Author : Ross Petras
Publisher : Main Street Books
Page : 242 pages
File Size : 50,41 MB
Release : 1993-03-01
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0385419287
A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips, spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous and infamous figures past and present -- a complete course in anti-eloquence by the foot-in-mouth champions of all time.
Author : Ross Petras
Publisher : Main Street Books
Page : 242 pages
File Size : 27,8 MB
Release : 2010-12-08
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0307764621
A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips, spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous and infamous figures past and present -- a complete course in anti-eloquence by the foot-in-mouth champions of all time.
Author : Kathryn Petras
Publisher : Villard
Page : 231 pages
File Size : 23,81 MB
Release : 2011-07-06
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0307800954
The creme de la crud of screen history "War! War! That's all you think of, Dick Plantagenet! You burner! You pillager!" --Virginia Mayo as Lady Edith to George Sanders in King Richard and the Crusaders (1954) "Visits? That would indicate visitors." --Army captain learning of alien visits in Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) "When I'm sitting here with you, I don't even think about the slime people." --Hero to heroine in The Slime People (1962) "Suck the coffin mushroom now." --The Ultimate Vampire (1991) "This is bad." --Leonardo DiCaprio as the you-know-what hits the you-know-what in Titanic (1997)
Author : Ross Petras
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 292 pages
File Size : 47,80 MB
Release : 1999
Category : Political science
ISBN : 0671040537
...A nonpartisan hall of shame featuring the idiotic utterances, ridiculous slogans, mixed metaphors, and lame excuses that have fallen from the mouths of our fearless leaders around the world, and from the present and past (because stupidity knows no age).
Author : Kathryn Petras
Publisher : Villard
Page : 305 pages
File Size : 24,19 MB
Release : 2007-12-18
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0307417611
A hilarious collection of lists, statistics, news items, quotations, and facts detailing stupid acts of Americans from all walks of life—by the authors of the bestselling The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said Everyone knows that America is “the land of the free and the home of the brave,” but sometimes that means we’re free to be as bravely stupid as we want! In Unusually Stupid Americans, Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras assemble choice bits of stupidity, U.S.A.-style, including •the top seriously flawed American advertising moments, including Pacific Airlines’ brilliant “You’re scared of flying? So’s our pilot!” ad campaign, which led the airline to bankruptcy within two months of the campaign’s inception •the Martin Luther King, Jr., celebration in Florida, where a plaque was un-veiled that was intended to honor the actor James Earl Jones but instead read, “Thank you James Earl Ray for keeping the dream alive” (an unfortunate slip-up, as James Earl Ray was King’s assassin) •and much more!
Author : Kathryn Petras
Publisher : Workman Publishing Company
Page : 241 pages
File Size : 21,65 MB
Release : 2011-11-02
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0761168680
Not just stupidity, but obsessive stupidity! Not just random stupidity, but organized stupidity! Here, from the celebrated collectors of the stupidest things ever said, it’s the cre`me de la cre`me of stupidities, made even funnier and more compelling in an irresistible top 10 list format. Try one: The Top 10 Stupidest Actual Book Titles: 1. A Toddler’s Guide to the Rubber Industry 2. Constipation and our Civilization 3. Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers 4. The Secret of Sphincters 5. A Pictorial Book of Tongue Coating 6. Life and Laughter ’midst the Cannibals 7. Be Bold With Bananas 8. Hand-Grenade Throwing as a College Sport 9. Collect Fungi on Stamps 10. A Study of Hospital Waiting Lists in Cardiff, 1953–1954 Plus lost-in-translation moments. Doubles entendres. Political speeches, foreign menus, traffic signs. Celebrities on literature, on homelessness, on revealing too much about themselves. Mangled cliche ́s and bizarre analogies, the wit of the witless and comedy of the clueless—never before have so many said something so dumb, now in one book.
Author : Kathryn Petras
Publisher : Vintage
Page : 145 pages
File Size : 35,36 MB
Release : 1997-03-25
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0679776222
Writing very bad poetry requires talent. It helps to have a wooden ear for words, a penchant for sinking into a mire of sentimentality, and an enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely appalling incompetence. The 131 poems collected in this first-of-its-kind anthology are so glaringly awful that they embody a kind of genius. From Fred Emerson Brooks' "The Stuttering Lover" to Matthew Green's "The Spleen" to Georgia Bailey Parrington's misguided "An Elegy to a Dissected Puppy", they mangle meter, run rampant over rhyme, and bludgeon us into insensibility with their grandiosity, anticlimax, and malapropism. Guaranteed to move even the most stoic reader to tears (of laughter), Very Bad Poetry is sure to become a favorite of the poetically inclined (and disinclined).
Author : Ross Petras
Publisher : Main Street Books
Page : 177 pages
File Size : 50,58 MB
Release : 2011-11-09
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0307799360
*Too lazy to drive to his girlfriend's house, a man ties helium balloons to a lawn chair--and ends up at 15,000 feet, closing the L. A. airport. *A Chinese contraception program causes the birth rate to rise when men are discovered taking birth control pills and unrolling condoms over their fingers--exactly as shown in the training film. *A gang of Norwegian thieves carefully uses explosives to open a safe--only to find the safe is filled with dynamite. . . In the national bestseller The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said--over 200,000 copies in print--Ross and Kathryn Petras immortalized idiotic utterances by public figures and average citizens alike. But what about the doers out there, the people who didn't stop at speaking, but went right out and did something stupid instead? It's time to give credit where credit is due. The 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done is a hilarious collection of inane incidents, senseless stunts, farcical feats, and utterly asinine activities from throughout history, and around the globe. From Sam Goldwyn to Walter Mondale, Albert Einstein to Fabio, the board of General Motors to British Parliament, this comic compendium chronicles the stupidest acts, ideas, decisions, inventions, songs, and ad campaigns that the mind of modern man has been able to devise. The 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done is a non-stop barrage of belly laughs, conclusive proof that actions speak louder--and funnier--than words.
Author : Ross Petras
Publisher : Main Street Books
Page : 212 pages
File Size : 27,81 MB
Release : 1996
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780385483414
From the authors of The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said comes a sidesplitting collection of inane incidents, senseless stunts, farcical feats, and utterly asinine activities from thoughout history and around the globe. A nonstop barrage of belly laughs, this comic compendium offers conclusive proof that actions speak louder--and funnier--than words.
Author : Ross Petras
Publisher : Main Street Books
Page : 209 pages
File Size : 29,61 MB
Release : 2012-02-08
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0307547612
A mother, answering her phone, hears her daughter shrieking and screaming. Terrified, she calls the police who arrive at the daughter's house, batter down the door--and find the daughter, nude, in her bedroom having sex with her boyfriend. Apparently her toe hit the automatic dial button for her mother's number on the bedroom phone. A man, swimming in a Florida pool, sees the pool intake pipe and gets a unique idea. Hours later, after police, firemen, and EMT personnel are called, the man is taken to an area hospital--along with ten feet of pipe attached to a very swollen part of his anatomy. A newly married couple in Turin set up a video camera in their bedroom to tape all of their honeymoon activities. But somehow certain crucial wires got crossed. While they were enjoying their honeymoon sex, so was everyone else in their apartment building: the couple had accidentally connected their camera to the building's cable television system. In the national bestseller The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said Ross and Kathryn Petras immortalized idiotic utterances by public figures and average citizens alike. The 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done chronicled fiascoes, senseless stunts, and utterly asinine activities from around the globe. Now, Stupid Sex takes on the subject that no one can resist. It's about people who get caught in the act . . . and about people who get caught in the trash disposal. Stupid Sex tells two hundred true stories of extremely dumb (and very funny) sex acts arranged under headings ranging from Airplane Sex to Zoo Bathroom Sex.
