Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls


Book Description

Complete with romance, action, comedy, and an army of shambling corpses, this prequel to the hit mash-up novel will have Jane Austen rolling in her grave—or crawling out of it! Four years before the events of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, the Bennet sisters are enjoying a peaceful life in the English countryside, reading, gardening, and daydreaming about future husbands—until a funeral at the local parish goes strangely and horribly awry. Suddenly, corpses are springing from the soft earth—and only one family can stop them. As the bodies pile up, Elizabeth Bennet grows from a naive young teenager into a savage slayer of the undead. Along the way, two men vie for her affections: Master Hawksworth is the powerful warrior who trains her to kill, while thoughtful Dr. Keckilpenny seeks to conquer the walking dead using science instead of strength. Will either man win the prize of Elizabeth’s heart? Or will their hearts be feasted upon by hordes of marauding zombies?




Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Deluxe Heirloom Edition


Book Description

The deluxe heirloom edition of the "New York Times" bestseller boasts additional scenes of zombie mayhem, 13 new full-color illustrations, and an essay Afterword by Dr. Allen Grove, Professor of English Literature.




Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters


Book Description

New York Times bestseller An uproarious tale of romance, heartbreak, and tentacled mayhem inspired by the classic Jane Austen novel—from the publisher of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters expands the original text of the beloved Jane Austen novel with all-new scenes of giant lobsters, rampaging octopi, two-headed sea serpents, and other biological monstrosities. As our story opens, the Dashwood sisters are evicted from their childhood home and sent to live on a mysterious island full of savage creatures and dark secrets. While sensible Elinor falls in love with Edward Ferrars, her romantic sister Marianne is courted by both the handsome Willoughby and the hideous man-monster Colonel Brandon. Can the Dashwood sisters triumph over meddlesome matriarchs and unscrupulous rogues to find true love? Or will they fall prey to the tentacles that are forever snapping at their heels? This masterful portrait of Regency England blends Jane Austen’s biting social commentary with ultraviolent depictions of sea monsters biting. It’s survival of the fittest—and only the swiftest swimmers will find true love!




Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter


Book Description

Indiana. Moonlight falls through the dense woods that surround a one-room cabin, where a nine-year-old Abraham Lincoln kneels at his suffering mother's bedside. She's been stricken with something the old-timers call "Milk Sickness." "My baby boy..." she whispers before dying. Only later will the grieving Abe learn that his mother's fatal affliction was actually the work of a vampire. When the truth becomes known to young Lincoln, he writes in his journal, "henceforth my life shall be one of rigorous study and devotion. I shall become a master of mind and body. And this mastery shall have but one purpose..." Gifted with his legendary height, strength, and skill with an ax, Abe sets out on a path of vengeance that will lead him all the way to the White House. While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving a and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. That is, until Seth Grahame-Smith stumbled upon The Secret Journal of Abraham Lincoln, and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years. Using the journal as his guide and writing in the grand biographical style of Doris Kearns Goodwin and David McCullough, Seth has reconstructed the true life story of our greatest president for the first time-all while revealing the hidden history behind the Civil War and uncovering the role vampires played in the birth, growth, and near-death of our nation.




The Jane Austen Handbook


Book Description

Bridgerton fans and Jane Austen neophytes will be bewitched, body and soul, by this fun, informative guide to the nuances of life in Regency England Every young lady dreams of a life spent exchanging witty asides with a dashing Mr. Darcy, but how should you let him know your intentions? Seek counsel from this charming guide to Jane Austen’s world. Its step-by-step instructions reveal the practicalities of life in Regency England, including sensible advice on: • How to behave at your first ball • How to ride sidesaddle • How to decline an unwanted marriage proposal • How to improve your estate • How to throw a dinner party —and much more. Offering readers a glimpse into day-to-day life in Jane Austen’s time, The Jane Austen Handbook is the perfect companion for fans of her novels and their film adaptations, complete with detailed information on love among the social classes, currency, dress, and nuances of graceful living.




Android Karenina


Book Description

Leo Tolstoy meets robots in this “creepy, thrilling, and highly enjoyable” sci-fi mashup of the classic Russian novel Anna Karenina (Library Journal). “ . . . lives up to its promise to make Tolstoy ‘awesomer.’”—The Onion AV Club It’s been called the greatest novel ever written. Now, Tolstoy’s timeless saga of love and betrayal is transported to an awesomer version of 19th-century Russia. It is a world humming with high-powered groznium engines: where debutantes dance the 3D waltz in midair, mechanical wolves charge into battle alongside brave young soldiers, and robots—miraculous, beloved robots!—are the faithful companions of everyone who’s anyone. Restless to forge her own destiny in this fantastic modern life, the bold noblewoman Anna and her enigmatic Android Karenina abandon a loveless marriage to seize passion with the daring, handsome Count Vronsky. But when their scandalous affair gets mixed up with dangerous futuristic villainy, the ensuing chaos threatens to rip apart their lives, their families, and—just maybe—all of planet Earth.




The Secret Diary of Mario Balotelli


Book Description

'He's a total rock 'n' roller. There's a bit of Mario in all of us - well, maybe not Gary Neville - but the rest of us most definitely.' Noel Gallagher He may be football's latest superstar, but Mario Balotelli is just as famous off the pitch for his eccentricity and extraordinary antics. From the time he let off fireworks in his bathroom to the notorious bib incident, he's rarely out of the news. But in his secret diary*, as we follow Mario through one turbulent football season and the trail of mayhem he leaves in his wake, we discover that the headlines only tell half the story. Whether he's hiding Silvio Berlusconi in his basement, patrolling the streets of Manchester as a caped crusader or trying to be the first Premiership footballer to go to the moon, the truth is stranger, and much funnier, than we could have expected. *not the actual diary of Mario Balotelli




Pride and Prejudice


Book Description

*New gorgeous case laminate hardcover* This Deluxe Edition, beautifully designed to be collected and given as a gift to your loved ones, includes: - the unabridged manuscript (introduction and list of characters included) - 2 historical reviews (from 1813) - 45 timeless love lessons that will take root in your heart and grow there for a lifetime; - a selection of charming black and white line drawings by C. E. Brock (from 1895 Macmillan Edition of Pride&Prejudice) "In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." - Mr. Darcy Uncover one of the most beloved stories of all time. Celebrated as one of the most famous and influential books of all time, "Pride and Prejudice" stands as a literary masterpiece that has touched millions' hearts. This touching tale uses a delightful sense of humor and an honest look at the customs and rules of the 19th-century upper-class society to grapple with essential questions about marriage, economic inequality, reputation, and above all... true love.




How to Survive a Horror Movie


Book Description

The screenwriter and producer behind Stephen King’s It shares a hilarious, tongue-in-cheek survival guide that celebrates iconic horror movies both past and present! THE PERFECT GIFT FOR HORROR MOVIE LOVERS: Features spooky illustrations, a list of 100 must-see horror films, and an introduction by Nightmare on Elm Street’s Wes Craven. Are you reading this in a cornfield, at a summer camp, or in an abandoned mental institution? Have you noticed that everything is poorly lit, or that music surges every time you open a door? If the answer is yes, you’re probably trapped in a horror movie. But don’t freak out—just read this book! With it you will learn how to overcome every obstacle found in scary films, including: • How to determine what type of horror film you’re trapped in • The five types of slashers and how to defeat them • How to handle killer dolls, murderous automobiles, and other haunted objects • How to deal with alien invasions, zombie apocalypses, and other global threats • What to do if you did something last summer, if your corn has children in it, or if you suspect you’re already dead So don't be afraid: no vampire, zombie horde, cannibal hillbilly, Japanese vengeance ghost, or other horror movie monster can hurt you—as long as you have this book.