Book Description

My Life So Far (A collection of poetry) Written by. Moet Williams Table of contents 2. Introduction 3.Can you believe it? 4.Life and love 5.Knowing the unknown 6. Invisible girl 7. I am 8. Human 9. Dead dreams 10. Blinded by the past 11. Love is 12. My first 13. Second chance 14. Harsh reality 15. Nobody knows 16. Loving an old flame 17. I am me 18. The voices 19. An inner war 20. Love, scary? 21. Questions 22. Long distance love story 23. Acknowledgements Introduction Hello there, if you made it this far into this I just want to thank you for wanting to know more about me. So without further adieu this is the poetry of my life. I have been writing since I was around 14 or 15 years of age, but I have been very vocal about what I want to do with my life and that is writing any and everything. I have had a passion for writing since I was 12 as far as I can remember. Writing will always be my first and last true love in my life. I have seen how much my writing has matured over the years and I am very proud of the pieces you will read throughout this book. I am still writing but the very last poem is my latest piece and I am so grateful for the opportunity to share the world with my talent. Many people will look at this and judge or say these poems are not good and I am okay with that, I know that throughout the obstacles in my life the only thing that kept me sane was my writing and my ability to write and for a while I wasn't writing. I thought I had lost the passion or even worse the gift of being able to write and it took me a minute to know that that wasn't true. I have told my life in more ways than one in my poetry and you will see that as you read them in this book. It took me a long time to find the strength to create this book. I hope you really take in my work and understand me a little more. Thank you for willing to read and understand me through my poetry, this was a long overdue project for me. Can you believe it? Can you believe it? that at 13 I was depressed Can you believe it? that I'm afraid of my past coming back to haunt me Can you believe it? that at 14 I was happy Can you believe it? that my happiness didn't last long Can you believe it? that I turned to pain as a way out Can you believe it? that I turned to music as a way out also Can you believe it? that at 15 I fell in love Can you believe it? that my first love hurt me deeply can you believe that for a brief second I was happy Can you believe it? that I was still turning to pain and music as a way out Can you believe it? that i'm still 15 and I'm still afraid of my past Can you believe it? that I'm now afraid for my future Life and love I once met a girl who at 15 fell in Love with a guy who was 19 they dated for a month and it was the worst month of her life she realized that she was in love but he wasn't when they broke up she was heart broken she kept it all inside she had other boyfriends but she didn't want them she wanted him by the time she was single he found someone new and fell in love again heartbroken she begin to go to pain and music to deal with the heartbreak of losing the one she loves Knowing the unknown What is love? Love is laughing so hard you can't Breath Love is smiling till it hurts Love is crying till you can't cry no More What is life? Life is tears Life is smiles Life is mistakes and lessons What is me and you? I don't know what you and me is Is it love? is it forever? Is it never? I don't know Do you know what me and you are? Do you know if it is love? if it is Forever? If it is never? do you know? In life there is a sense of the Unknowing You never know what life holds for us So you chose your path in life Love is unknowing You could mistake love for lust Love won't last forever In both love and life There is a sense of the unknowing Can you figure it out Invisible girl invisible girl that's me no one can see me invisible is me invisible girl that's me no one can hear me invisible is me invisible girl that's me the ghost of darkness invisible is me invisible girl that's me proud of it invisible is me invisible girl that's me embracing it invisible is me I am I am pretty smart funny I am an actor a singer a poet I am a writer a painter a song writer I am different human undefined Human Human This one word has a lot to say can it be defined Human It defines anybody who can define it everybody can Human can be a person dead or alive so can it be defined Human it can be defined it defines me I am H.U.M.A.N Dead dreams I have high hopes in my life I want to be an actor some day I have the skills to do a lot of things I have low hopes in my life I do not think I can be a poet or actor some day I do not think I have the skills for that I have no hope in my life I think I am still the indivisible girl I have no hope in my life I have no dreams My dreams are dead Blinded by the past Blinded by the fear. Blinded by the past Chained away from the future Blinded by the pain of the past Blinded by the hate of the past Chained by the fear You can see the future It's in your hands, but the past holds you back Why? Cause you can't let go of the past. Let the past go Let the love in Stop being blind and love him He's worth it. He's earned the key to your heart. Love is Love is A 4 letter word that has no meaning Love is A 4 letter word nobody knows the true meaning of Love is a 4 letter word that lost meaning in the world Love is A 4 letter word that people use to destroy hearts Love is a 4 letter word and nothing more but a 4 letter word My first You are my first friend you are my first crush you are my first boyfriend you are my first love you are my first broken heart you are my first physical scar you are my first emotional scar you are my first you are my last Second chance Cutting her wrists deeper and deeper she is about ready to leave leave this earth and never come back she looks up and she can see god He says it is not your time it is not your time to be with me Her mother beating on her bedroom door Her mom kicks the door down she sees her baby passed out on the floor bleeding she calls 911 She wakes up in a hospital bed She got a second chance A second chance at life Harsh reality Nigga claim he loves me Cares for me Only want me Left so many times Then came right back Talking about he'll never leave again. But turns around and threats to leave How do I live like this? Wanna leave? But I know I'll be right back A vicious cycle I'm stuck in How do I get out of it? Don't know what to do. Tired of this life Trying to figure out what to do Know I love him Know I can't live without How do I live? I can't believe a word he says I can't trust his word Tired of the cycle I'm in Just wanna scream out Just wanna break out of it Don't know how? Don't know what to do anymore. You was the same nigga I stayed up for Same nigga I put up with All the accusations from you All the fights All the name calling I stayed and you go and break my heart Did what you accused me of doing And what makes it worse with an ex of yours. Got me analyzing my body Figuring out the pain I'm feeling Hating myself Feeling so ugly wishing for the dream to be over Sadly it's not a dream, it's a harsh reality. Nobody knows Nobody knows the pain I go through to coop Nobody knows How much blood I see every time Nobody knows why I go through it Nobody knows the pain of my past Nobody knows Why I'm afraid of my past Nobody knows why my future is just as scary as my past Nobody knows And i'm not ready to tell why Loving an old flame Loving and old flame all over again.... The irony in that My ex bf is my baby... I'll always love him My old love refurbished Into a deeper love Into a deeper connection. Into something stronger and solid Loving him all over again Loving my best friend all over again.... I fall deeper in love everyday All over again He does no wrong I have not hate for anything he does I love everything about him I'm happy again with him Yay I am me I am Not a normal girl I am an undefined girl I am Not a normal girl I am an emo girl I am Not a normal girl I listen to rock music and love it I am Not a normal girl I am just me The voices Voices in my head screaming Voices screaming for help As death comes near the voices get louder Bright lights shining, more voices But maybe it's all In my head No one knows I'm dying No one knows I am here in this position No one cares enough to see Voices in my head screaming out Voices screaming for help As death grows near The voices in my head grow silent. Life flashing before my eyes Wishing that dying was faster Painless, but slow death An inner war Everyday there is a war inside me My heart and my mind fighting My heart screams out louder Than my mind, but there's still war My heart and mind fight everyday My mind can say one thing My heart another Screaming at the top of their lungs at each other And then silence is left As one battle has ended, but the war hasn't It's an everyday battle Between my heart and mind Everytime the battle ends I'm left to decide who's right? My heart or my mind Who I should listen to? My heart or my mind. I somehow mistakenly choose my mind My mind I always seems to listen to My heart always seems to silence or cage it, but never free it. I have a heart caged away. I have a heart screaming to be listened to A heart wanting to be free. There's a war inside me everyday A war I can only stop by freeing my heart from its cage Love, scary? Love, scary? Maybe There's always something to be afraid Love is one Love, hurtful? No, it may seem like it but no It's peaceful to love in caged It's beautiful. Love, scary? Yeah, but it's worth it. Loving someone unconditional and uncaged is worth it Questions Question after question swirl in my mind everyday Question after question form in my head that I am and was to scared to ask you and them Hate fueling up in my body everyday since the day Hate pouring out of me at people that dont deserve it For so long I have been afraid of the dark For so long I have been afraid of you… of myself and how far this razor can go For so long I have been guilty of it all. Question after question make shape in my mind everyday Question after question runs through my mind like a track star everyday Depression is getting stronger and stronger as time goes by Life goes on and time goes on without a care in the world for us humans and our emotions To afraid to speak to you or anyone about the incident To afraid everyday to sleep in the dark every night My fear and hatred and anger and depression takes over and overwhelms me like boulders daily Question after question pushed deeper and deeper into the back of my mind Question after question cloud my mind like a thick fog Long nights and rough mornings get harder and harder to deal with All the booze and drugs in the world don’t help clear the fog On a daily basis I look for some type of numbing to just be okay for one night Just in search of one night of bliss and peace….. Just one night Long distance love story I was hurting when you came along I didn't know how it should feel to be loved I tried to be perfect, but no one is perfect We ain't perfect, but the love we share is perfect Our date, I'll never forget Even if I do you will be the to help me remember I get a heart push when your name comes across my phone Still got a crush on you even though you are mine A queen on my throne, next to you my king Wishing everyday to touch your face The distance is killing me Our love with each FaceTime call Asking the man upstairs for a different type of love Took me months to see I had what I was praying for Been through hell and back for someone who didn't want me for years I know if we go through hell, we will reach heaven So far away from each other I need you here I need to know your feelings Sucky ass distance, stronger love I miss sleeping on the phone with you at night Your voice, my Lullaby I can't imagine life without you All I want is you I don't know what I'll do without you my love Probably lose my mind We a secret nonetheless Society would judge us Society would try to destroy us One day we will see each other The distance won't be so bad soon enough Miles apart yet stronger together Sucky ass distance, stronger love Acknowledgements Thank you to everyone that has inspired me throughout my life and was my inspiration behind every piece you just read. I would also like to thank my family and friends who have always supported me and encouraged me to continue my craft, couldn't have done it without you. This book was a dream come true for me and in a million years I never thought I would actually finish it at my age. Thank you to everyone that has read it, hopefully you can understand me and my life a little better. Thank you for taking the time to read this book, I am so grateful and humbled to finally see my dream come to life, I can't say thank you enough to everyone.