Snarky in the Suburbs Trouble in Texas


Book Description

Wynn Butler is ready to kill her mother . . . or at the very least demand she gets a psych evaluation and an MRI. On Wynn's yearly pilgrimage to Trask, Texas, to visit her parents what she hoped would be a relaxing visit (not counting the family reunion which has all the charm of a zombie apocalypse) has turned into a Texas-sized, hot mess! Her 69-year-old mother Gwynn Crockett Martin has become an entrepreneur and opened up a cupcake bakery that seems to be doing double duty as a halfway house for economically battered Junior League dropouts. If that's not enough to make Wynn want to turn tail and run home, her mom is hell bent on convincing her to "heed the call of Jesus" and come to the aid of a woman that made Wynn miserable in high school - Sara Beth Bishop. And by aid, Wynn's mother means concoct a plan to exact epic revenge on Sara Beth's lying, cheating, spray tanning, money stealing ex-husband and his new wife, snob-of-the-millennium, Yale Greenly. Things go from bad to worse when Wynn finds herself embroiled in a scheme that involves breaking and entering, theft, assault, livestock wrangling, killer mold, impersonating a maid, hair spray bomb fabrication and crashing the town's poshest society event of the year - THE Mohair Palace Pageant. If Wynn can survive this visit home without doing time in the ER, jail, or both, it will be a miracle! Hang on to your hat and saddle up for a retribution rodeo or, as Wynn's mom calls it . . . "justice served up Lone Star style."




Snarky in the Suburbs


Book Description

The Spring Creek Elementary School PTA Board, a coven of Mean Moms dressed in Uggs, yoga pants, and dermal filler, is up to no good, and Wynn Butler (middle-aged, uncool and not bringing sexy back) is determined to find out what's going on. With help from her two kids, a Roomba vacuum turned mobile surveillance drone, and a few close friends, Wynn launches a covert investigation that leads to the mother of all revenge capers at the school's annual Fall Festival. If you've ever fantasized about smoke bombing the idiot parent who has yet to master the fine art of the school drop-off lane or standing up and shouting "Liar, liar Botox on fire!" during a PTA meeting, then this delicious tale of payback is for you. Based on the popular blog, Snarky in the Suburbs, that was recently optioned by ABC for film and television rights.




Tinsel


Book Description

A heartfelt, hilarious look at the evolution of a half-trillion-dollar American holiday Hank Stuever turns his unerring eye for the idiosyncrasies of modern life to Frisco, Texas, a suburb at once all-American and completely itself, to tell the story of the nation’s most over-the-top celebration: Christmas. Stuever starts the narrative as so many start the Christmas season: standing in line with the people waiting to purchase flat-screen TVs on Black Friday. From there he follows three of Frisco's true holiday believers as they navigate through the Nativity and all its attendant crises. Tammie Parnell, an eternally optimistic suburban mom, is the proprietor of "Two Elves with a Twist," a company that decorates other people's big houses for Christmas. Jeff and Bridgette Trykoski own that house every town has: the one with the visible-from-space, jaw-dropping Christmas lights. And single mother Carol Cavazos just hopes that the life-affirming moments of Christmas might overcome the struggles of the rest of the year. Stuever's portraits of the happy, mega-churchy, shop-until-you-drop community in Tinsel are revealing and riotously funny, showing how our ancient rituals of celebration have survived—and succumbed to—the test of time.




Judgmental Maps


Book Description

A sharp tongued and fierce witted full-color collection of maps of America’s greatest cities in all their brutally honest glory. Your City. Judged. When you move to a new city you look at a map to get you where you need to be, but a Google Map of San Francisco won’t tell you where you can get “Real Dim Sum” or where “The Worst Trader Joes Ever” is. Or if you’re visiting Chicago, you might want to see the Magnificent Mile, but not know it’s right next to where “Suburbanites Buy Drugs” and “Retired Mafioso.” This is where Judgmental Maps comes in – a no holds barred look at city life that is at once a love letter and hate mail from the very people who live there. What started as a joke between comedian Trent Gillaspie and his friends in Denver, quickly grew into a viral sensation with a rabid and enthusiastic community labeling maps of their cities with names and descriptions we all think of, but are a bit too shy to say out loud. Collected here in a full color, beautifully packaged book with all new, never before published material, Judgmental Maps is laugh out loud funny from New York to Los Angeles, Minneapolis to Atlanta and offending everyone else in between.




Lone Star America


Book Description

Throughout America and around the world, the United States has been known as a beacon of hope and opportunity, the land of the free and the home of the brave. Sadly, from the crumbling urban ghetto of Detroit to the cash-strapped shores of California to the rust belt of the Midwest, America is not living up to that promise. Except in Texas. While unemployment soars elsewhere, Texans are hard at work. While small businesses across the country are going under, Texas entrepreneurs are thriving. While large companies are being squeezed by taxes, regulations and unions, more and more corporations are moving to Texas to grow and expand. While people of faith are ridiculed and marginalized in most cities on both coasts, in Texas churches and synagogues are bursting at the seams. How did Texas embrace what the rest of America seems to have forgotten? In Lonestar America, popular talk radio show host Mark Davis presents a powerful case for economic prosperity, individual freedom, strong families, and even stronger pride of place – alive and kicking in Texas, and easily exportable to the rest of America. Davis shows how Texas has done it, how some “honorary Texans” in other states (governors and even local communities) have adopted some of the same policies and approaches, and how states across the country can reclaim the promise of the American dream.




Suburban Dictionary


Book Description

Know what a Tes-hole is? A Tesla owner who thinks he or she is the sh*t, and let's you know. Called “fun,” and “useful,” Suburban Dictionary is a guide to slang, and a guide to the quirky characters sighted in the ‘burbs. Suburbanese: The Subtle, The Funny, and The Snarky, with generous helpings of sarcasm. Over 130 pages of fun and (sometimes) snarky expressions to use at home, at work, and beyond. A guide to the “slang of the Rich” and beyond for old hands, newbies, and those learning English.




Black Klansman


Book Description

The #1 New York Times Bestseller! The extraordinary true story and basis for the Academy Award winning film BlacKkKlansman, written and directed by Spike Lee, produced by Jordan Peele, and starring John David Washington and Adam Driver. When detective Ron Stallworth, the first black detective in the history of the Colorado Springs Police Department, comes across a classified ad in the local paper asking for all those interested in joining the Ku Klux Klan to contact a P.O. box, Detective Stallworth does his job and responds with interest, using his real name while posing as a white man. He figures he’ll receive a few brochures in the mail, maybe even a magazine, and learn more about a growing terrorist threat in his community. A few weeks later the office phone rings, and the caller asks Ron a question he thought he’d never have to answer, “Would you like to join our cause?” This is 1978, and the KKK is on the rise in the United States. Its Grand Wizard, David Duke, has made a name for himself, appearing on talk shows, and major magazine interviews preaching a “kinder” Klan that wants nothing more than to preserve a heritage, and to restore a nation to its former glory. Ron answers the caller’s question that night with a yes, launching what is surely one of the most audacious, and incredible undercover investigations in history. Ron recruits his partner Chuck to play the "white" Ron Stallworth, while Stallworth himself conducts all subsequent phone conversations. During the months-long investigation, Stallworth sabotages cross burnings, exposes white supremacists in the military, and even befriends David Duke himself. Black Klansman is an amazing true story that reads like a crime thriller, and a searing portrait of a divided America and the extraordinary heroes who dare to fight back.




Death on Tour


Book Description

After a member of an Egyptian tour group is found dead, Texas high school teacher and fellow traveler Jocelyn Shore learns that no one is what they seem.




The Adults


Book Description

From the author of the Read with Jenna Today show book club pick The Wedding People, a ruefully funny and wickedly perceptive debut novel that deftly dissects matters of the heart and captures the lives of children and adults as they come to terms with life, death, and love. At the center of this affluent suburban universe is Emily Vidal, a smart and snarky teenager, who gets involved in a dangerous relationship. Among the cast of unforgettable characters is Emily’s father, whose fiftieth birthday party has the adults descending upon the Vidals' patio; her mother, who has orchestrated the elaborate party even though she and her husband are getting a divorce; and an assortment of eccentric neighbors, high school teachers, and teenagers who teem with anxiety and sexuality and an unbridled desire to be noticed, and ultimately loved. An irresistible chronicle of a modern young woman’s struggle to grow up, The Adults lays bare—in perfect pitch—a world where an adult and a child can so dangerously be mistaken for the same exact thing.




The City Born Great


Book Description

In this standalone short story by N. K. Jemisin, author of The Fifth Season, winner of the Hugo Award for Best Novel, New York City is about to go through a few changes. Like all great metropolises before it, when a city gets big enough, old enough, it must be born; but there are ancient enemies who cannot tolerate new life. Thus New York will live or die by the efforts of a reluctant midwife...and how well he can learn to sing the city's mighty song. The City Born Great is a Tor.com Original. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.