Mother Love/mother Hate


Book Description

"Many a loving mother has had fleeting feelings of hatred toward her children - the desire to hurl a howling baby out the window or to lock a teenager out of the house. In this provocative book, Rozsika Parker argues that these ambivalent feelings not only are common but can actually have a creative impact on mothering." "Mother Love/Mother Hate boldly illustrates how a mother's desire for devotion coexists with the impulse to hurt and desert. Parents will find Parker's insight into the conflicts that beset them illuminating and deeply reassuring. Reversing the conventional psychoanalytic approach, in which maternal ambivalence has been understood chiefly from the point of view of the child, this book gives precedence to the mother's perspective. Drawing on interviews with mothers, clinical material from her practice as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist, and a wide range of psychoanalytic and literary sources (including Virginia Woolf, Anne Tyler, Simone de Beauvoir, D. W. Winnicott, Melanie Klein, and John Bowlby), Parker explores experiences of maternal ambivalence in a culture painfully and profoundly uneasy about its very existence."--BOOK JACKET.Title Summary field provided by Blackwell North America, Inc. All Rights Reserved




18 Reasons Why Mothers Hate Their Babies


Book Description

This book is about babies and mothers, but also about fathers, adolescents, lovers and others. Dr. Costello explores, among other themes, eighteen reasons why mothers hate their babies, even as they love them. It's a book of aphorisms intended for everyone because childhood experiences affect us all. A lecturer in philosophy and psychology, Dr. Costello draws on a wealth of material; he shares the reflections of philosophers and psychoanalysts on a subject he clearly finds fascinating. --Amazon.com




Mothers-in-law and Daughters-in-law


Book Description

It's one of the oldest triangles: mother-in-law, daughter-in-law and the son/husband trapped in between. Now, Susan Barash gives readers the tools to better understand the insecurities, generational jealousies and power struggles that are inherent in these relationships. Combining candid accounts from real mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law with sound advice from noted psychologists and counselors, Barash gives insight into this complex dynamic and shows readers how to create mutually independent and rewarding relationships that allow mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law and sons/husbands to grow.




Mothers Who Can't Love


Book Description

With Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters, Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of the smash #1 bestseller Toxic Parents, offers a powerful look at the devastating impact unloving mothers have on their daughters—and provides clear, effective techniques for overcoming that painful legacy. In more than 35 years as a therapist, Forward has worked with large numbers of women struggling to escape the emotional damage inflicted by the women who raised them. Subjected to years of criticism, competition, role-reversal, smothering control, emotional neglect and abuse, these women are plagued by anxiety and depression, relationship problems, lack of confidence, and difficulties with trust. They doubt their worth, and even their ability to love. Forward examines the Narcissistic Mother, the Competitive Mother, the Overly Enmeshed mother, the Control Freak, Mothers who need Mothering, and mothers who abuse or fail to protect their daughters from abuse. Filled with compelling case histories, Mothers Who Can’t Love outlines the self-help techniques Forward has developed to transform the lives of her clients, showing women how to overcome the pain of childhood and how to act in their own best interests. Warm and compassionate, Mothers Who Can’t Love offers daughters the emotional support and tools they need to heal themselves and rebuild their confidence and self-respect.




I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!


Book Description

For mothers who are reeling from the rockiness of an ever-changing adolescent, or struggling with a relationship that's deteriorating by the day, here is encouragement, reassurance, and great advice. "I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!" discusses the social, emotional, cultural, and psychological issues that can lead to mother-daughter conflicts. It offers illuminating and very recognizable case studies, and demonstrates how mother-daughter friction during adolescence can actually empower girls by teaching them invaluable skills. By providing mothers with much-needed encouragement and practical strategies to help their daughters grow into emotionally healthy and capable adults, "I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!" can transform the tempestuous teenage years into years of positive, enriching growth.




Torn in Two


Book Description

Can the coexistence of love and hate actually stimulate and sharpen a mother's awareness of what is going on between her and her child? Reversing the conventional psychoanalytic approach, in which maternal ambivalence has been chiefly understood from the point of view of the child, this book gives precedence to the mother's perspective. Rozsika Parker draws on interviews with mothers, clinical material from her practice as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist, and a range of literary and popular sources, to create a powerful exploration of maternal ambivalence in a culture painfully and profoundly uneasy at its very existence. Original and accessible, with new readings of the work of Klein, Winnicoot, Bowlby and others, Torn in Two will enrich and change our thinking about mothering.




Mom, I Hate My Life!


Book Description

“I don’t know why my daughter is so angry. She yells at me all the time!” “Our daughter comes home, goes straight to her room, turns on her CD player and won’t talk to anyone– especially me.” “The emotional ups and downs of our daughter’s life make us all feel like we’re on a roller coaster.” Navigating an adolescent daughter’s emotional life is one of a mom’s toughest challenges. A teenage girl’s volatile emotions can seemingly toss her–and you–like a hurricane. When a scary external world and a turbulent internal world collide, the result is sometimes overwhelming and confusing. What can you do to protect your relationship with your daughter, guide her through this chaotic time, and assure her you are truly on her side? Your Adolescent Daughter’ s Struggles Can Help Her–and You–to Grow and Thrive. The good news is you are equipped with the most powerful resource available for maintaining and developing connection with your daughter: a mother’s heart. Learn how you can use hand-in-hand mothering skills to become the ally your daughter needs–parenting out of love, not fear–and find out how you both can experience dramatic, life-changing growth in the process.




The Maternal Experience


Book Description

The Maternal Experience explores the powerful and dynamic nature of maternal ambivalence and disrupts the conventional narrative of the mother’s lived experience by arguing that encounters with feelings of hatred are both universal and have the capacity to stimulate and enrich her maternal love. The book draws on the author’s personal mothering experiences, those of other women, and examples from film to inspire new introspection about the everyday maternal experience. Lowy takes a psychosocial approach to weave thinking from selected psychoanalytic and contemporary accounts together with personal stories to explore how maternal ambivalence operates, and how mothering is sourced in psychic struggles between loving and hating feelings in an atmosphere that is rife with social and personal expectations and prohibitions. By reworking the experience of maternal ambivalence, the book secures an understanding of the mother’s feelings of hatred as a catalyst for her love and allows these maligned and taboo emotions to be named and reframed into acceptable and transformative feelings. Brought alive by examples from film and first-hand experience, this book is fascinating reading for academics and students of psychology, maternal and women’s studies, and sociology, as well as practitioners in the fields of psychology, social work, medicine and counselling.




What My Mother Gave Me


Book Description

In What My Mother Gave Me, women look at the relationships between mothers and daughters through a new lens: a daughter’s story of a gift from her mother that has touched her to the bone and served as a model, a metaphor, or a touchstone in her own life. The contributors of these thirty-one original pieces include Pulitzer Prize winners, perennial bestselling novelists, and celebrated broadcast journalists. Whether a gift was meant to keep a daughter warm, put a roof over her head, instruct her in the ways of womanhood, encourage her talents, or just remind her of a mother’s love, each story gets to the heart of a relationship. Rita Dove remembers the box of nail polish that inspired her to paint her nails in the wild stripes and polka dots she wears to this day. Lisa See writes about the gift of writing from her mother, Carolyn See. Cecilia Muñoz remembers both the wok her mother gave her and a lifetime of home-cooked family meals. Judith Hillman Paterson revisits the year of sobriety her mother bequeathed to her when Paterson was nine, the year before her mother died of alcoholism. Abigail Pogrebin writes about her middle-aged bat mitzvah, for which her mother provided flowers after a lifetime of guilt for skipping her daughter’s religious education. Margo Jefferson writes about her mother’s gold dress from the posh department store where they could finally shop as black women. Collectively, the pieces have a force that feels as elemental as the tides: outpourings of lightness and darkness; joy and grief; mother love and daughter love; mother love and daughter rage. In these stirring words we find that every gift, ?no matter how modest, tells the story of a powerful bond. As Elizabeth Benedict points out in her introduction, “whether we are mothers, daughters, aunts, sisters, or cherished friends, we may not know for quite some time which presents will matter the most."




I Hate You Mom


Book Description

One beautiful summer night, Felicity was having SO MUCH FUN playing in her back yard, until Mom came and said: "Felicity, it's time to come inside. It's time to go to bed." From there, Felicity's FUN and HAPPY moment quickly turns into ANGRY "I hate you, Mom!" How could Felicity and Mom turn this ANGRY moment into a moment of LOVE? How could this be a story of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE? One of the many challenges we face as parents at some points in our parenting journey is the moment when our children act out from the principle of "I'M HURTING, SO I HURT YOU." In these challenging moments filled with RAW EMOTIONS, we as parents often get sucked into the intensity and we take it personally, feeling ATTACKED and HURT. As a result, we tend to react with the same principle, failing to RESPOND CALMLY with LOVE. Your children, you, and the parent-child relationship are all hurt in the process. It is my hope that this story inspires children, parents, and families to appreciate those intense moments as great OPPORTUNITIES to learn about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Use these challenges as stepping stones to continue nurturing RELATIONSHIP of TRUST. When children have opportunities to experience "unconditional love" with you in action, they not only learn to love you and others unconditionally, but they also learn to love themselves unconditionally. The gift of UNCONDITIONAL SELF-LOVE can offer a healthier and more balanced foundation for our children as they continue to explore their life journey ahead.