Sure, I'll Join Your Cult


Book Description

"From "weird, scary, ingenious" (The New York Times) stand-up comedian Maria Bamford, a brutally honest and hilariously frenetic memoir about show business, mental health, and the comfort of rigid belief systems-from Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People, to Suzuki violin training, to Richard Simmons, to 12-step programs. Maria Bamford is a comedian's comedian (an outsider among outsiders) and has forever fought to find a place to belong. From struggling with an eating disorder as a child of the 1980s, to navigating a career in the arts (and medical debt and psychiatric institutionalization), she has tried just about every method possible to not only be a part of the world, but to want to be a part of it. In Bamford's signature voice, Sure, I'll Join Your Cult, brings us on a quest to participate in something. With sincerity and transparency, she recounts every anonymous fellowship she has joined (including but not limited to: Debtors Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and Overeaters Anonymous), every hypomanic episode (from worrying about selling out under capitalism to enforcing union rules on her Netflix TV show set to protect her health), and every easy 1-to-3-step recipe for fudge in between. Singular and inimitable, Bamford's memoir explores what it means to keep going, and to be a member of society (or any group she's invited to) despite not being very good at it. In turn, she hopes to transform isolating experiences into comedy that will make you feel less alone (without turning into a cult following)"--




Sure, I'll Join Your Cult


Book Description

From “weird, scary, ingenious” (The New York Times) stand-up comedian Maria Bamford, an instant New York Times bestselling, brutally honest, and “laugh-out-loud funny” (Jennette McCurdy, #1 New York Times bestselling author) memoir about show business, mental health, and the comfort of rigid belief systems—from Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, to Richard Simmons, to 12-step programs. Maria Bamford is a comedian’s comedian (an outsider among outsiders) and has forever fought to find a place to belong. From struggling with an eating disorder as a child of the 1980s, to navigating a career in the arts (and medical debt and psychiatric institutionalization), she has tried just about every method possible to not only be a part of the world, but to want to be a part of it. In Bamford’s “trademark blend of disarming intimacy and dark whimsy” (Publishers Weekly), Sure, I’ll Join Your Cultbrings us on a quest to participate in something. With sincerity and transparency, she recounts every anonymous fellowship she has joined (including but not limited to: Debtors Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and Overeaters Anonymous), every hypomanic episode (from worrying about selling out under capitalism to enforcing union rules on her Netflix TV show set to protect her health), and every easy 1-to-3-step recipe for fudge in between. Packed with “Bamford’s brilliance, relentless humor, and insatiable instinct for survival (Library Journal), this memoir explores what it means to keep going, and to be a member of society (or any group she’s invited to) despite not being very good at it. In turn, she hopes to transform isolating experiences into comedy that will make you feel less alone (without turning into a cult following).




Eating Salad Drunk


Book Description

“I’m huge on Twitter.” —An ancient proverb that means Lonely in real life. —JOEL KIM BOOSTER *Vulture's Best Comedy Books of 2022* Jokes and haikus have a common goal: to pack the greatest punch in the most succinct way possible. In Eating Salad Drunk, today's biggest names in comedy come together to do just that, with hilarious, poignant, and (sometimes) dirty haikus about living and coping in our modern "burnout age." Contributors include Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Ian Black, Aubrey Plaza, Margaret Cho, Maria Bamford, Ray Romano, Aparna Nancherla, Ziwe Fumudoh, Chris Gethard, Sasheer Zamata, Colin Mochrie, Zach Woods, and many more! Curated by Gabe Henry, author and manager of the popular Brooklyn comedy venue Littlefield, Eating Salad Drunk's topics include: -Modern Romance -Friends & Family -Screentime -Nature Calls -Food -Entertainment -The Struggle is Real -Words of Wisdom, and -Self Love & Loathing The book also includes 50 super-relatable black and white drawings by New Yorker cartoonist Emily Flake, as well as a foreword by stand-up comedian and actor Aparna Nancherla (Crashing, BoJack Horseman, Inside Amy Schumer). Eating Salad Drunk is the perfect gift for any fan of humor as an escape from our dystopian present. *All author proceeds go towards Comedy Gives Back, a nonprofit that provides mental health, medical, and crisis support resources for comedians. "A hilarious read." —Rachel Bloom, co-creator and star of the award-winning TV series Crazy Ex-Girlfriend







I'm Just a Person


Book Description

Star of HBO Max's "Tig Notaro: Drawn," "Army of the Dead," "One Mississippi" and "Instant Family." As well as the host of the podcasts "Don't Ask Tig" and "Tig and Cheryl: True Story" with Cheryl Hines. One of America’s most original comedic voices delivers a darkly funny, wryly observed, and emotionally raw account of her year of death, cancer, and epiphany. In the span of four months in 2012, Tig Notaro was hospitalized for a debilitating intestinal disease called C. diff, her mother unexpectedly died, she went through a breakup, and then she was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer. Hit with this devastating barrage, Tig took her grief onstage. Days after receiving her cancer diagnosis, she broke new comedic ground, opening an unvarnished set with the words: “Good evening. Hello. I have cancer. How are you? Hi, how are you? Is everybody having a good time? I have cancer.” The set went viral instantly and was ultimately released as Tig’s sophomore album, Live, which sold one hundred thousand units in just six weeks and was later nominated for a Grammy. Now, the wildly popular star takes stock of that no good, very bad year—a difficult yet astonishing period in which tragedy turned into absurdity and despair transformed into joy. An inspired combination of the deadpan silliness of her comedy and the open-hearted vulnerability that has emerged in the wake of that dire time, I’m Just a Person is a moving and often hilarious look at this very brave, very funny woman’s journey into the darkness and her thrilling return from it.




Join My Cult!


Book Description

Religions. Philosophies. Advertising campaigns. Gurus. Prozac. All of these drugs are sold as answers to our deepest questions: Why are we here? What truly has meaning? For a group of young adults desperately searching for meaning in the bleak McMansion sprawls of Suburban America, these questions are of the essence. When none of the accepted avenues of thought or behaviour make sense any longer, they wander into an unknown territory of magick, drug use, and shamanic exploration. Through satire and drama, "Join My Cult" takes you on an inward initiatory journey and a deeply hypnotic experience.




Trust Me, I'm Dr. Ozzy


Book Description

Wondering if science could explain how he survived his 40-year avalanche of drugs and alcohol, Ozzy Osbourne became one of a handful of people in the world to have his entire DNA mapped in 2010. It was a highly complex, $65,000 process, but the results were conclusive: Ozzy is a genetic anomaly. The "Full Ozzy Genome" contained variants that scientists had never before encountered and the findings were presented at the prestigious TEDMED Conference in San Diego-making headlines around the world. The procedure was in part sponsored by The Sunday Times of London, which had already caused an international fururoe by appointing Ozzy Osbourne its star health advice columnist. The newpaper argued that Ozzy's mutliple near-death experiences, 40-year history of drug abuse, and extreme hypocondria qualified him more than any other for the job. The column was an overnight hit, being quickly picked up by Rolling Stone to give it a global audience of millions. In Trust Me, I'm Dr. Ozzy, Ozzy answers reader's questions with his outrageous wit and surprising wisdom, digging deep into his past to tell the memoir-style survival stories never published before-and offer guidance that no sane human being should follow. Part humor, part memoir, and part bad advice, Trust Me, I'm Dr. Ozzy will include some of the best material from his published columns, answers to celebrities' medical questions, charts, sidebars, and more.




Simple Times


Book Description

The New York Times bestselling craft guide that inspired the hit new TV show, At Home With Amy Sedaris It's often been said that ugly people craft and attractive people have sex. In Simple Times, Amy Sedaris sets the record straight and delivers a book that will forever change the world of crafting. Demonstrating that crafting is one of life's more pleasurable and constructive leisure activities, Sedaris shows that anyone with a couple of hours to kill and access to pipe cleaners can join the elite society of crafters. You will discover how to make popular crafts such as Pompom Ringworms and Seashell Toilet Seat Covers, all while avoiding the most common crafting accidents (sawdust fires, feather asphyxia, pine cone lodged in throat). You will cook your own edible crafts, from a Crafty Candle Salad to Sugar Skulls, with many more recipes and craft ideas that will inspire you to create your very own hastily constructed obscure d'arts. Praise for Simple Times "Amy Sedaris is a kookier, kitschier version of Martha Stewart...Simple Times is an ideal gift for the crafter who has crafted everything." - Associated Press "A wildly cheeky guide." -- InStyle "For anyone who's ever collected hats crocheted together...or simply for fans of Amy Sedaris and her idiosyncratic sense of humor." -- New York Times Book Review




With All Due Respect


Book Description

The New York Times and USA Today bestseller A revealing, dramatic, deeply personal book about the most significant events of our time, written by the former United States Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley is widely admired for her forthright manner (“With all due respect, I don’t get confused”), her sensitive approach to tragic events, and her confident representation of America’s interests as our Ambassador to the United Nations during times of crisis and consequence. In this book, Haley offers a first-hand perspective on major national and international matters, as well as a behind-the-scenes account of her tenure in the Trump administration. This book reveals a woman who can hold her own—and better—in domestic and international power politics, a diplomat who is unafraid to take a principled stand even when it is unpopular, and a leader who seeks to bring Americans together in divisive times.




Care To Make Love In That Gross Little Space Between Cars?


Book Description

The Believer magazine presents a compendium of advice from producers, writers, and actors of The Daily Show, Saturday Night Live, Parks and Recreation, Late Show with David Letterman, The Hangover, and The Colbert Report, along with other musicians, cartoonists, New Yorker writers, and those similarly unqualified to offer guidance. Here Amy Sedaris describes the perfect murder for unwanted hermit crabs—you will need a piece of meat and a brick. Simon Rich explains how to avoid being found dead in your underwear by firemen—buy some long johns. Zach Galifianakis provides insight into how he changed his name without a social security card—he just started calling himself Adam Zapple, and it stuck. Bob Saget finally illuminates what “friends with benefits” really means—a nonsexual relationship wherein your ex makes monetary deposits into your bank account. Contributors include: Rob Baedeker, Anne Beatts, Elizabeth Beckwith, Jerri Blank, Roz Chast, Louis C.K., Mike Doughty, Dave Eggers, Rich Fulcher, Zach Galifianakis, Dan Guterman, Anthony Jeselnik, Julie Klausner, Lisa Lampanelli, Nick Hornby, Sam Lipsyte, Liam Lynch, Merrill Markoe, Rose McGowan, Misc. Canadian rock musicians, Laraine Newman, The Pleasure Syndicate, Bob Powers, Simon Rich, Bob Saget, George Saunders, Kristen Schaal, Paul Scheer, Amy Sedaris, Allison Silverman, Paul Simms, Brendon Small, Jerry Stahl, Scott Thompson, Fred Willard, Cintra Wilson, Weird Al Yankovic, and Alan Zweibel