Teacher Misery


Book Description

Teacher Misery perfectly encapsulates the comical misery that has become the teaching profession. Morris' strange, funny, and sometimes unbelievable teaching experiences are told through a collection of short stories, essays and artifacts including real emails from parents, students and administrators. From the parents who blame their son's act of arson on the teacher for causing him low self-esteem, to the student who offers to teach the teacher how to sell drugs so she can pay her bills, to the administrator whose best advice is to "treat kids like sacks of shit," one story is more shocking than the next. An important read for teachers and non-teachers alike-- Teacher Misery paints an amusing and thoroughly entertaining picture of what has become of our education system, without detracting from the overall point that what teachers have to put up with today is complete, utter, unacceptable insanity.




More Teacher Misery


Book Description

More Teacher Misery is the second volume in the Teacher Misery series! In More Teacher Misery Morris tackles even more of the hilarious, unbelievable and completely absurd experiences of teachers around the country. With topics such as pointless professional development where the author learned how to make bird noises, insanely incompetent teachers who make the good ones look bad, the shit parades that are parent conferences, lack of discipline even for kids who attack people with weapons, outrageous parent requests such as checking the size and color of a teenager




What It's Really Like: Outrageous Stories from Teachers Around the Country


Book Description

From the bestselling author of Teacher Misery, comes a collection of outrageous stories from other teachers. In this book you'll find a bit of everything including the usual helicopter parents and awful administration, horrendous student behavior with no consequences, and crazy-ass parents and their insane requests. But you'll also find weirdly entertaining stories about a little kid with a foot fetish, a group of teachers chasing a naked kid around the school parking lot, and two pregnant sisters fighting over the same baby daddy on the first day of school. There's plenty of gross stuff, like all the strange places kids put their poop and dirty maxi pads, a Barbie in a butthole, and kids who masturbate in class and hump desks. Unlike her other books, Morris included a sprinkling of tales that will break your heart and a few that will give you the warm and fuzzies we all need to keep going. This book is hilarious, shocking, heartwarming, sad, gross, and sometimes inspiring because that is what teaching is really like.




Mount Misery


Book Description

From the Laws of Mount Misery: There are no laws in psychiatry. Now, from the author of the riotous, moving, bestselling classic, The House of God, comes a lacerating and brilliant novel of doctors and patients in a psychiatric hospital. Mount Misery is a prestigious facility set in the rolling green hills of New England, its country club atmosphere maintained by generous corporate contributions. Dr. Roy Basch (hero of The House of God) is lucky enough to train there *only to discover doctors caught up in the circus of competing psychiatric theories, and patients who are often there for one main reason: they've got good insurance. From the Laws of Mount Misery: Your colleagues will hurt you more than your patients. On rounds at Mount Misery, it's not always easy for Basch to tell the patients from the doctors: Errol Cabot, the drug cowboy whose practice provides him with guinea pigs for his imaginative prescription cocktails . . . Blair Heiler, the world expert on borderlines (a diagnosis that applies to just about everybody) . . . A. K. Lowell, née Aliyah K. Lowenschteiner, whose Freudian analytic technique is so razor sharp it prohibits her from actually speaking to patients . . . And Schlomo Dove, the loony, outlandish shrink accused of having sex with a beautiful, well-to-do female patient. From the Laws of Mount Misery: Psychiatrists specialize in their defects. For Basch the practice of psychiatry soon becomes a nightmare in which psychiatrists compete with one another to find the best ways to reduce human beings to blubbering drug-addled pods, or incite them to an extreme where excessive rage is the only rational response, or tie them up in Freudian knots. And all the while, the doctors seem less interested in their patients' mental health than in a host of other things *managed care insurance money, drug company research grants and kickbacks, and their own professional advancement. From the Laws of Mount Misery: In psychiatry, first comes treatment, then comes diagnosis. What The House of God did for doctoring the body, Mount Misery does for doctoring the mind. A practicing psychiatrist, Samuel Shem brings vivid authenticity and extraordinary storytelling gifts to this long-awaited sequel, to create a novel that is laugh-out-loud hilarious, terrifying, and provocative. Filled with biting irony and a wonderful sense of the absurd, Mount Misery tells you everything you'll never learn in therapy. And it's a hell of a lot funnier.




Minority Party Misery


Book Description

When lawmakers take their ball and go home




Millionaire Expat


Book Description

Build your strongest-ever portfolio from anywhere in the world Millionaire Expat is a handbook for smart investing, saving for retirement, and building wealth while overseas. As a follow-up to The Global Expatriate's Guide to Investing, this book provides savvy investment advice for everyone—no matter where you're from—to help you achieve your financial goals. Whether you're looking for safety, strong growth, or a mix of both, index funds are the answer. Low-risk and reliable, these are the investments you won't hear about from most advisors. Most advisors would rather earn whopping commissions than follow sound financial principles, but Warren Buffett and Nobel Prize winners agree that index funds are the best way to achieve market success—so who are you ready to trust with your financial future? If you want a better advisor, this book will show you how to find one; if you'd rather go it alone, this book gives you index fund strategies to help you invest in the best products for you. Learn how to invest for both safety and strong returns Discover just how much retirement will actually cost, and how much you should be saving every month Find out where to find a trustworthy advisor—or go it alone Take advantage of your offshore status to invest successfully and profitably Author Andrew Hallam was a high school teacher who built a million-dollar portfolio—on a teacher's salary. He knows how everyday people can achieve success in the market. In Millionaire Expat, he tailors his best advice to the unique needs of those living overseas to give you the targeted, real-world guidance you need.




The Great Expectations School


Book Description

At the age of twenty-two, Dan Brown came to P.S. 85 as an eager, fresh-faced teacher. He was even as-signed his own class: 4-217. Unbeknownst to him, 4-217 was the designated “dumping ground” for all fourth-grade problem cases, and his students would prove to be more challenging than he could have ever anticipated. Intent on being a caring, dedicated teacher but confronted with unruly children, absent parents, and a failing administration, Dan was pushed to the limit time and again: he found himself screaming with rage, punching his fist through a blackboard out of sheer frustration, often just wanting to give up and walk away. Yet, in this seeming chaos, he slowly learned—from the more seasoned teachers at the school and from his own mistakes—how to discipline, teach, and make a difference. The Great Expectations School is the touching story of Class 4-217 and their teacher, Mr. Brown. But more than that, it is the revealing story of a broken educational system and all those struggling within and fighting against it.




The Trail is the Teacher


Book Description

An account of the author's 2016 thru-hike of the 2,190-mile Appalachian Trail.




The Hidden Teacher


Book Description

Did you ever notice how many teachers start out their careers so positive only to end them in misery? What happened? Was there some misfortune along the way? Was the job not what they expected? Or are they just worn down from years of struggle between ignorance and enlightenment? Teachers are the most dynamic component to any classroom. Likewise, teacher leadership is one of the prime change agents in schools. Yet, to be successful, we must first understand the system that influences our ability to teach or lead. The Hidden Teacher is a down-to-earth, practical guide for educators to assist them with not only surviving the system, but thriving in it! The Hidden Teacher explores complex issues of power, control and motivation to expose their direct and indirect influence upon us. The hope is that teachers everywhere will utilize this text as a learning experience when facing both the common and complex issues.




More Teacher Misery


Book Description

More Teacher Misery is the second volume in the Teacher Misery series! In More Teacher Misery Morris tackles even more of the hilarious, unbelievable and completely absurd experiences of teachers around the country. With topics such as pointless professional development where the author learned how to make bird noises, insanely incompetent teachers who make the good ones look bad, the shit parades that are parent conferences, lack of discipline even for kids who attack people with weapons, outrageous parent requests such as checking the size and color of a teenager's poop, this follow-up to the wildly popular memoir Teacher Misery does not disappoint!Think the stories in Teacher Misery were crazy? Just wait tilL you read More Teacher Misery!