The Baby Owner's Manual


Book Description

At last! A beginner's guide to newborn baby technology, complete with step-by-step instructions, FAQs, and schematics, from a board-certified pediatrician and his son (an older model). Congratulations—you’ve just acquired one of life’s biggest technological marvels: a newborn baby! New owners have so many questions: How do I handle sleep malfunctions? When should I bring the baby to a doctor for servicing? What transportation accessories do I need? New users will get plenty of useful advice on: PREPARATION AND HOME INSTALLATION: How to store your baby properly GENERAL CARE: Effective techniques for handling, holding, and comforting the baby FEEDING: An in-depth guide to your baby’s power supply, from breastfeeding to solid food PROGRAMMING SLEEP MODE: How to Configure baby’s sleeping area and manage issues such as overstimulation GENERAL MAINTENANCE: Keep that new baby smell fresh with tips on sanitation and care, such as diaper installation and cleaning GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT: Perform user testing on baby’s reflexes, note and track milestones, plus advanced motor and sensory skills SAFETY AND EMERGENCY MAINTENANCE: Monitor baby’s health, tackle childproofing, learn life-saving procedures, plus get fixes for minor issues such as cradle cap and diaper rash Whatever your concerns, celebrated pediatrician Dr. Louis Borgenight and his son, Joe Borgenicht, provide plenty of useful advice for anyone who wants to learn the basics of childcare.




The Baby Owner's Manual


Book Description




The Baby Owner's Manual


Book Description




Baby


Book Description

Congratulations on becoming a BABY owner! Your new acquisition, with proper care and maintenance, should provide you with many years of enjoyment. This manual is a complete guide to the care and operation of your new unit. Instructions for models XX-G, “Baby Girl” and XY-B, “Baby Boy” are included herein, with specific instructions for handling, filling, storing, transporting, cleaning, and troubleshooting. To keep your unit in proper working order, please follow all instructions carefully. Warning: The publishers of this manual are not responsible for any damage unit causes to owner’s home, property, or mental health. Please allow up to nine months for delivery.







The Baby Owner's Maintenance Log


Book Description

Based on the successful Baby Owner's Manual, The Baby Owner's Maintenance Log presents a refreshing alternative to traditional sugar-sweet baby journals. Hip parents can record all major milestones and measurements in these pages, including the arrival of the unit, fuel preferences and speech activation. Spiral binding, hilarious illustrations and a bound-in envelope for keepsakes make this guided journal a great shower gift.




The Pediatrician's New Baby Owner's Manual


Book Description

After a year of preparation, eighteen year old Raven Smith has researched and planned out every detail of her summer vacation in Europe; those plans DO NOT include boys, romance, or falling in love (definitely not the last one). But, even before the plane touches-down her well-laid plans go dreadfully off-course. While still airborne, Raven finds a letter in her carry-on suitcase that her senile neighbor broke into her house to stash in her bag; the letter tells Raven to turn back, not to go to Europe, that an "evil agent of Hell" is looking for Raven and he will find her if she disregards the letter's message. But Raven does disregard the letter... Almost as soon as Raven steps foot onto Rome's streets, dark, seductive Andras starts showing up at nearly every site Raven visits; Raven finds herself drawn to Andras in a way she's never been drawn to anyone, while at the same time... he terrifies her. Then in comes Nicholas, an impossible-not-to-like Swedish guy, who is determined to keep Raven away from Andras... The two guys share a dark secret. Both are determined that Raven never learns the truth. She doesn't know who to trust, or if she should trust anyone. If Raven frees herself from the deception twined around her... the most horrifying secret she could uncover, might be her own... her past... who she really is...and how the forces of Hell plan to use her to destroy the future...




Baby Owner's Starter Kit


Book Description

The Baby Owner's Starter Kit includes: - The Baby Owner's Manual - Growth Chart, with stickers for marking baby's progress - Diaper Changing Instructional Poster - Babysitter's Memo Pad - Decorative magnet




Baby Owner's Manual


Book Description

For fathers and their partners, a humorous laugh-out-loud introduction to the chaotic world of parenting, packaged as a retro car manual Regardless of the model you have taken delivery of, your baby will have certain standard equipment in common with all babies, and some which vary from model to model. No two Mother Nature Heavy Industries (MNHI) babies are identical. A humorous operating guide for fathers, this book likens a new baby to the other love in a man's life--no, not his wife, his car This essential handbook covers everything from delivery of baby from Mother Nature Heavy Industries, regular servicing of your baby, standard equipment, the cooling system and liquid waste disposal, warning signs, even optimizing economy, and getting the most out of your baby. This is a must-have book for any father-to-be.




Baby


Book Description