cat are along for the adventure. All three volumes of the trilogy are collected here in one value-priced package! Here's the description from Malice Hates Fairy Tales #1: The Brothers Grimm are trying to unleash twisted fairy tale beings into Wonderland. 15-year-old Queen Malice doesn’t want to deal with them. But then Malice’s dear friend, the Mad Hatter, is kidnapped. So to save him, she’s forced to work with Cinderella, and ends up getting sucked into Fairy Tale Land. If things keep going this way, the fairy tales might eventually cross over into the outside world, where her twin, Alice, lives. Malice struggles to do the right thing, but her heart keeps malfunctioning, sending her into fits of maliciousness. Killing Cinderella would be bad, right? Malice in Wonderland Saga Malice in Wonderland Prequel Malice in Wonderland #1: Alice the Assassin Malice in Wonderland #2: Alice the Angel of Death Malice In Wonderland #3: Alice the Girl Who Will Tear Your Heart Out and Show It To You Before You Die Malice Hates Fairy Tales Trilogy Jabberwocky Trilogy



Malice in Wonderland #1: Alice the Assassin

Author : Lotus Rose

Publisher : Death Pout

Page : 118 pages

File Size : 42,64 MB

Release :

Category : Juvenile Fiction

ISBN :

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Book Description

From the author of Dorothy vs. Alice comes this dementedly funny reimagining of the classic tale. Alice never left Wonderland. She's trapped. She's angry. And she wants revenge. The truth is not what you were led to believe. It wasn't all "just a dream." It's a nightmare. A nightmare she can't escape, where formerly pleasant characters throw her unhappy unbirthday parties to torment her, while others like to make her cry so they can lick her tears. But one day after years of this unpleasantness, she loses her heart. Literally. Well, technically someone steals it. And she has to get it back. By any means necessary. And it's a lot easier to be ruthless now that she's heartless. Alice is fed up with all the losers of Wonderland, from the goofy Mad Hatter to the bloodthirsty Cheshire Cat to the sadistic Queen of Hearts. And Alice is tired of being so sweet and innocent, with all her dimples. She used to be a preteen, but today is her 13th birthday, and she’ll be singing unhappy birthday loudly as she delivers violent justice! Yeah, she used to be so sweet you could die. Well, now they all shall die…literally. Yes, from now on, she shall deal death with two dimples and a giggled kill line. She’ll be a super cute Angel of Death! It may be 1865, but Alice is about to go medieval. She will have her heart returned to her even if she has to kill all the citizens of Wonderland one by one… Malice in Wonderland Saga Malice in Wonderland Prequel Malice in Wonderland #1: Alice the Assassin Malice in Wonderland #2: Alice the Angel of Death Malice In Wonderland #3: Alice the Girl Who Will Tear Your Heart Out and Show It To You Before You Die Malice Hates Fairy Tales Trilogy Jabberwocky Trilogy Dorothy vs. Alice Trilogy Keywords: free Alice in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass, Lewis Carroll, Lewis Carol, Cheshire Cat, Mad Hatter, Humpty Dumpty, Gregory Maguire, Coraline, twisted fairy tales, fairy tale retellings, reboot, horror, paranormal,fantasy, coming of age, teen, Jabberwock, Jabberwocky, Caterpillar, Tweedledum, Tweedledee, Red Queen, Queen of Hearts, Tim Burton, Serena Valentino, Wicked Queen, knight, steampunk, victorian, british, period piece, Dorothy Must Die,parody, Through the Looking Glass, The Hunting of the Snark



Malice in Wonderland Prequel

Author : Lotus Rose

Publisher : Death Pout

Page : 117 pages

File Size : 34,6 MB

Release :

Category : Fiction

ISBN :

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Book Description

A prequel to the dark comedy Malice in Wonderland trilogy. A peek inside the minds of Alice and the other characters of Wonderland before she killed them. This volume follows Alice from the age of 7, where Lewis Carroll left off telling her story, to the age of 12. It doesn’t detail everything that happened during that time, because frankly that would be boring, since mostly Alice served as a doormat to the citizens of Wonderland. (Don’t worry, though, she gets her revenge when she turns 13.) Instead, the book hops around between certain key points in Alice’s and the other characters histories, with each event linked to the next, not necessarily in chronological order. This precedes Malice in Wonderland #1: Alice the Assassin Here's its blurb: Alice will get her heart back even if she has to kill everyone in Wonderland one by one… The truth is not what you were led to believe. Alice never left Wonderland. It wasn’t all “just a dream.” It’s a nightmare. A nightmare she can’t escape, where formerly pleasant characters throw her unhappy unbirthday parties to torment her, while others like to make her cry so they can lick her tears. But one day after years of this unpleasantness, she loses her heart. Literally. Well, technically someone steals it. And she has to get it back. By any means necessary. And it’s a lot easier to be ruthless now that she’s heartless. Keywords: Alice in Wonderland books parody, Mad Hatter Malice in Wonderland Saga Malice in Wonderland Prequel Malice in Wonderland #1: Alice the Assassin Malice in Wonderland #2: Alice the Angel of Death Malice In Wonderland #3: Alice the Girl Who Will Tear Your Heart Out and Show It To You Before You Die Malice Hates Fairy Tales Trilogy Jabberwocky Trilogy



Malice Hates Fairy Tales #1

Author : Lotus Rose

Publisher : Death Pout

Page : 161 pages

File Size : 47,72 MB

Release : 2016-01-05

Category : Fiction

ISBN :

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Book Description

In the fourth volume of the Malice in Wonderland Saga, the Brothers Grimm are trying to unleash twisted fairy tale beings into Wonderland. 15-year-old Queen Malice doesn’t want to deal with them. But then Malice’s dear friend, the Mad Hatter, is kidnapped. So to save him, she’s forced to work with Cinderella, and ends up getting sucked into Fairy Tale Land. If things keep going this way, the fairy tales might eventually cross over into the outside world, where her twin, Alice, lives. Malice struggles to do the right thing, but her heart keeps malfunctioning, sending her into fits of maliciousness. Killing Cinderella would be bad, right? By the author of Malice in Wonderland. Malice in Wonderland Saga Malice in Wonderland Prequel Malice in Wonderland #1: Alice the Assassin Malice in Wonderland #2: Alice the Angel of Death Malice In Wonderland #3: Alice the Girl Who Will Tear Your Heart Out and Show It To You Before You Die Malice Hates Fairy Tales Trilogy Jabberwocky Trilogy Dorothy vs. Alice Trilogy Keywords: teens young adult fantasy paranormal historical fairy tales myths, twisted Alice in Wonderland, gothic Alice in Wonderland, Mad Hatter, Cinderella, Cheshire Cat, madness returns, free Alice in Wonderland, twisted tales, twisted fairy tales, fairy tale retellings



Malice Hates Fairy Tales #2

Author : Lotus Rose

Publisher : Death Pout

Page : 149 pages

File Size : 28,17 MB

Release : 2016-01-05

Category : Fiction

ISBN :

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Book Description

Twisted fairy tale beings have been unleashed into Wonderland, and Queen Malice wants to kick them out. But the man known as the Storyteller wants to make a sick game of it all. So he sets up a series of challenges in which Malice and the Queen of Hearts must go up against the fairy tales. It’s a demented and deadly game, in which Malice risks losing those she cherishes most—the Mad Hatter, Humpty, and the Tweedle Twins. Saving Wonderland from fairy tale infestation isn’t going to be easy. Malice in Wonderland Saga Malice in Wonderland Prequel Malice in Wonderland #1: Alice the Assassin Malice in Wonderland #2: Alice the Angel of Death Malice In Wonderland #3: Alice the Girl Who Will Tear Your Heart Out and Show It To You Before You Die Malice Hates Fairy Tales Trilogy Jabberwocky Trilogy