My Bible Says the Darndest Things


Book Description

Listening to the Bible is exponentially more powerful than reading it. You pick up on fascinating, curious, and alarming things you miss when you read it: The serpent in Eden told the truth; Cain married a wife and built a city with a global population of only three people; women are sexual predators; disabled people desecrated Gods temple; the earth went into a counter revolution; God approved polygamy, and recommended slavery; a runaway slave got converted to Christianity and was promptly sent back to his slave master; the soon and imminent coming of Jesus is 2000 years over due! As the author listened to his Bible and compared what he heard with what is deemed appropriate, reasonable, and civilized in this modern era, he could not help but conclude that his Bible does say the darndest things.




Corpses Say The Darndest Things


Book Description

It was a simple job: keep an eye on the minister's wife until she goes safely to bed. Then all hell broke loose. The death of a beloved Chicago televangelist’s wife is only the beginning; someone is homiciding their way through the Temple of Majesty Church. Private eye Nod Blake - an aging throwback to an era of detecting on the mean streets - has been dumped in the middle of it all, on his head. The resulting injuries seem to have opened a door to the hereafter: Blake believes dead people are talking to him. But are the victims really begging the gumshoe for help from the other side of the grave? When his nemesis, Detective Lieutenant Wenders, finds evidence that Blake is the murderer, the private dick's life becomes a great big soup sandwich. Doug Lamoreux's 'Corpses Say the Darndest Things' is a riveting murder mystery with a sly sense of humor, set in 1979 Chicago where a maniacal killer on the loose in The Windy City... is the good news.




Kids Say the Darndest Things!


Book Description

Playbook




Kids Say the Darndest Things!


Book Description

Almost 50 years since its first printing, this famous collection of children's wisdom and witticisms is now back in print in a facsimile edition to entertain a whole new generation. KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS! includes the best of the unconsciously funny, everyday thoughts and reactions kids shared with kid-at-heart Art Linkletter on his long-running radio and television series House Party .Gems include tips for conjuring up a sibling: "Give Mommy a lot of real sweet food so she'll get fat -that's how you get a baby ";and hysterical observations: "Our pussycat has got some kittens and I didn't even know she was married. "Illustrated with cartoons by Charles Schulz (yes, that Charles Schulz) and with a new introduction by Bill Cosby, KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS! will prove as popular with the readers of today as it was when it first was published five decades ago.







Dim Wit


Book Description

'They misunderestimated me' George W. Bush Einstein said only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity. So in deference to the dumbing down of our culture, comes Dim Wit - a collection of the most jaw-droppingly stupid things ever said. The cast includes every famous foot-in-mouther from George W Bush to Prince Philip, Paris Hilton to Jade Goody, not to mention hundreds of unsung idiots plucked from villages the world over. The result is a confederacy of dunces more pro-fun than profound - a clever witticism may coax an inward smile but it takes a really stupid remark to deliver a belly laugh. So pick up Dim Wit and prepare to embrace your inner moron - it may be the smartest thing you do... 'My grandma overheard two women talking in a doctor's surgery. After a while, one said to the other, "Do you know, Mary, I don't feel too well. I think I'll go home."' - Robyn Jankel 'I don't think anyone should write his autobiography until after he's dead.' - Samuel Goldwyn 'Winston Churchill? Wasn't he the first black President of America? There's a statue of him near me - that's black.' - Danielle Lloyd




The Boy Who Knew Too Much


Book Description

"Mommy, I used to be a tall baseball player."Yes, you will be a tall baseball player someday."With a look of exasperation, he stomped his foot and hollered."No! I was a tall baseball player—tall like Daddy!" What was my son trying to say to me? Did he mean . . . he couldn’t mean . . . was he trying to tell me that he was a grown-up in a previous lifetime?At the tender age of two, baseball prodigy Christian Haupt began sharing vivid memories of being a baseball player in the 1920s and ’30s. From riding cross-country on trains, to his fierce rivalry with Babe Ruth, Christian described historical facts about the life of American hero and baseball legend Lou Gehrig that he could not have possibly known at the time.Distraught by her son’s uncanny revelations, Christian’s mother, Cathy, embarked on a sacred journey of discovery that would shake her beliefs to the core and forever change her views on life and death.In this compelling and heartwarming memoir, Cathy Byrd shares her remarkable experiences, the lessons she learned as she searched to find answers to this great mystery, and a story of healing in the lives of these intertwined souls.The Boy Who Knew Too Much will inspire even the greatest skeptics to consider the possibility that love never dies.




Adult Bible Studies Spring 2022 Teacher/Commentary Kit


Book Description

Adult Bible Studies Spring 2022 Theme: Follow The lessons this quarter are confined to two units so that we can observe the season of Lent. Authentic discipleship involves imitating Jesus, and we must begin with an understanding of Jesus as Messiah and the kingdom to which he invites us to belong. We soon discover as we follow Jesus that his kingdom turns our expectations totally upside down. As we walk with Jesus, we must admit that we sometimes totally miss the mark. Yet Christ forgives us, restores us, and equips us to live into our identities as Christ-followers. As his followers, we have responsibilities and opportunities to help grow the kingdom. One way is through stewardship, a concept that is much broader than we may think. Our role involves using not only our physical resources but indeed our very lives as grace-filled cohabitants in God’s marvelous creation. Unit 1: The Mark You Make Discipleship in Mark’s Gospel is often described as the way of the cross because of the repeated emphasis upon following Jesus on the way to Jerusalem and the command to take up one’s cross and follow Jesus (Mark 8:34). In this season when we commemorate Jesus’ journey to Jerusalem, we give our attention to various aspects of discipleship we find in Mark’s Gospel. Scriptures: Mark 8:27-38; Mark 9:38-50; Mark 10:35-45; Mark 11:12-14, 20-25; Mark 13:5-8, 28-37; Mark 14: 27-42; Mark 16:1-8 Spiritual Practice: Reflection and self-examination Unit 2: The Steps You Take Creation care has become a prominent topic of discussion in Christian congregations and seminaries during the last couple of decades. While disagreement exists about human responsibility for climate change and to what extent we should limit human activity for the purpose of preservation of endangered species and habitats, Scripture makes clear that God takes pleasure in creation and that our role as stewards requires that we appreciate creation and take our responsibility as stewards seriously. Scriptures: Psalm 104; Leviticus 25:1-13; Deuteronomy 14:22-29; Job 38:4-11; Joel 2:18-26; Romans 8:19-22; 2 Corinthians 9 Spiritual Practice: Nurture and care of all creation Adult Bible Studies components include: Student Book Published quarterly, each week's Student Book lesson lists background Scripture, features key verses, provides reliable and relevant biblical explanation and application, and more, in a readable font size that is accessible to everyone. Teacher Book/Commentary Kit Each quarterly Teacher/Commentary Kit includes a Teacher Book with additional biblical background and exposition and suggestions for guiding group discussion and a copy of the new quarterly Adult Bible Studies Concise Commentary, designed for readers who seek additional background on the biblical text for each session of Adult Bible Studies. Video-DVD Does your group enjoy watching videos to generate conversation around Bible studies? Video sessions directly correspond to the Adult Bible Studies quarter’s theme and content and features a segment for each Bible lesson. Hundreds of thousands of people each week have transformative encounters with God through Adult Bible Studies—Bible-based, Christ-focused Sunday school lessons and midweek Bible studies endorsed by the Curriculum Resources Committee of the The United Methodist Church. Lessons follow the church seasons, including Advent and Lent, and include suggestions for developing spiritual practices to help nurture your faith.







Simply, Joy


Book Description

There is no other book on the market like this one because it is filled with simply Joy's story. Joy was a pastor's wife who, . with tremendous passion and transparency, tells her story. Feeling somewhat like the Apostle Paul, she has been bitten, beaten, and generally bashed about, yet with the help of Almighty God, she did not allow Satan to rob her of her joy! From the simple to the profound, with winsomeness, wit, and wisdom, she shares her thoughts, testimony, contemplations, and compilations on the living God. This book will lead the unbelieving to the infallible proof of who God is. It will challenge each Christian with every fiber of their being to allow the Holy Spirit to set them on fire for their living Lord! No atheist can walk away doubting, and no genuine believer can remain lukewarm. Joy Lawson lives in southern California. She is a graduate of Capital Bible College in Sacramento, California. She was licensed as a minister by the Church of the Marina in Marina del Rey, California. Joy has been active in prison ministries, music ministries, convalescent hospital ministries, and children's and women's ministries. She has authored articles for numerous newsletters, has been a conference speaker, and has been interviewed on KKLA in Los Angeles. Sharing some comments from her last women's conference, "Joy is the definition of her name; she is such an inspiration and has such a heart for God; her devotion and enthusiasm are infectious; through incredible trials and tribulations, her passion and fervor are a refreshment for the soul!"