THAT I'M NOT, I'LL NEVER BE


Book Description

When Appahummie Dotts enters the Cook County Jail, his guilt or innocence is irrelevant to staying alive amid all the violence and chaos headed his way. As an eighteen-year-old, he can hardly believe that he’s in the belly of the beast with grown seasoned criminals- most of them without anything to lose. He weighs 130 pounds soaking wet, but he knows how to protect himself and is smart enough to mind his business. In this dramatized account, the author looks back on how he found himself in the Cook County Jail among killers, robbers, rapists, and drug dealers from all walks of life. He also reveals what it’s like to be in the Cook County Jail fighting for your life. Moreover, he shares the frustration of being in the Cook County Jail, recalling how some days he asked the Lord for strength and if the days would ever change. Each one seemed more miserable than the next, making it that much harder to keep going on.




Hyperbole and a Half


Book Description

#1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!




The Last Lecture


Book Description

The author, a computer science professor diagnosed with terminal cancer, explores his life, the lessons that he has learned, how he has worked to achieve his childhood dreams, and the effect of his diagnosis on him and his family.




It's Not Over Until You Win


Book Description

A step-by-step plan offers examples and exercises on how to determine and live by a set of values, experiment with failure as a formula for success, and take life beyond set limits.




The Greatest Book You've Never Read


Book Description

If I were to ask you to describe the Bible for me in three words, would you pick words like "phenomenal," "gripping," and "thrilling?" Not many Christians would, because most of us are under the sad misconception that the Bible is a dull, tedious book for religious folks. Such is not the case. You and I are about to embark on a journey through genres galore, viewing the Bible in full blast, high-definition color. No matter what age you are, the Bible is for you. What is this Book, lovingly nicknamed the "Sword of the Spirit?" (Ephesians 6:17) and authored by God Himself with the power to change lives, heal wounds, mend broken hearts, and equip warriors? There's only one right answer: It's the Greatest Book You've Never Read.




I Will Never Not Ever Eat a Tomato


Book Description

A fussy eater decides to sample the carrots after her brother convinces her that they are really orange twiglets from Jupiter.




Snappsy the Alligator (Did Not Ask to Be in This Book)


Book Description

Snappsy the alligator is having a normal day when a pesky narrator steps in to spice up the story. Is Snappsy reading a book ... or is he making CRAFTY plans? Is Snappsy on his way to the grocery store ... or is he PROWLING the forest for defenseless birds and fuzzy bunnies? Is Snappsy innocently shopping for a party ... or is he OBSESSED with snack foods that start with the letter P? What's the truth? Snappsy the Alligator (Did Not Ask to Be in This Book) is an irreverent look at storytelling, friendship, and creative differences, perfect for fans of Mo Willems.




You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey


Book Description

*A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER AND INDIE NEXT PICK* Writer and performer on Late Night with Seth Meyers Amber Ruffin writes with her sister Lacey Lamar with humor and heart to share absurd anecdotes about everyday experiences of racism. Now a writer and performer on Late Night with Seth Meyers and host of The Amber Ruffin Show, Amber Ruffin lives in New York, where she is no one's First Black Friend and everyone is, as she puts it, "stark raving normal." But Amber's sister Lacey? She's still living in their home state of Nebraska, and trust us, you'll never believe what happened to Lacey. From racist donut shops to strangers putting their whole hand in her hair, from being mistaken for a prostitute to being mistaken for Harriet Tubman, Lacey is a lightning rod for hilariously ridiculous yet all-too-real anecdotes. She's the perfect mix of polite, beautiful, petite, and Black that apparently makes people think "I can say whatever I want to this woman." And now, Amber and Lacey share these entertainingly horrifying stories through their laugh-out-loud sisterly banter. Painfully relatable or shockingly eye-opening (depending on how often you have personally been followed by security at department stores), this book tackles modern-day racism with the perfect balance of levity and gravity.







The Outlaw's Bride


Book Description

Lillian Christian had a simple plan… All she had to do was sneak out of Virginia before her brother forced her to marry a man in order to get money. She was nothing but a commodity for her brother to sell, and she wasn’t going to have any part in it. So she answered Charles’ mail-order bride ad and headed for an untamed land where she could take on a whole new identity. But plans don’t always go as expected… On her way to marry her intended, a group of masked outlaws descend upon the stagecoach. And they are looking specifically for her. Mic has a plan of his own… The last thing Mic Gray wants to do is scare Lillian, but kidnapping her is the only way to stop her from marrying Charles. Mic’s face might be on the Wanted posters, but Charles is the real criminal in town. Only Mic’s lack of money and influence prevents him from proving it. The only way to keep Lillian safe is to become her husband. All he has to do is convince her he’s worth marrying. Please note: This is the rewrite of The Stagecoach Bride that I wrote with Stephannie Beman.