Book Description

Several years ago I served as Dean of Students at my school. I was responsible for handling discipline problems.. As I would recommend discipline according to my district;’s uniform discipline code handbook, I began to notice an alarming trend in the students who were reffered to my office for discipline. Students who were fighting, arguing, bullying were getting younger and younger. My normal pre-teen hormone driven offenders were being outnumbered by six, seven and eight year-old girls. Alarmed by this, I decided to conduct in-house research to gain insight as to where they were getting this behavior from. I received permission to conduct the research from my principal, and promised to share my findings with him, my colleagues and most importantly, their parents. I created a survey and distributed it to 3-8th grade girls. I analyzed the results and was horrified by what they yielded. Their behavior was a carbon-copy of how we, African-American women, treat each other. The envy, jealousy, contempt that these girls had for each other is displayed by us! Puzzled and concerned, I began to think about how we as a school can began to have dialogue with the students to become change agents. But in order to get them to change, we ourselves must do so. This led me into further reflection on how we treat each other at work, in church, and in our family. I began with myself, and there my journey began. I welcome you to follow my journey as I go from the researching a subject, to becoming the subject of my research! As you read my story, it WILL eventually become yours! You will see some unflattering and often ugly behavior. Most was done by me at church, at work and with my family. I throw myself under the bus, but I take a few of you under with me. Remember the objective is to heal, not hurt. If you can’t say “Amen”, say “Ouch!”.