The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work


Book Description

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.




The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work


Book Description

Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages. This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage. Maintain a love map. Foster fondness and admiration. Turn toward instead of away. Accept influence. Solve solvable conflicts. Cope with conflicts you can't resolve. Create shared meaning. Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.




Eight Dates


Book Description

Whether you’re newly together and eager to make it work or a longtime couple looking to strengthen and deepen your bond, Eight Dates offers a program of how, why, and when to have eight basic conversations with your partner that can result in a lifetime of love. “Happily ever after” is not by chance, it’s by choice– the choice each person in a relationship makes to remain open, remain curious, and, most of all, to keep talking to one another. From award-winning marriage researcher and bestselling author Dr. John Gottman and fellow researcher Julie Gottman, Eight Dates offers an ingenious and simple-to-implement approach to effective relationship communication. Here are the subjects that every serious couple should discuss: Trust. Family. Sex and intimacy. Dealing with conflict. Work and money. Dreams, and more. And here is how to talk about them—how to broach subjects that are difficult or embarrassing, how to be brave enough to say what you really feel. There are also suggestions for where and when to go on each date—book your favorite romantic restaurant for the Sex & Intimacy conversation (and maybe go to a yoga or dance class beforehand). There are questionnaires, innovative exercises, real-life case studies, and skills to master, including the Four Skills of Intimate Conversation and the Art of Listening. Because making love last is not about having a certain feeling—it’s about both of you being active and involved.




Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage


Book Description

In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, marital psychologists John and Julie Gottman provide vital tools—scientifically based and empirically verified—that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication. In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict—with more than 90 percent accuracy—whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice. What emerged from the Gottmans’ collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that’s based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems—extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy—and examine what they’ve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track. Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans’ work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that’s headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading.




8 Keys to a Successful Marriage


Book Description

Keys are tools to open up things that are locked. They are either locked up, locked away, or locked to keep you out. Do you know that the devil wants the answers to a successful marriage to be locked up, locked away, and most definitely he wants you locked out from those successes? But God has provided the keys. Now these are not the only keys, but they will help you get started to unlock the doors and padlocks that have kept you from enjoying the fullness and happiness of your marriage that God has intended for you.




The Mathematics of Marriage


Book Description

Divorce rates are at an all-time high. But without a theoretical understanding of the processes related to marital stability and dissolution, it is difficult to design and evaluate new marriage interventions. The Mathematics of Marriage provides the foundation for a scientific theory of marital relations. The book does not rely on metaphors, but develops and applies a mathematical model using difference equations. The work is the fulfillment of the goal to build a mathematical framework for the general system theory of families first suggested by Ludwig Von Bertalanffy in the 1960s.The book also presents a complete introduction to the mathematics involved in theory building and testing, and details the development of experiments and models. In one "marriage experiment," for example, the authors explored the effects of lowering or raising a couple's heart rates. Armed with their mathematical model, they were able to do real experiments to determine which processes were affected by their interventions. Applying ideas such as phase space, null clines, influence functions, inertia, and uninfluenced and influenced stable steady states (attractors), the authors show how other researchers can use the methods to weigh their own data with positive and negative weights. While the focus is on modeling marriage, the techniques can be applied to other types of psychological phenomena as well.




10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology)


Book Description

From the country’s leading couple therapist duo, a practical guide to what makes it all work. In 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy, two of the world’s leading couple researchers and therapists give readers an inside tour of what goes on inside the consulting rooms of their practice. They have been doing couples work for decades and still find it challenging and full of learning experiences. This book distills the knowledge they've gained over their years of practice into ten principles at the core of good couples work. Each principle is illustrated with a clinically compiled case plus personal side-notes and storytelling. Topics addressed include: • You know that you need to “treat the relationship,” but how are you supposed to get at something as elusive as “a relationship”? • How do you empathize with both clients if they have opposite points of view? Later on, if they end up separating does that mean you’ve failed? Are you only successful if you keep couples together? • Compared to an individual client, a relationship is an entirely different animal. What should you do first? What should you look for? What questions should you ask? If clients give different answers, who should you believe? • What are you supposed to do with all the emotional and personal history that your clients stir up in you? • How can you make your work research-based? No one who works with couples will want to be without the insight, guidance, and strategies offered in this book.




Purpose and Power of Love and Marriage


Book Description

Probably no other dimension of human experience has been pondered, discussed, debated, analyzed, and dreamed about more than the nature of true love. Love is everywhere -- in songs and in books, on televisions and on movie screens. Yet, for all of our thinking and talking, how many of us truly understand love and where can we turn for genuine insight in matters of true love?




The Language of Love and Respect


Book Description

Why does communication between couples remain the number one marriage issue? Because most spouses don't know that they speak two different languages. Communication expert Dr. Emerson Eggerich says that the problem is couples are sending each other messages in 'code,' but they won't crack that code until they see that she listens to hear the language of love and he listens to hear the language of respect. Dr. Eggerichs' best-selling book, Love and Respect, launched a revolution in how couples relate to each other. In The Language of Love and Respect, you will discover: The basic communication differences between men and women A biblical perspective with easy-to-use tips and advice A quick review and summary for each chapter This book offers a practical, step-by-step approach for how husbands and wives can learn to speak each other’s distinctly different language -- respect for him, love for her. The result is mutual understanding and a successful, happy marriage. Previously released as Cracking the Communication Code.




Formula for a Successful Marriage


Book Description

"Formula for a Successful Marriage" is a blueprint to build a solid foundation for your marriage. Discussed are essential elements needed to achieve a harmonious marriage. The formula was conceived by the Holy Spirit and given to Pastor DesireE Andrews to pass on to those seeking to improve or maintain a God-filled, God-ordained, successful marriage. In this book, you will discover the essential ingredients to accomplish just that. The formula, C4H2L, is comprised of four parts C--commitment, communication, companionship, and copulation; two parts H--honesty and hugs; and one part L--love, all of which are necessary for a fruitful marriage. God ordained marriage and intended for it to be a blessed union between one man and one woman. Society today has all but outlawed what constitutes a successful marriage from God's perspective. The implementation of this formula builds back that which was lost. With two things being a given in marriage, God and prayer, the C4H2L formula acts to bind the husband and wife together in marriage. Many marriages fail because one thing or another is neglected and goes lacking for extended periods of time. Society says it's okay to give up on your marriage and go be with someone else, but the Word tells us what God has joined together let no man put asunder. The formula, therefore, aids in keeping things in balance to ensure nothing is overlooked, nothing is neglected, nothing is lacking. It is not a cure-all solution but are the building blocks needed for a successful marriage. If we hold to the biblical principles established from the beginning of time we do well in maintaining and improving the marital relationship. If we do it God's way, we will succeed. This book will help identify that which was from the beginning and guide the reader to a meaningful, healthy, and successful marriage.