Portrait of Divorce


Book Description

Despite the increase of research on divorce, relatively little is known about such topics as how men adjust to divorce compared with women, how blacks adjust compared to whites, and what divorce adjustment looks like over time. Filling a gap in the literature, PORTRAIT OF DIVORCE presents a comprehensive and detailed report on the causes and consequences of divorce. Inclusive in its scope, the book covers the period of estrangement through the divorce process and on to 4 years after the couples separated. The work is based on the integration of original data with over 50 years of prior research. In addition, it contrasts divorcing people with a comparable sample of people who remain in intact marriages. The book opens with a discussion of today's changing attitudes about marriage and the resulting mixed view of divorce. A new model of divorce adjustment--one that integrates the pathology and crisis models of adjustment and includes elements of loss and change--is outlined. The four sources of study data used for the book are described, as are the ways in which such key elements as subjective distress, attachment, self-esteem, and illness contacts were measured. To address the issue of comparability of the married samples, background characteristics of the suburban, reconciled, and marital transition samples are examined. Also, "risk factors" that have been thought predispose those who divorce are explored. Having laid the groundwork, subsequent chapters cover the processes of the relationship estrangement that occurs within marriage, and various "causes" of divorce including legal definitions, psychological correlates, and marital complaints. The effect of divorce on physical and mental health and the implications of age and other life events on the ability to adjust are described. Parents' initial perceptions of the impact of divorce on their children are reported, as are changes in their perceptions over time. Other topics include economic factors, social support systems, and life after divorce. Finally, analyses are presented that illustrate what factors are associated with better and worse adjustment to divorce for blacks and whites, and men and women, both cross-sectionally and longitudinally. Adding immeasurably to our understanding about the causes and consequences of divorce, this volume will be valued by clinicians who work with the divorced, community psychologists, child and family development scholars, and and sociologists interested in family and health. Well written and clearly organized, it also serves as a classroom text for students in these fields.




The Life-Saving Divorce


Book Description

You Can Love God and Still Get a Divorce. And get this, God will still love you. Really. Are you in a destructive marriage? One of emotional, physical, or verbal abuse? Infidelity? Neglect? If yes, you know you need to escape, but you're probably worried about going against God's will. I have good news for you. You might need to divorce to save your life and sanity. And God is right beside you. In "The Life-Saving Divorce" You'll Learn: - How to know if you should stay or if you should go.- The four key Bible verses that support divorce for infidelity, neglect, and physical and/or emotional abuse. - Twenty-seven myths about divorce that aren't true for many Christians. - Why a divorce is likely the absolute best thing for your children. - How to deal with friends and family who disapprove of divorce. - How to find safe friends and churches after a divorce. Can you find happiness after leaving your destructive marriage? Absolutely yes! You can get your life back and flourish more than you thought possible. Are you ready? Then let's go. It's time to be free. This book includes multiple first-person interviews. Explains psychological abuse, gaslighting, the abuse cycle, Christian divorce and remarriage, children and divorce, domestic violence, parental alienation, mental abuse, and biblical reasons for divorce. Includes diagrams such as the Duluth Wheel of Power and Control (the Duluth Model) and the Abuse Cycle, as well as graphs based on Paul Amato's 2003 study analyzing Judith Wallerstein's book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. Includes quotes by Leslie Vernick, Lundy Bancroft, Shannon Thomas, David Instone-Brewer, Natalie Hoffman, LifeWay Research, Kathleen Reay, Gottman Institute, Glenda Riley, Martin Luther, John Calvin, Steven Stosny, Michal Gilad, Leonie Westenberg, Nancy Nason-Clark, Julie Owens, Marg Mowczko, Justin Holcomb, Barna Group, Justin Lehmiller, Alan Hawkins, Brian Willoughby, William Doherty, Brad Wright, Bradford Wilcox, Sheila Gregoire, E Mavis Hetherington, John Kelly, Betsey Stevenson, Justin Wolfers, Norm Wright, Virginia Rutter, Judith Herman, and Bessel van der Kolk. Recommended reading list includes: Henry Cloud, John Townsend Boundaries books, Richard Warshack books.




Portraits of a Marriage


Book Description

A rediscovered masterwork from the famed Hungarian novelist Sándor Márai, Portraits of a Marriage is in fact a startling exploration of a triangle of entanglement. A wealthy couple in bourgeois society, Peter and Ilonka appear to enjoy a fine union. Their home is tastefully decorated; their clothes are well tailored; they move in important circles. And yet, to hypersensitive Ilonka, her choice in décor is never good enough, and her looks are never fair enough to fully win the love of her husband, who has carried with him a secret that has long tormented him: Peter is in love with Judit, a peasant and servant in his childhood home. For Judit, however, even Peter’s affection cannot transcend that which she loves most—the prospect of her own freedom and a future without the constraints of the society that has ensnared all three in a vortex of love and loss. Set against the backdrop of Hungary between the wars, Portraits of a Marriage offers further “posthumous evidence of [Márai’s] neglected brilliance” (Chicago Tribune) and his exquisite, acutely observed evocations of sacrifice and longing.




Our Happy Divorce


Book Description

"From weeknight dinners and homework sessions with their son to Christmas card photos and vacations, Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond have created a tight-knit, enviable family. They work and play well together, from the smallest daily tasks to the biggest life eventsƒƒ‚ƒƒ‚‚‚ƒƒ‚‚ƒ‚‚"ƒƒ‚ƒƒ‚‚‚ƒƒ‚‚ƒ‚‚€ƒƒ‚ƒƒ‚‚‚ƒƒ‚‚ƒ‚‚"and it only took a divorce to get them there. Though their marriage has been over for nearly a decade, they still share a happy life with each other and their son Asher, along with their new amazing spouses and children. Ben and Nikki had hoped their wedding would start their happily ever afterƒƒ‚ƒƒ‚‚‚ƒƒ‚‚ƒ‚‚"ƒƒ‚ƒƒ‚‚‚ƒƒ‚‚ƒ‚‚€ƒƒ‚ƒƒ‚‚‚ƒƒ‚‚ƒ‚‚"but seven years, one child, and countless financial and familial entanglements later, their I do-s had turned into We can't-s. Armed with their fierce love for their son and a desire to give him the best, they realized they needed to find an alternative to the seemingly inevitable toxic divorce that loomed over their lives.




Divorce Busting


Book Description

A step-by-step approach to making your marriage loving again.




Primal Loss


Book Description

Seventy now-adult children of divorce give their candid and often heart-wrenching answers to eight questions (arranged in eight chapters, by question), including: What were the main effects of your parents' divorce on your life? What do you say to those who claim that "children are resilient" and "children are happy when their parents are happy"? What would you like to tell your parents then and now? What do you want adults in our culture to know about divorce? What role has your faith played in your healing? Their simple and poignant responses are difficult to read and yet not without hope. Most of the contributors--women and men, young and old, single and married--have never spoken of the pain and consequences of their parents' divorce until now. They have often never been asked, and they believe that no one really wants to know. Despite vastly different circumstances and details, the similarities in their testimonies are striking; as the reader will discover, the death of a child's family impacts the human heart in universal ways.




The Divorce


Book Description

The Divorce tells about a man who takes a vacation from Providence, R.I. in early December to avoid conflicts with his newly divorced wife and small daughter. He travels to Buenos Aires and there, one afternoon, he encounters a series of the most magical coincidences. While sitting at an outdoor café, absorbed in conversation with a talented video artist, a young man with a bicycle is thoroughly drenched by a downpour of water seemingly from rain caught the night before in the overhead awning. The video artist knows the cyclist, who knew a mad hermetic sculptor, whose family used to take the Hindu God Krishna for walks in the neighborhood. More meetings, more whimsical and clever stories continue to weave reality with the absurd until the final, brilliant, wonderful, cataclysmic ending.




Splitopia


Book Description

Packed with research, insights, and illuminating (and often funny) examples from Paris’s own divorce experience, this book is a “practical and reassuring guide to parting well.” —Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project Engaging and revolutionary, filled with wit, searing honesty, and intimate interviews, Splitopia is a call for a saner, more civil kind of divorce. As Paris reveals, divorce has improved dramatically in recent decades due to changes in laws and family structures, advances in psychology and child development, and a new understanding of the importance of the father. Positive psychology expert and author of Happier, Tal Ben-Shahar, writes that Paris’s “personal insights, stories, and research” create “a smart and interesting guide that can be extremely helpful for those going through divorce.” Reading this book can be the difference between an expensive, ugly battle and a decent divorce, between children sucked under by conflict or happy, healthy kids. This is “a compelling case that it’s high time for a new definition of Happily Ever After—for everyone” (Brigid Schulte, author of Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time).




Aftermath


Book Description

In 2003, Rachel Cusk published A Life's Work, a provocative and often startlingly funny memoir about the cataclysm of motherhood. Widely acclaimed, the book started hundreds of arguments that continue to this day. Now, in her most personal and relevant book to date, Cusk explores divorce's tremendous impact on the lives of women. An unflinching chronicle of Cusk's own recent separation and the upheaval that followed—"a jigsaw dismantled"—it is also a vivid study of divorce's complex place in our society. "Aftermath" originally signified a second harvest, and in this book, unlike any other written on the subject, Cusk discovers opportunity as well as pain. With candor as fearless as it is affecting, Rachel Cusk maps a transformative chapter of her life with an acuity and wit that will help us understand our own.




The Divorce


Book Description

Jenzy: I love my husband, but he doesn't see me anymore. We were college sweethearts and for seven years I've been his wife. Five of those years were bliss; the last two have been a long fall from grace. He's the love of my life, the sexy and smart man I saw my future with, but now I don't think he sees it too. I'm tired of not being seen, I'm tired of not being heard, and I'm tired of being in love alone. I was his optimistic hippie girl that he couldn't get enough of. Now I'm just his annoyance. So I told him, I finally found the backbone and this is our story.... Chris: My wife just told me she wants a divorce. What the hell do I say to that? I thought we were fine-, well fine is a bad word, I thought we were okay. Doesn't matter what I think because she's moving out and I can't really let this happen. Yeah, she annoys me, we're total opposites, but I knew that when I met her, she hasn't changed...maybe I have? I was her anchor, her safety, her home. Now I'm that guy that's wrecked her and there are plenty of men willing to repair the damage I did. So I have a plan. Find out what happened to change my affection for her within the last two years, and win her back before someone else does, because I still love her, and she still loves me....I guess....