Swoon at Your Own Risk


Book Description

Polly Martin's grandmother is the famous syndicated advice columnist Miss Swoon. But after a junior year full of dating disasters, Polly swears off boys. This summer, she's going to focus on herself. Soon, however, Polly is forced to face her feelings.




Swoon at Your Own Risk


Book Description

You’d think Polly Martin would have all the answers when it comes to love—after all, her grandmother is the famous syndicated advice columnist Miss Swoon. But after a junior year full of dating disasters, Polly has sworn off boys. This summer, she’s going to focus on herself for once. So Polly is happy when she finds out Grandma is moving in—think of all the great advice she’ll get. But Miss Swoon turns out to be a man-crazy sexagenarian! How can Polly stop herself from falling for Xander Cooper, the suddenly-hot skateboarder who keeps showing up while she’s working at Wild Waves water park, when Grandma is picking up guys at the bookstore and flirting with the dishwasher repairman? No advice column can prepare Polly for what happens when she goes on a group camping trip with three too many ex-boyfriends and the tempting Xander. Polly is forced to face her feelings and figure out if she can be in love—and still be herself.




Bushworld: Enter at Your Own Risk


Book Description

The New York Times Bestseller by the Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist! “I think what’s important for you to know is that I feel I know what to do. I really do. I may not be able to tell you exactly the nuance of the East Timorian situation, but I’ll ask Condi Rice or I’ll ask Paul Wolfowitz or I’ll ask Dick Cheney. I’ll ask the people who’ve had experience.”—George W. Bush, June 13, 1999 For the past two decades, Maureen Dowd has trained her binoculars—and her scorching wit—on the Bush dynasty. Here, she explores and dissects the entire story, in all its Oedipal, Orwellian, Shakespearean glory. Drawing from her New York Times column, with a new introductory essay, she journeys to Maine, Texas, Washington, old Europe, new Europe, and Saudi Arabia, chronicling both father and son as well as the cast of characters surrounding them. For any reader who cares about America, it’s essential reading. As Dowd says about Bushworld: “It’s their reality. We only live and die in it.” “Scathingly funny…Others cover the same waterfront, but Dowd’s keen dramatization of complex situations, uncannily biting caricatures and merciless re-spinning of spin set her far apart from the pack.”—Publishers Weekly (starred review)




Life Wants You Dead


Book Description

"Life wants you dead, and this book wants to be READ! Ha ha I love being a comedian.” —Patton Oswalt "Truly hilarious!" —Jack Handey, author of Deep Thoughts Fear!!! Scary, right? But what if the only thing we shouldn't fear is fear itself? In this era of economic turmoil, climate catastrophe, and cliques of cool teens just waiting to make fun of your shoes, we live in a heightened state of fear. We're afraid of the world and afraid of each other—but not nearly as afraid as we should be! And this absurdly hilarious survival guide demonstrates that being afraid of literally everything is the only guaranteed way to stay safe. Packed with lifesaving/fear-fanning illustrations, sidebars, jump scares, chilling one-liners, and more, these pages will keep readers safe from the scourges of love, technology, birds, education, jackalopes, their own bodies, their homes, and the world outside their own bodies and homes. Includes a bonus foldout Fear Map lurking in the inside back cover. A BOOK TO KEEP YOU SAFE IN THESE ANXIOUS TIMES: Anxious and fearful about the state of the world? Friend, you are not frightened enough! Never mind the asteroid hurtling toward Earth. That bird over there? It's just waiting for the chance to swoop down and peck at your eyes. Your shoelaces? Trying to strangle your feet. From the stop signs obviously attempting to dead-end your life to that creep in the mirror who looks exactly like you, danger is everywhere. And your best survival strategy is to be afraid of everything at all times. SEVEN SCARY CHAPTERS TO KEEP YOU COMPREHENSIVELY APPREHENSIVE: Your Body: It Isn’t a F*cking Wonderland, John Mayer Love: They’re Trying to Steal Your Heart!!! Home Is Where the Harm Is: You’re in a Hallway to Hell Go Go Gadget Death: Surviving the Techpocalypse The Hippocratic Hoax: Defeating the Medical Menace Mind-Fucked: How Education Kills Be the Fear You Want to Flee in the World THE BOOK ITSELF IS A THREAT: With pointy hardcover corners, pages that could slap you, and a removable foldout Fear Map ready to strike at your nerves from the book's inside back cover, this humor book is unsafe to buy for yourself or to give as a gift to everyone you love. Perfect for: Comedy fans of The Onion, ClickHole, The Daily Show, and Last Week Tonight with John Oliver Fear-ridden readers of The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook Anyone in need of a laugh in these anxiety-driven times




Children of the Song


Book Description

Young warrior. Brave girl. Precocious little sister. The twins must fight for their lives! In the woods on a backward planet, called Xanis by its natives, an attack is brewing. A peaceful hold falls to enemies and House Lonmere’s extensive family is decimated with only the youngest and oldest children surviving. Kit and Megs, sheltered and protected at Lonmere for so long, are now caught up in a desperate attempt to flee from the foreign mercenaries who murdered the rest of their family. But, there is no stopping the abilities they both feel growing in their consciousness. Awareness of some deep and abiding wonder become strikingly clear when both hear the Song for the first time. Jans and Jon Stockwell, twin brothers and operatives from an advanced civilization assigned to the Brandish-Lonmere line are frantic. Forbidden to use modern tech, they could not stop the attack and subsequent deaths. Now, they must protect the two youngest surviving children at all costs. For in these children, the long awaited extra-sensory perception talents their clandestine genetics program has cultivated over the past centuries, are about to bear fruit. The twins are left with no choice. Risking their jobs and freedom, Jans and Jon must break every rule they swore to uphold. Two very different civilizations; one primitive and one advanced, are about to crash against each other’s shores with profound and far-reaching consequences.




Christine Feehan's Drake Sisters Series


Book Description

Meet the elementally gifted sisters of Sea Haven in this collection that includes five full-length Drake Sisters novels plus a novella from #1 New York Times bestselling author Christine Feehan. MAGIC IN THE WIND Ever since Damon Wilder sought refuge in Sea Haven, he’s heard the same breathless rumor so suggestive that it carries him to Sarah Drake’s cliff-top home. But Damon has not arrived alone. Two men have tracked him to Sea Haven, and into the shadows of Drake House, where Sarah hides her own secrets. And danger is just a whisper away... OCEANS OF FIRE A gifted daughter in a magical bloodline, Abigail Drake was born with a mystical affinity for water, and possesses a strong bond with dolphins, swimming among them in the waters off Sea Haven. Until she witnesses a murder on shore, and flees for her life—right into the arms of the Interpol agent who once broke her heart... DANGEROUS TIDES Dr. Libby Drake is sensible and practical. To her more adventurous sisters, she’s always been the “good girl”. Certainly not the kind to attract the attention of a genius like Ty Derrick—until a tragic accident leaves the handsome biochemist at her mercy... SAFE HARBOR Hannah Drake has been the elusive object of affection for Jonas Harrington for as long at the rugged Sea Haven sheriff can remember. If only the stunning super-model was driven by a passion other than her career. But Jonas isn’t the only one with desires for Hannah... TURBULENT SEA Joley Drake was born with a legacy of unexpected magical gifts, but it was the gift of singing that made her an overnight sensation—a rock and roll goddess trapped by fame, fortune, and ambition. Heated by the flush of success, Joley could have any man she wanted. But there’s only man who can give her what she really needs... HIDDEN CURRENTS After a long time away Elle Drake is finally on her way home to the small coastal village of Sea Haven. But when she fails to arrive, it’s left to Sheriff Jackson Deveau to rescue her from an unseen danger. But Sea Haven is no longer safe for anyone, and it’ll take the powers of all the Drake sisters and their men to survive the coming storm.




Baptiste


Book Description

She wants a husband and kids. A billionaire international player? Absolutely not… Don't miss Baptiste and Samira's scorching hot duology--now together in one volume! NO ORDINARY LOVE Samira Palmer isn’t dating anymore. Not after last time. And especially not bad boys. Her career is the only relationship she wants to be in these days, and they’re damn good together. Even if she can’t bring her job to the costume ball as a date. She didn’t expect fate to literally run into her in the form of a handsome, green-eyed Frenchman. Jean-Baptiste is not just handsome--he’s a sex god. And not just rich--he’s a billionaire. So of course he isn’t just a bad boy. He’s also an emotionally unavailable player. Opposites always attract… and the sparks flying between them could set the whole town aflame. But how can they hope for a happy ending when neither is ready to let the other in? BEYOND ORDINARY LOVE A billionaire international player and a feisty small-town career woman? It'll never work... Jean-Baptiste Mercier is guilty as charged: an international player. His feisty, gorgeous new co-worker has him nailed. In more ways than one. No one needs to know about them. Particularly since he isn’t sure quite what “they” are. He’s ready to explore a shared future, but Samira’s walls are still up. They may be unofficially official, but she’s no closer to letting him in. The fiery chemistry between them burns hotter than ever before, but how can he convince her that he’s done with his playboy ways? This smooth-talking French billionaire may have finally met his match. One-night stands aren’t supposed to lead to happily-ever-after. But anything is possible if you fight for it… and Baptiste never backs down from a fight....




Beyond Ordinary Love


Book Description




Twisted Sisters Dumb Brothers


Book Description

TWISTED SISTERS AND DUMB BROTHERS: A DESCRIPTIVE ANALYSIS OF THE FALL AND DESTRUCTION OF THE BLACK RACE AS WE ONCE KNEW IT. This particular analysis has in a small way tried to analyze what has happened to the great and proud black race as we once knew it. There are several crucial and critical questions which are deemed to be answered here. We now need to bring them to the forefront. SOME FINAL THOUGHTS ON THE DESTRUCTION OF THE BLACK RACE PROCESS This analysis has basically tried to provide some interesting insight into why the black race as we once knew it is on its way towards total destruction and annihilation HOW CAN BLACKS STOP ELIMINATE AND SLOW DOWN THIS PROCESS: The key to stopping the whole elimination the eradication of the proud black race as we once have known it; is to figure out what are we going to do to pull ourselves out by the bootstraps and get our economic development and moralist acts together in order that we survive instead of perishing together. A necessary and sufficient derivative for understanding this process will be for the black citizen to try to understand two unequivocal points of interests: 1. How To Learn To Respect Each Other 2. How To Learn To Work And Get Along Together There are no other theoretical concepts of life which makes it harder for blacks to learn more important than that we have to learn to give each other proper respect and the perpetuate the notion that in order for us to prosper that we must learn how to work together.




The Essential Romance Classics


Book Description

Musaicum Books presents to you this warm and meticulously edited collection for these stressful times: Romeo & Juliet by William Shakespeare (Play) Romeo & Juliet (Prose Version) Evelina (Fanny Burney) Camilla (Fanny Burney) Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen) Sense and Sensibility (Jane Austen) Mansfield Park (Jane Austen) Emma (Jane Austen) Persuasion (Jane Austen) The Sorrows of Young Werther (Goethe) Jane Eyre (Charlotte Brontë) Villette (Charlotte Brontë) Wuthering Heights (Emily Brontë) The Tenant of Wildfell Hall (Anne Brontë) The Red and the Black (Stendhal) Lorna Doone (R.D. Blackmore) Dangerous Liaisons (Pierre Choderlos de Laclos) The Portrait of a Lady (Henry James) The Wings of the Dove (Henry James) Scarlet Letter (Nathaniel Hawthorne) Adam Bede (George Eliot) Anna Karenina (Leo Tolstoy) Far from the Madding Crowd (Thomas Hardy) Tess of the d'Urbervilles (Thomas Hardy) North and South (Elizabeth Gaskell) Wives and Daughters (Elizabeth Gaskell) The Age of Innocence (Edith Wharton) Little Women (Louisa May Alcott) An Old-Fashioned Girl (Louisa May Alcott) The Lady of the Camellias (Alexandre Dumas) The House of a Thousand Candles (Meredith Nicholson) Great Expectations (Charles Dickens) The Phantom of the Opera (Gaston Leroux) A Room with a View (E. M. Forster) The Beautiful and Damned (F. Scott Fitzgerald) Jennie Gerhardt (Theodore Dreiser) Ann Veronica (H. G. Wells) The Enchanted Barn (Grace Livingston Hill) The Girl from Montana (Grace Livingston Hill) The Miranda Trilogy (Grace Livingston Hill) Marcia Schuyler Phoebe Deane Miranda The Agony Column (Earl DerrBiggers) The Bride of Lammermoor (Walter Scott) Night and Day (Virginia Woolf) Affairs of State (Burton Egbert Stevenson) Jill the Reckless (P.G. Wodehouse) The Black Moth (Georgette Heyer) The Transformation of Philip Jettan (Georgette Heyer) And Both Were Young (Madeleine L'Engle) Penny Plain (O. Douglas) The Awakening (Kate Chopin)