Mourning the Unborn Dead


Book Description

Many Western visitors to Japan have been struck by the numerous cemeteries for aborted fetuses, which are characterized by throngs of images of the Bodhisattva Jizo, usually dressed in red baby aprons or other baby garments, and each dedicated to an individual fetus. Abortion is common in Japan and as a consequence one of the frequently performed rituals in Japanese Buddhism is mizuko-kuyo, a ceremony for aborted and miscarried fetuses. Over the past forty years, mizuko-kuyo has gradually come to America, where it has been appropriated by non-Buddhists as well as Buddhist practitioners. In this book, Jeff Wilson examines how and why Americans of different backgrounds have brought knowledge and performance of this Japanese ceremony to the United States. Drawing on his own extensive fieldwork in Japan and the U.S., as well as the literature in both Japanese and English, Wilson shows that the meaning and purpose of the ritual have changed greatly in the American context. In Japan, mizuko-kuyo is performed to placate the potentially dangerous spirit of the angry fetus. In America, however, it has come to be seen as a way for the mother to mourn and receive solace for her loss. Many American women who learn about mizuko-kuyo are struck by the lack of such a ceremony and see it as filling a very important need. Ceremonies are now performed even for losses that took place many years ago. Wilson's well-written study not only contributes to the growing literature on American Buddhism, but sheds light on a range of significant issues in Buddhist studies, interreligious contact, women's studies, and even bioethics.




Empty Cradle, Broken Heart


Book Description

Reassurance for parents who struggle with anger, guilt, and despair after a miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death.




Grieving the Child I Never Knew


Book Description

When the anticipation of your child’s birth turns into the grief of miscarriage, tubal pregnancy, stillbirth, or early infant death, no words on earth can ease your loss. But there is strength and encouragement in the wisdom of others who have been there and found that God’s comfort is real.Having experienced three miscarriages and the death of an infant son, Kathe Wunnenberg knows the deep anguish of losing a child. Grieving the Child I Never Knew was born from her personal journey through sorrow. It is a wise and tender companion for mothers whose hearts have been broken--mothers like you whose dreams have been shattered and who wonder how to go on. This devotional collection will help you grieve honestly and well. With seasoned insights and gentle questions, it invites you to present your hurts before God, and to receive over time the healing that He alone can--and will--provide. Each devotion includes:* Scripture passage and prayer* "Steps Toward Healing" questions * Space for journalingReadings for holidays and special occasions also included




Finding Meaning


Book Description

In this groundbreaking new work, David Kessler—an expert on grief and the coauthor with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross of the iconic On Grief and Grieving—journeys beyond the classic five stages to discover a sixth stage: meaning. In 1969, Elisabeth Kübler Ross first identified the stages of dying in her transformative book On Death and Dying. Decades later, she and David Kessler wrote the classic On Grief and Grieving, introducing the stages of grief with the same transformative pragmatism and compassion. Now, based on hard-earned personal experiences, as well as knowledge and wisdom earned through decades of work with the grieving, Kessler introduces a critical sixth stage. Many people look for “closure” after a loss. Kessler argues that it’s finding meaning beyond the stages of grief most of us are familiar with—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—that can transform grief into a more peaceful and hopeful experience. In this book, Kessler gives readers a roadmap to remembering those who have died with more love than pain; he shows us how to move forward in a way that honors our loved ones. Kessler’s insight is both professional and intensely personal. His journey with grief began when, as a child, he witnessed a mass shooting at the same time his mother was dying. For most of his life, Kessler taught physicians, nurses, counselors, police, and first responders about end of life, trauma, and grief, as well as leading talks and retreats for those experiencing grief. Despite his knowledge, his life was upended by the sudden death of his twenty-one-year-old son. How does the grief expert handle such a tragic loss? He knew he had to find a way through this unexpected, devastating loss, a way that would honor his son. That, ultimately, was the sixth state of grief—meaning. In Finding Meaning, Kessler shares the insights, collective wisdom, and powerful tools that will help those experiencing loss. Finding Meaning is a necessary addition to grief literature and a vital guide to healing from tremendous loss. This is an inspiring, deeply intelligent must-read for anyone looking to journey away from suffering, through loss, and towards meaning.




Ghostbelly


Book Description

In this courageous memoir, Elizabeth Heineman “illuminates the complex emotional landscape of stillbirth—putting into frank and poetic words the unspeakable experience of simultaneously grieving and mothering a baby who has died” (Deborah L. Davis). Ghostbelly is Elizabeth Heineman’s personal account of a home birth that goes tragically wrong—ending in a stillbirth—and the harrowing process of grief and questioning that follows. It’s also Heineman’s unexpected tale of the loss of a newborn: before burial, she brings the baby home for overnight stays. Does this sound unsettling? Of course. We’re not supposed to hold and caress dead bodies. But then again, babies aren’t supposed to die. Interwoven with her own accounts of mourning, Heineman examines the home-birth and maternal health-care industry, the isolation of midwives, and the scripting of her own grief. With no resolution to sadness, Heineman and her partner learn to live in a new world: a world in which they face each day with the understanding of the fragility of the present.




The Pagan Book of Living and Dying


Book Description

An accessible guide to rituals and resources for honoring death in the circle of life. Birth, growth, death, and rebirth are a cycle that forms the underlying order of the universe. This is the core of Pagan belief—and the heart of this unique resource guide to death and the process of dying. Filled with encouragement, strength, and inspiration, The Pagan Book of Living and Dying is an invaluable source of both spiritual counsel and very practical tools and techniques for: Honoring and caring for a dying person Grieving a beloved relative, partner, or friend Planning a funeral or memorial service Distributing personal possessions and making room in the home for a loved one’s memory Understanding and mourning specific types of death, including miscarriage and terminal illness Providing instructions for one’s own death And much more Bestselling author Starhawk and other Pagan writers have combined practical rituals with prayers, chants, blessings, meditations, essays, and insightful personal stories to offer a new understanding of death and a powerful new approach to the various stages of dying and grieving. A beautifully crafted and deeply spiritual guidebook, The Pagan Book of Living and Dying teaches that death, like birth, is a doorway—another stage in the cycle of life. It will enhance the spiritual beliefs of readers of any faith and help each of us learn to welcome the change and renewal that awaits us on the other side of life. “Far more than another how-to ritual book. I found the reflections to be very moving. Rituals are easily accessible and well-grounded in the core Pagan understanding of the cycle of Birth/Death/Rebirth. . . . I recommend it for Pagans and others who might be facing dying or grieving.” —SageWoman




Silent Grief


Book Description

Almost 200,000 couples in America each year suffer through the tragedy of miscarriage. And that statistic only tells us about first trimester miscarriages. The emotional pain of longer-term miscarriages, and the untold numbers of mothers and fathers who keep silent about their hurt, make this form of child loss especially cruel.But in Silent Grief, author Clara Hinton brings a clear message of hope through the cold mourning. Writing of her own grief, and interviewing scores of women and men, she offers not pat answers, but instead show us this: You are not alone.




Hill Women


Book Description

After rising from poverty to earn two Ivy League degrees, an Appalachian lawyer pays tribute to the strong “hill women” who raised and inspired her, and whose values have the potential to rejuvenate a struggling region. “Destined to be compared to Hillbilly Elegy and Educated.”—BookPage (starred review) “A gritty, warm love letter to Appalachian communities and the resourceful women who lead them.”—Slate Nestled in the Appalachian mountains, Owsley County, Kentucky, is one of the poorest places in the country. Buildings are crumbling as tobacco farming and coal mining decline. But strong women find creative ways to subsist in the hills. Through the women who raised her, Cassie Chambers traces her path out of and back into the Kentucky mountains. Chambers’s Granny was a child bride who rose before dawn every morning to raise seven children. Granny’s daughter, Ruth—the hardest-working tobacco farmer in the county—stayed on the family farm, while Wilma—the sixth child—became the first in the family to graduate from high school. Married at nineteen and pregnant with Cassie a few months later, Wilma beat the odds to finish college. She raised her daughter to think she could move mountains, like the ones that kept her safe but also isolated from the larger world. Cassie would spend much of her childhood with Granny and Ruth in the hills of Owsley County. With her “hill women” values guiding her, she went on to graduate from Harvard Law. But while the Ivy League gave her opportunities, its privileged world felt far from her reality, and she moved home to help rural Kentucky women by providing free legal services. Appalachian women face issues from domestic violence to the opioid crisis, but they are also keeping their towns together in the face of a system that continually fails them. With nuance and heart, Chambers breaks down the myth of the hillbilly and illuminates a region whose poor communities, especially women, can lead it into the future.




Motherhood Lost


Book Description

Nearly 20% of all pregnancies in the U.S. end in miscarriage or stillbirth. Yet pregnancy loss is seldom acknowledged and rarely discussed. Opening the topic to a thoughtful and informed discussion, Linda Layne takes a historical look at pregnancy loss in America, reproductive technologies and the cultural responses surrounding miscarriage. Examining both support groups and the rituals they create to help couples through loss, her analysis offers valuable insight on how material culture contributes to conceptions of personhood. A fascinating examination, Motherhood Lost is also a provocative challenge to feminists and other activists to increase awareness and provide necessary support for this often hidden but critically important topic.




Tibetan Book of the Dead


Book Description

Derived from a Buddhist funerary text, this famous volume's timeless wisdom includes instructions for attaining enlightenment, preparing for the process of dying, and moving through the various stages of rebirth.