The Cat Owner's Survival Guide


Book Description

A spoof cartoon survival guide for cat owners, in similar format to Martin Baxendale's series of spoof New Baby owner manuals, record books and guides. A humorous gift-book for both first-time cat owners and more experienced cat lovers.




The Cat Owner's Survival Guide


Book Description

A hilarious, fully illustrated book full of tongue-in-cheek advice for surviving life as a cat parent – the perfect gift for any cat lover You have the best cat in the world, it’s true. But there’s no avoiding the fact that, perfect and adorable as they may be, there are certain elements of being a cat owner that you could do without. Those thoughtful “gifts” you find in the kitchen. The scratch-marks on the couch. Their hairballs clogging up your vacuum cleaner. Luckily, this no-nonsense guide is here to teach you all the tricks you’ll ever need to help you navigate life with your furry friend, so you can focus on the positives – like giving them head-scritches and cooing over their little toe beans. With pearls of wisdom like these, you’ll be a pro cat parent in no time: As a cat parent, you will need to work out the golden number of tummy rubs your cat will allow before they turn into an uncontrollable scratch-monster Your cat may look cute and innocent, but there’s an evil mastermind secretly at work behind all that fluff Items placed on a surface are highly offensive to cats and will be quickly dispatched to the floor, where they belong




The Real Cat Owner's Survival Guide


Book Description

It's been said that cats are the nicest predators we'll ever allow in our homes. Humorist Kevin Lawson claims to understand how these masters of manipulation actually work, and he's even written a survival guide for other human "owners". We can't really say if the Cat Overlords have signed off on this project, however. The Art Form That Is Cat Napping Cats are the ultimate masters of napping, and their ability to find the most absurdly small spaces to curl up in is nothing short of a miracle. I mean, have you ever seen a cat squeeze itself into a box that's clearly three sizes too small? It's like watching a magician perform a trick, except instead of pulling a rabbit out of a hat, they're somehow folding their entire body into a shoebox. You've got to give them credit for their flexibility, but really, it raises the question: what is it about small spaces that makes cats think, "Ah, yes, this is the perfect spot for a snooze"? Take my cat, Whiskers. He's a hefty little guy, not exactly the poster child for feline agility, yet he has this uncanny ability to turn into a contortionist when he spots a cozy nook. I once watched him climb into a cardboard box that was meant for a pair of shoes. I stood there, mouth agape, as he squished himself in, paws splayed out, and somehow managed to fit. It was as if he was channeling his inner origami artist, folding himself into a shape that defied the laws of physics. I half-expected him to emerge with a tiny hat and a bowtie, ready for a formal event. And then there's the laundry basket. Oh, the laundry basket. It's like a five-star hotel for cats. Whiskers will leap into that thing, and suddenly it's like he's found the softest, warmest cloud in the universe. But here's the kicker: he doesn't just lie down. No, he has to dig himself in, burrowing deeper and deeper until he's completely hidden. You'd think he was preparing for a winter hibernation rather than a quick nap. I can't help but wonder if he thinks he's camouflaging himself, like some kind of furry ninja. "If I can't see you, you can't see me," he seems to be saying, while I'm left wondering how I can possibly do laundry with a cat in residence. And then there are the truly bizarre choices. The other day, I found him napping inside a plastic bag. A plastic bag! I mean, what's next? A nap in the toaster? I can just picture it: "Whiskers, what are you doing?" "Just getting my beauty sleep, Mom! This is the latest trend in cat napping." It's like he's trying to prove a point: "You humans think you need a comfy bed? Pfft! I'll show you how to nap like a pro." ...




The Essential Survival Guide for Cat Owners


Book Description

This is the only illustrated dark humor survival guidebook for cat lovers that you will ever need. It will keep you from going over the edge when your feline family member has taken control over your house and your life. The book's witty artwork and spot on cartoons depict life with cats as it is: cats are lovely, cuddly, sweet, as well as headstrong, picky, egotistic, and cunning - true dictators. And they have a memory like an elephant - every little injustice will be avenged. Included are over 60 original illustrations accompanied by text based on real life experiences as well as careful research. Learn to understand your cat, and rest assured there are others who also would do anything for their beloved pet family member... Mona Eklund has three cats Ramses, Exit, and Bastian. They all live in a small town in Sweden. Besides being an illustrator, Mona is a teacher of Swedish as a second language.




The Cat Lover's Survival Guide


Book Description

Here is must reading for first-time cat owners - though everybody who loves cats will find helpful information in these pages. Included are strategies for protecting feline friends from household hazards and humane ways to correct undesirable habits. Specific advice covers managing the litter box, dealing with hair balls, finding a lost cat, furniture alternatives to dissuade clawing, gardening with a cat in the yard, dealing with a cat's disabilities as it ages, and much more. Amusing line art.




Every Cat's Survival Guide to Living with a Neurotic Owner


Book Description

Meow! Some kitties have a few catty things to say about their owners. And when they do, they talk to Dear Tabby. She's got the answers, so cats can understand why the people in their life act so strangely. But felines aren't the only ones who will benefit from Tabby's smarts: concerned humans who want to know what's going on with their furry friends will find invaluable insights in her responses. Plus, these letters are fun! See why Miss Puff won't play; why Priscilla wants the scoop on your sudden obsession with her figure (and why the food bowl's no longer full all the time); and why Belle, a dignified older cat, has some problems with litter box etiquette.




The Little Instruction Book for Cat Parents


Book Description

This hilarious, no-nonsense survival guide is on hand to help you accept that being a cat parent is not a choice, but a lifestyle. Filled with original illustrations and tongue-in-cheek advice, this sneak peek into the mind of the mundane moggy will make the perfect gift for any cat lover.







Zelda's Survival Guide


Book Description

In "Zelda's Survival Guide," Zelda is the guide dog for all stages of life, teaming up with puppy pal Angus to give tips on how to survive childhood and parenting and delivering advice on the best way to overcome stress in the workplace, win with a double chin through mid-life, and much more.